Returning Home?

[Doc]

I was raised in a moderate Catholic family and have grown with a solid upbringing. I have no complaints about my parents. When I was maybe 13 years old, I dismissed the faith I was raised in as a sham and went searching. At 14, I was a fervent atheist and me along with most of my other Catholic school friends held most religions, and especially Christianity, in contempt.

When I turned 18 (I'm turning 19 in just another month) I worked various well-paying jobs and began to become much more interested in politics, leaning primarily to the right first as a strictly economic conservative, but gradually becoming a social one as well. Around this same time, I became much less emphatic in my denunciations of religion, and stopped altogether my rantings about it. The biggest reason for this was because I started actually agreeing with the moral beliefs of my former faith.

My passion for history, namely military history (I'm a history major and officer in training for the Army) eventually branched more into ideology and philosophy. I started reading some of the works of the famous G.K. Chesterton and I've been truly inspired by him. More recently, my father has become a Eucharistic minister to the homebound as well as a volunteer at various other religious activities. This all has peaked my interest in Catholicism again.

I almost feel like I'm being called back to the Church. Just this past week, I felt a strange feeling after receiving communion, almost like a calling. I don't disbelieve in God anymore, and I want to have religion in my life. And I figured what better place to go back to then the one I was raised in?

I guess what I'm asking is; just what do I do to come back to the Church? It's not like I officially left or anything. Besides skipping out on a weekend here and there, I have gone to weekly mass with my parents and kept my disbelief to myself. I went through all the motions and said all the prayers, and didn't look any different than all the other folks at mass. I thought I once heard it was possible for Catholics who had somewhat lapsed to go to RCIA, but then again, I've been baptized, confirmed, and received Reconciliation.

I suppose going to confession would be a decent of a start as any. I haven't done that in years. But after that, then what?

Any assistance this community could offer would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Katzpur]

Hi, Doc. I hope nobody will object to me posting here since I'm not a Catholic, but I just wanted to say that I'm really happy for you.

 

[Quiddity]

Hi Doc.

Pray...
Continue attending Mass...
Make an appointment with the priest...
Continue reading...
Begin the metamorphosis...

I wrote this some time back to someone else and it's sort of catered to him but I think it can be useful to you as well. Go ahead and read it.

http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/catholic/50082-why-should-i-catholic.html

Let me know if you need any resources.

BTW, GK Chesterton is just the bomb!

 

[Doc]

Thank you both for the quick responses.

Victor,

Can you direct my to any literature out there from people who have returned to Catholicism from disbelief? Or who just grew up non-religious and became Catholic? I imagine there is a lot of folks who came from a different religion, but I'd be more interested in reading about someone who has gone through more what I'm going through.

 

[Quiddity]

Well, I wasn't a deist (although I strongly considered it) but I was certainly an atheist for some years. Let me see what I can find.

 

[Dunemeister]

Starters: Welcome To Anne Rice.com!

 

[Doc]

Well, I wasn't a deist (although I strongly considered it) but I was certainly an atheist for some years. Let me see what I can find.

It's only been recently that I've considered myself a deist. Now, I feel willing to go one step further in belief. I was an atheist for most of the past 5 years.

 

[chlotilde]

Well Doc, you're light years ahead of how I did it. I began disbelieving in my teens and stopped going to Church when I went away to college (for the most part, until I found out that Boomer Esiason went to 10 AM Mass, so I showed up once in awhile just to swoon...haha). But officially I was semi-athiest...I just never thought about God or religion much except as it pertained to history when I read books.

Then I turned 30 and got married in the Church because that was what was expected of me. Then I had kids and one day mom asks if I am ever going to baptize them, so I say sure to make her happy. Then I get this kid who asks all sorts of questions about life, like why, why, why...and I start having to "really" think of answers to her questions because trying to explain the electromagnetic spectrum to a 3 yo ain't cutting it for "why is the sky blue and not purple?"-her favorite color.

But it really did make me think a little deeper about those meaning of life questions, and I found out that my science couldn't answer all the questions I really have about it. I also began to notice patterns in knowledge that at some point, kind of scared me (i say patterns because that is what scientists really do, find patterns then try to explain them). And this overriding pattern in the meaning of life meant one of two things...A) life is a joke or B) there really is a greater meaning...so I decided to see how religion tried to answer these questions I have (and Chesterton is a great read). So I just started going to Mass again and did some reading on my own and was thrilled by some of the Church's logic that fit those illusive patterns. After about a year I finally went to confession and confessed my apostacy of close to 20 years...i literally cried but it felt good...it took me many more confessions to get out all those sins of 20 years, I'm still coming up with some then to this day, haha.

Anyway, enough of me. In theory (officially??), all you need to do is go to confession, tell the Priest where you are spiritually at the moment, and he'll tell you what's up and your good to go. But personally (and unofficially) I'd say, if your not ready for confession yet, make your confessions in personal prayer for the moment and do what feels right.

I don't really want to recommend any good reads because I don't know what your looking for, or what you like to read. I actually liked to read T. Merton, but he can be too deep for some people. I also read some Augustine, and I though he was too babyish at first, until I thought a little deeper about what he had to say. I also like Aquinas because he had a simple logic to follow in his thoughts. The "A" guys have alot of works online. So does Chesterton too.

chlo

 

[Jordan St. Francis]

Doc,

I returned to the Church at age twenty after years of disbelief (though never atheism). One of the books that really restored my image of Christ was Jesus of Nazareth, by Pope Benedict. I picked it up on a whim, still an unbeliever thinking Christ to have been an inspired teacher or 'enlightened master', and found the beauty of Christ portrayed there commanding my faith. I too, found Chesterton a tremendous inspiration.

I recommend the Confessions of St. Augustine, as well as Thomas Merton's Seven Story Mountain.

I'll keep you in my prayers, pax Domini tecum.

 

[PureX]

Any assistance this community could offer would be greatly appreciated!

I would just suggest getting more active in your church. Start going to some of the extra activities, and helping out as you can. Then let the spirit of Christ lead you.

 

[Darz]

Isn't anyone able to attend RCIA no matter where you are in your faith? If you are able to I'd recommend doing that since you would probably get a great education on the Catholic faith.

Being able to talk with someone one-on-one is very helpful. Because of that I'd probably try to search out a priest that is very welcoming and understanding and set up a time (or multiple times) to talk with him.

Other than that I'd join a youth group if you want to participate in community activities and talk with people your age.

Start reading books (it seems like past posters have given a great list of books to read).

As a side note, I find that you declaring yourself an athiest at age 14 and yet going on to be confirmed, a testament to the disheartening current day situation. I know plenty of my fellow confirmation candidates lacked any sort of interest in continuing their faith after they were confirmed. Honestly, most of what I heard was "I'm just doing it because my parents want me to." While I cannot claim to have been anywhere near a zealous practioner of my faith, I still knew that I would carry on practicing and going to mass in the future, after my confirmation and seperation from my parents. It's just sad that teenagers, who either don't believe in or understand the Catholic faith, end up being confirmed.

 

[Augustin56]

Keep in mind that God can do more with a soul in one minute than man can in a thousand years. That being said, somebody's praying for you somewhere! I can guarantee it!

Our academic system all the way from college down to grade school level has been engineered to attack Christianity in general and Catholicism, the most authentic expression of Christianity, in the most subtle, but effective ways. It's not an accident.

 

[Augustin56]

Darz, yes indeed. Even if you are already Catholic, you may attend RCIA (I help teach RCIA in our parish). If you aren't Catholic, you can attend. Even if you aren't Christian, you can attend. The primary purpose of RCIA was for non-Christians to learn about Christ, but anyone may certainly attend.

If you want to learn more about the Catholic faith on your own time, you might download some of the audio files (MP3's) from my homepage which you can get to by clicking on my Name and looking at the Contact Info tab on my profile.

In any case, enjoy.