Respectfully asking for advice from muslims in RF

[Spirit of Light]

As you all know i am not a muslim my self, but my question is so that only a muslim would be able to answer, so i hope it's ok i ask here in Islam Dir.

My question is as follow.
What happens if a muslim woman ask and clearly show that she would like to become a friend with a non muslim? And yes I am the non muslim in question here.

Can i befriend her without the safety of her being altered? I ask this because i heard that not all muslim men accept a female being friend with non muslim, but i can be wrong here
She is born and raised here in Norway, but she dresses very Cultural to middeleastern female dress. She wear jihab.

At this point in time i do not know if she is shia or sunni

Any help here would be apreciated

 

[Hockeycowboy]

No replies?! I’m surprised!

(Or am I?....)

Just thinking, @Amanaki, you might not like the answer. But I could be wrong....hope so.

It’s very kind of you, though, to ask.

 

[Spirit of Light]

No replies?! I’m surprised!

(Or am I?....)

Just thinking, @Amanaki, you might not like the answer. But I could be wrong....hope so.

It’s very kind of you, though, to ask.

I was hoping for some guidance but maybe they dont know the answer to my question?

 

[stvdv]

Can i befriend her without the safety of her being altered? I ask this because i heard that not all muslim men accept a female being friend with non muslim, but i can be wrong here

My Master once told me in a dream to marry a specific Muslima (he showed her in the dream). I never saw her before, but when entering the ashram, she was the first one I bumped into.

So, as I take my Master very serious, I have been thinking a lot about this. My first thought was "I came here for God, so this is a test of my Master to see if He can trick me (she was a beautiful woman, gorgeous looking and very spiritual)".

I talked to her, and she was really great. I did not tell about our Master coming in my dream. I used common sense "I want to stay celibate, so I consider this the ultimate test from my Master (trying to bait me with a gorgeous woman)". I also thought that, as I am not a Muslim (and will never be) it's best not to marry a Muslima (marriage is not easy, we have about 60% divorce already, , better not make it more complex by marrying someone with such a different religion and culture). Afterwards it became clear that my discrimination and common sense was spot on in this case (for me).

After 15 years I did share all with her, and she said "Oh, you made the right decision, our Master send like 15 men to me, all telling me, that He told them they should marry me". But she was also celibate at that time, and not interested in marriage. Good to know, that my feeling was right.

Great experience, and great opportunity to just use discrimination and common sense.

Maybe 13 years later she did marry. And I asked them about it. They explained, that in her tradition it's okay to marry a non-Muslim IF the man becomes Muslim. That man wanted to marry her, so he became Muslim. I asked other Muslims and they also said, that this was the way in Islam. So for him it was the right thing to do, and for me it was the right thing not to do. All people have their own dharma. So all should decide for themselves what is right for them.

Wish you all the best... just follow your heart. Only you know what is right for you.

 

[SalixIncendium]

**THREAD MOVED TO RELIGIONS Q&A**

Also, as a reminder, Religions Q&A is a non-debate forum.​

 

[Sirona]

According to Wikipedia, under Islamic law, Muslim women can not marry non-Muslim men. Despite this, interfaith marriage between Muslim women and non-Muslim men has been a highly sensitive topic across the Muslim world for centuries, as it is considered to be a violation of Islamic law by the consensus of scholars. Although there are changes, it is still banned in many Muslim societies. While the law permits a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, it does not allow a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man without proof of his conversion to Islam. Almost all Islamic nations prohibit it. Tunisia is one of the few Muslim majority countries where Muslim women are allowed to marry non-Muslims.

Interfaith marriage in Islam - Wikipedia

I think it depends a lot on whether she is alone in the country you live in. If she has her family behind her, they will likely expect you to become a Muslim. This means for you, among other things, circumcision. For a Muslim woman, having sex outside marriage is not allowed according to Islam. Women have to marry as virgins, or else, the "family honour" might be considered violated, with possibly dangeous consequences for her. To get clarity, you really should ask your friend about her exact family situation. In Islam, family counts a lot more than individualism.

 

[Spirit of Light]

According to Wikipedia, under Islamic law, Muslim women can not marry non-Muslim men. Despite this, interfaith marriage between Muslim women and non-Muslim men has been a highly sensitive topic across the Muslim world for centuries, as it is considered to be a violation of Islamic law by the consensus of scholars. Although there are changes, it is still banned in many Muslim societies. While the law permits a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, it does not allow a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man without proof of his conversion to Islam. Almost all Islamic nations prohibit it. Tunisia is one of the few Muslim majority countries where Muslim women are allowed to marry non-Muslims.

Interfaith marriage in Islam - Wikipedia

I think it depends a lot on whether she is alone in the country you live in. If she has her family behind her, they will likely expect you to become a Muslim. This means for you, among other things, circumcision. For a Muslim woman, having sex outside marriage is not allowed according to Islam. Women have to marry as virgins, or else, the "family honour" might be considered violated, with possibly dangeous consequences for her. To get clarity, you really should ask your friend about her exact family situation. In Islam, family counts a lot more than individualism.

Thank you for a very clear answer
A lot of what you write is something i been awake of but was unsure about. I do not Seek a marriage only friendship with her. And i think that is what she is comfortable with too.
Next time i see her i will ask some questions about how she see it, and if her family is ok with her getting in to a friendship with me

 

[Sirona]

In case you seek a "friendship with benefits", you should reconsider this:

For a Muslim woman, having sex outside marriage is not allowed according to Islam. Women have to marry as virgins, or else, the "family honour" might be considered violated, with possibly dangeous consequences for her. To get clarity, you really should ask your friend about her exact family situation. In Islam, family counts a lot more than individualism.

I do not wish to be a prophet of doom, but you really should find out about her family's attitude. It's possible that they are progressive and tolerant, but just in case they're not, these are the stories that so-called "honour killings" are usually made of.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_killing

 

[The_Fisher_King]

As you all know i am not a muslim my self, but my question is so that only a muslim would be able to answer, so i hope it's ok i ask here in Islam Dir.

My question is as follow.
What happens if a muslim woman ask and clearly show that she would like to become a friend with a non muslim? And yes I am the non muslim in question here.

Can i befriend her without the safety of her being altered? I ask this because i heard that not all muslim men accept a female being friend with non muslim, but i can be wrong here
She is born and raised here in Norway, but she dresses very Cultural to middeleastern female dress. She wear jihab.

At this point in time i do not know if she is shia or sunni

Any help here would be apreciated

It depends. It is certainly true that not all Muslims (men and women) accept the idea of Muslim women being friends with non-Muslim men. But other Muslims are more amenable to the idea. Is she married? That will almost certainly be a huge factor. A lot will likely hinge on how independent she is and on attitudes within her family (assuming she still has family in Norway). There may be a cultural element too (different cultures may have different attitudes to this). My wife had male friends who weren't Muslims before we were married, and she still maintains some contact with them. So it is certainly possible. But you are I think right to be cautious. Perhaps err on the side of caution and tread softly, certainly until you have found out a bit more about her and her situation.

 

[Spirit of Light]

It depends. It is certainly true that not all Muslims (men and women) accept the idea of Muslim women being friends with non-Muslim men. But other Muslims are more amenable to the idea. Is she married? That will almost certainly be a huge factor. A lot will likely hinge on how independent she is and on attitudes within her family (assuming she still has family in Norway). There may be a cultural element too (different cultures may have different attitudes to this). My wife had male friends who weren't Muslims before we were married, and she still maintains some contact with them. So it is certainly possible. But you are I think right to be cautious. Perhaps err on the side of caution and tread softly, certainly until you have found out a bit more about her and her situation.

Thank you for your answer @The_Fisher_King
She is not marked and she told me today that her parents is ok with a friendship with me her father would like to meet with me this weekend, so maybe he looking for an answer to know what my intention for a friendship with his daugher is?
Or maybe just to know me as a person?