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Revoltistanian Jokes

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Revoltingest, Aug 13, 2019.

  1. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    What does one say to a Revoltistanian wearing a suit?
    Will the defendant please rise.
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
  2. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    What does one say to a Revoltistanian in a soap shop?

    Stop eating that. Its not food.
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  3. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    Why do Revoltistanians like velcro wallets?
    Because they too cry when opened to spend money.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  4. siti

    siti Well-Known Member

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    Revoltistanian walks into the doctors and says "do you treat alcoholics?"...the doctor says "yes of course we do"...Revoltistanian says "great - get your coat on, I'm flat broke".
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 2
  5. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    A Revoltistanian walks into a barr and the two:

    Talk the Mueller report
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  6. BSM1

    BSM1 Who's a good boy?

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    Why are tornadoes and divorce similar in Revoltistan?

    Either way you lose your trailer
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  7. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    When a Revoltistanian looks in the mirror, he sees a large crack, and the mirror cracks back.
     
  8. We Never Know

    We Never Know Well-Known Member

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    Revoltistanian said "man nothing hurts as bad as getting your pecker caught in a zipper. I learned my lesson. I'm never wearing zip up boots again"
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  9. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    a Revolt walked into a bar

    the bartender said.....Get out
    You're already distilled
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. siti

    siti Well-Known Member

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    A vagrant knocks at the door of a Revoltistani and asks for some cake

    Revoltistani: that's a bit of a cheek isn't it, knocking at my door and asking for cake

    Vagrant: well its my birthday

    Revoltistani: well I don't have any cake, would you like some cold haggis?

    Vagrant: Yes please

    Revoltistani: then come back tomorrow - its still hot!
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    How many Revoltistanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Only one.
    While I hold it, I expect the rest of the world to spin around for me.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. BSM1

    BSM1 Who's a good boy?

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    A Revoltistani found a magic lamp one after leaving a local pub. He rubbed the lamp, a genie popped out, and he was granted the usual three wishes. Not wanting to call it a night, the slightly inebriated gentleman wished for another bottle of ale. *Poof*...he had it in his hand. The Genie asked what his second wish would be.
    "Well," he said, "this bottle of ale is so good that I wish that it would never be empty no matter how much I drink."
    *Poof*...it was done. No matter how much he drank the bottle would magically refill.
    After a few good gulps the Genie asked for his third wish.
    "Well," said the guy, "this ale is so good, I wish I had another just like it..."
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. BSM1

    BSM1 Who's a good boy?

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    (I am not going to tell how R's screwing in a light bulb scenarios I went through in my mind without finding one to fit...)
     
  14. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    A Revoltistanian goes into a car spares shop and asks for a 710 cap.

    Assistant is confused, 'sorry sir (he doesnt know the customer is a Revolt), i dont know what that is, can you draw it for me please'

    Mr Revolt says, i can do better than that, i have a photo...

    mp,650x642,gloss,f8f8f8,t-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 3
  15. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    There are 3 kinds of Revoltistanians....
    1) Those who can count.
    2) And those who can't.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    There once was a Scot named Revolting
    who fancied the sport of pole volting
    with his very first vault
    the crowd shouted halt
    the flip of his kilt was Revolting
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. BSM1

    BSM1 Who's a good boy?

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    How can you spot an elderly Revoltistani in a nudist camp?

    ain't hard
     
  18. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    @Wirey asked....
    "What does "IDK" stand for?"
    I don't know.
    Nobody does!
     
  19. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    Woman walks into store.
    "I'd like to buy some monogrammed underwear....Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.....thru Sunday."
    Revoltistanian hears this.
    "I'd like to buy some too....January, February, March....thru December."
     
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