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Discussion in 'Journals' started by AT-AT, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    I reached my breaking point awhile back and I reached out to the side of light and was brought into the light for comfort and strengthening. It felt good.

    Now that I'm back on my feet, I realize I have to thank the light, but not necessarily be one with the light.

    So for that reason, I think I may actually become on a higher plane by being neutral and not letting my supernatural experiences make me one with the light unless it's all my own choosing.

    So my message to God? Thank you for your Son and strengthening via your Son, but I have my own path to take as well. I want to acknowledge you exist, but become four dimensional, communicating not just with you, but with all that you've created including the angels, etc. Some day.

    I don't regret giving Christianity another chance. But to call myself Christian would end my pursuit of my higher self too soon. I don't think modern day Christianity by itself has all the answers for me. It has some.

    God, I really think you're different than modern day Christianity portrays you. You're more cool and calm and sympathetic and prone to error. Even if you contain power beyond any human. I'm going to worship you while listening to Avril Lavigne and see what you think.

    And I have also thought my thoughts through on who has a good afterlife. Since we don't truly know God fully, and it's up to God, I see being picked to be most blessed in heaven, to be all God's decision. Kind of like how an upper boss picks who they want to be Manager, which doesn't necessarily mean all the other employees who didn't get picked are bad, just some are fit for the job in the eyes of the upper boss who is in control.
     
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  2. Rival

    Rival Noachide
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    I hope that whatever path you choose you can remain spiritually connected to G-d and be happy, healthy and good.
     
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  3. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    I may never fully know. What I do know is I want to end my life when it ends. To die of old age. To give up and break, but never break fully. And start again. To find wisdom in struggle and hardship.

    Health is a complicated subject as well. Physical health is something that contains evidence and can often be determined one way or another. As far as mental health goes, I fathom I'm good, but I'm actually a bit too complex for such determiners. They often hurt me very badly in their pursuit of helping me. Had I been more wise when asking for help in life, 40% of all my sad stories would have never existed. 40% of my brokenness in life.
     
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  4. Neutral Name

    Neutral Name Active Member

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    I agree.
     
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  5. Rival

    Rival Noachide
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    No-one can be perfect, as we all know, but my advice to you is be who you are. Never give up on you the way you are, not trying to change for others, but going at your own pace. You may never be a powerhouse of health, but to be alive and kicking is good enough for most people; you may never have your faith nailed down - that means you can be open with ideas. Connect yourself to G-d howsoever you will and be happy.
     
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  6. The Reverend Bob

    The Reverend Bob Fart Machine and Beastmaster

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    That is part of the fun.
     
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  7. The Reverend Bob

    The Reverend Bob Fart Machine and Beastmaster

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  8. Neutral Name

    Neutral Name Active Member

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    Rival,
    I love your outlook.
     
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  9. The Reverend Bob

    The Reverend Bob Fart Machine and Beastmaster

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    You have your cross to bear. It is YOUR cross. Don't be afraid of it. Pick it up and go for it, head for the finishing line.

    Don’t you know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one wins the prize? So then, run to win! - 1 CORINTHIANS 9:24


    Also Matthew 16:24
     
  10. Rival

    Rival Noachide
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    Thank you. I had to work on it, but I realised once I stopped judging others and being happy, allowing others to be happy, and making serious efforts to connect my self to G-d, everything and everyone became better.

    And a large dose of Rabbi Nachman of course.

    Blessings to you.
     
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  11. Uncommon Sense

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    That is usually what occurs ~ bruised, battered, and broken into the ground and have had enough. Then the crossroads. Become hardened or surrender and be built up, strengthened, rehabilitated, and then set free as your own individual that makes better choices and is now aware.
     
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  12. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    I had a lot of thoughts and I made the OP post despite fears that my thoughts were too complicated to put into words. I didn't wish to post such bizarre thoughts that people had to think "Wait, what?" and in that regard, I might have been successful in not doing so.

    Regarding what made me the most happy regarding religion, I'm intrigued by the Baha'i faith and especially intrigued by New Age. Regarding Christianity, my bursts of intrigue and joy are stronger in a sense than at those other two, but don't last quite the same length. As eventually that optimism has to be met with lots of theological questions with no easy answers. One can only think "I love Jesus and Jesus is light" so long before they ask themselves "What is the state of God the Father? What is darkness? Why should I believe there was a literal Flood? What did Daniel and the person who wrote Revelation mean when they said X? What is the beast with seven heads and ten horns? How do I fit into all of this?"
     
  13. Rival

    Rival Noachide
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    Any theology evades easy answers. One cannot fathom G-d, nor know what He does or why. There are people of all religions who spend their whole lives studying scriptures; in my faith that would be first in the Yeshiva and then in the Kollel (for married men). Scripture and theology is no easy matter, nor should it be. If you have difficult questions, perhaps first understand that you can go to two different religious leaders of the same faith and be given two different answers, as this is the nature of hard asks. And then there are the layers of meaning in scripture; a literal, a figurative and a spiritual meaning may all exist in the same sentence.

    If you want concrete answers from religion as you find in mathematics you are in the wrong field, you will not be given any. There will, however, be many opinions and understandings. Ultimately, how does such and such understanding affect your life and connexion with The Creator? What does it mean? Wondering whether G-d made a donkey talk will probably not affect your relationship with Him anymore than whether you take your bread brown or white.
     
  14. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    I push myself too hard sometimes to find answers. Before my health declined (in the past, not now, I am in fact kind of in recovery, or so I'm told), I was pretty smart and once solved a complex problem for an engineer friend, who seemed to know the subject better than me overall, but still came to me asking me, which I took as a compliment.

    Anyway, I solved a problem on a rather unimportant matter, which affected his job's profits. I helped him and his business.

    But religion actually seems more important. Wars are fought over it. Some people claim you won't have a good afterlife or any afterlife if you don't find something loosely known as "the truth" whatever that is.

    So yeah. I've made progress in not wanting to change everything about myself on an unrelated note, but little progress on religion and not wanting to solve life's near-impossible mysteries.
     
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  15. Rival

    Rival Noachide
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    I think the mystery for you to solve now is understanding that not all mysteries can be solved :wink:

    Blessings.
     
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  16. Neutral Name

    Neutral Name Active Member

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  17. Rival

    Rival Noachide
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  18. Neutral Name

    Neutral Name Active Member

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    I am so very sorry, Rival!!! Glad to know that a fellow female is here.
     
    #18 Neutral Name, Jul 19, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2019
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