Revoltistanian Jokes

[Revoltingest]

What does one say to a Revoltistanian wearing a suit?

Spoiler:

Will the defendant please rise.

 

[Brickjectivity]

What does one say to a Revoltistanian in a soap shop?

Spoiler

Stop eating that. Its not food.

 

[Revoltingest]

Why do Revoltistanians like velcro wallets?

Spoiler

Because they too cry when opened to spend money.

 

[siti]

Revoltistanian walks into the doctors and says "do you treat alcoholics?"...the doctor says "yes of course we do"...Revoltistanian says "great - get your coat on, I'm flat broke".

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

A Revoltistanian walks into a barr and the two:

Spoiler

Talk the Mueller report

 

[BSM1]

Why are tornadoes and divorce similar in Revoltistan?

Spoiler

Either way you lose your trailer

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

When a Revoltistanian looks in the mirror, he sees a large crack, and the mirror cracks back.

 

[We Never Know]

Revoltistanian said "man nothing hurts as bad as getting your pecker caught in a zipper. I learned my lesson. I'm never wearing zip up boots again"

 

[Thief]

a Revolt walked into a bar

the bartender said.....Get out
You're already distilled

 

[siti]

A vagrant knocks at the door of a Revoltistani and asks for some cake

Revoltistani: that's a bit of a cheek isn't it, knocking at my door and asking for cake

Vagrant: well its my birthday

Revoltistani: well I don't have any cake, would you like some cold haggis?

Vagrant: Yes please

Revoltistani: then come back tomorrow - its still hot!

 

[Revoltingest]

How many Revoltistanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler

Only one.
While I hold it, I expect the rest of the world to spin around for me.

 

[BSM1]

A Revoltistani found a magic lamp one after leaving a local pub. He rubbed the lamp, a genie popped out, and he was granted the usual three wishes. Not wanting to call it a night, the slightly inebriated gentleman wished for another bottle of ale. *Poof*...he had it in his hand. The Genie asked what his second wish would be.
"Well," he said, "this bottle of ale is so good that I wish that it would never be empty no matter how much I drink."
*Poof*...it was done. No matter how much he drank the bottle would magically refill.
After a few good gulps the Genie asked for his third wish.
"Well," said the guy, "this ale is so good, I wish I had another just like it..."

 

[BSM1]

How many Revoltistanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Spoiler

Only one.
While I hold it, I expect the rest of the world to spin around for me.

(I am not going to tell how R's screwing in a light bulb scenarios I went through in my mind without finding one to fit...)

 

[ChristineM]

A Revoltistanian goes into a car spares shop and asks for a 710 cap.

Assistant is confused, 'sorry sir (he doesnt know the customer is a Revolt), i dont know what that is, can you draw it for me please'

Mr Revolt says, i can do better than that, i have a photo...

Spoiler: 710 cap

 

[Revoltingest]

There are 3 kinds of Revoltistanians....

Spoiler

1) Those who can count.
2) And those who can't.

 

[Thief]

There once was a Scot named Revolting
who fancied the sport of pole volting
with his very first vault
the crowd shouted halt
the flip of his kilt was Revolting

 

[BSM1]

How can you spot an elderly Revoltistani in a nudist camp?

Spoiler

ain't hard

 

[Revoltingest]

@Wirey asked....
"What does "IDK" stand for?"

Spoiler

I don't know.
Nobody does!

 

[Revoltingest]

Woman walks into store.
"I'd like to buy some monogrammed underwear....Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.....thru Sunday."
Revoltistanian hears this.
"I'd like to buy some too....January, February, March....thru December."