Rental house nightmare

[Twilight Hue]

I might still have the feelings but I do not have to continue the behavior.
I am putting a stop to the pattern right now by setting the boundary with her. If she does not like it she can vacate the premises.

It's certainly within your rights.

For me I would stay polite, but firm on the matter. Spell out things for her on paper and if she doesn't agree , then inform her there's obviously no recourse but to look somewhere else more suitable for her arrangements and expectations.

 

[Trailblazer]

Hi........
Rabbi Lionel Blue put it very clearly:-
'We need good friends, but good enemies are even more valuable.
Good enemies will tell us important things about ourselves, whereas good friends would never say a word.'

I do not believe that is true at all. Our enemies could not care less about us. Good friends listen and they might give us advice but they do not criticize us,they treat us with kindness and compassion. They do not assume they know more about us than we know about ourselves.

In the past you have told us on RF that you have been so fraught and upset that you have considered suicide.

But that is all over now, long gone, and there are OTHER reasons why I might have contemplated suicide, although I would never have followed through with it. Losing my dear cats is much more difficult than dealing with any tenant. Of course, when a tenant threatens me with a lawsuit, that is something to be afraid of, but this is not something that normally happens, it is a special situation.

The reality has always seemed to be that you are very very unhappy about a lot of things. I never read a post of yours which showed that you are contented harmony. Anybody who really really loves you would be speaking loudly to you about a bunch of things. imo.

Sure, if I start a thread about a particular problem I am having I will sound distressed, but when I write about God or the Baha’i Faith, do I seem unhappy? The rental houses and tenants are a big pain when something problematic is going on with them, but when they are rented and things are going smoothly they are not a problem at all... Is there any reason why I should be in perpetual happiness and harmony? Maybe you are but you have a different life.

I have more problems than you know about. I have bigger problems with the house I live in than I have with the rental houses, and they cannot be magically fixed just because I have the money. Moreover, I do not have the same kind of relationship with my husband as you have with your wife. That is just how it is and I am not getting divorced and looking for another man just because I might be happier on a superficial level. That is not in accordance with my Baha’i beliefs and besides, I would consider it selfish.

Spiritual happiness is really all that matters to me and I have that all the time. That is something nobody can take away from me. Material happiness is transitory, it will vanish. But I still have to live in the material world, and that is the source of ALL my unhappiness.

“The thing is, I never promised them a palace, so if they want to spend their time and money fixing it up I don’t mind.”

Do you write this kind of stuff in the Ts&Cs?

No, why would I? But in my ad I carefully explain that the house is very rustic, so anyone who wants a fancy house need not apply.

Do you think there is something wrong with a tenant spending their time and money fixing up a rental house to their own liking? The house meets the requirements for habitability but if tenants want to fix it up that is their choice.

“I am a little sentimental about the house since it was our first house as a married couple, and we lived there for 17 years, but I do not love it as if it was a human or an animal.”

...so it's nothing to do with Capital Gains?

So what if it is? Is there something immoral about Capital Gains?

You see? You knew what would happen..... true?

No, I did not say I knew what would happen. I did not KNOW she was going to start to complain. I do not know the future.

I think you love attorneys, Trailblazer.
I wonder if you have paid out more money to lawyers than you would have done to a decent Letting Agent?

I have not paid any money to attorneys. I have a Legal Shield membership so I get free consultations with attorneys whenever I need it.

“I am in the right here with the tenant in the OP.”

If you are wasting your life over this stuff then you are in the wrong. You won't starve in any event, just continue in your depressions. That is a loss.

I am not depressed, but if I am stressed or discouraged it is only temporary and it is not only over the rental houses. That is just what YOU SEE on the forum because that is what I have posted about. What problems I have with the rental houses is periodic, the other problems I have are consistent. Do you want to hear about ALL my problems, or do you think that everyone has complete control over their life situation so if they have problems it is all their own fault. That is a very unrealistic and lacking in compassion.

I cannot change everything, but I can live with certain things because they are only transitory. Personal happiness is not my life goal, service to God and the Baha’i Faith is what makes me truly happy. I cannot even believe I ever cared about some things I used to care so much about, like sex. How I wasted so many years of my life, I am grateful I finally woke up and realized it.

Trailblazer...... so you have more houses than you need, more stocks and shares than you need, and more money than you need, yet you write to us to tell us of all your 'hardships'?

Give me a break, happiness is not about how much money and assets people have.

I did not write to tell of my hardships, I was just sharing to see if I could get some advice or suggestions, and because I felt a need to share. Why do you have to interpret that as complaining, nobody else did.

There are members on here who struggle for a bed and something to eat. It's up to them to introduce themselves, so I will not.

And so that means I have no reason to ever be stressed, just because I have money? Do you even know the statistics on happiness of poor people vs. rich people? I’ll bet more rich people commit suicide.

There are many members here who could help you, I clearly cannot. The one member who absolutely has been bouncing around in my mind whilst writing this is @Amanaki .
I really do think that you should have a conversation with Amanaki. I just can't get my head around people who tell me that they are in hell over their money, stocks and material wealth.

And I cannot get my head around people who consider money, stocks and material wealth the source of happiness, or people who assume I should be happy because of my material wealth. What do you think I am going to do with my money when I cannot even get my husband to go anywhere or do anything because he only feels secure at home, find myself a traveling companion?

I am not in hell over their money, stocks and material wealth.What causes me unhappiness is the disharmony and injustice in tenant matters. This has nothing to do with money.Any landlord can tell you that problems with tenants is par for the course. Most people I know who used to have rentals relinquished them for exactly that reason. But most people I know do not have rentals at all because they know how difficult they are to manage.

I'm sorry........ you probably didn't want to hear any of that.

Maybe I didn’t, but it does not bother me because I know who I am and what my problems are and what to do about them. I have already cleared things up with this prospective tenant by setting a firm boundary, so this will probably turn into a successful tenancy that could bring me some stability for many years to come. Sometimes suffering is necessary to achieve a goal.

 

[Trailblazer]

If she hasn't paid you for any service then I think that would qualify for a 3-day notice to pay or quit.

But still, you should have a written contract signed and, especially, the deposit funded before moving forward.

One attorney who told me that was incorrect. Since she has not paid me anything, she is considered a squatter so the legal procedure would be more complicated. Then I read about a new bill that passed in 2017 wherein squatters can be removed by law enforcement with no legal proceedings. Technically she is not a squatter though because I gave her permission to enter the house before the rental period began.

She has now told me she wants to give me the security deposit so I am going to collect that but I told her I will not give her a rental contract until she pays the rent for the second half of April.

Others are noting that this might not be worth all the troubles if you do not want to deal with it.

If I am stressed or discouraged over the rental houses it is only temporary during the process of getting a new tenant or when they are moving out, so the problems I have with the rental houses is periodic. Those can be difficult times, but I get through it. So far, it has not been bad enough to make me want to sell. The previous tenant was a Level II sex offender with two offenses and he could not get a rental so I agreed to rent to him before I had completed some repairs.

He signed the lease that he accepted the house in its present condition with the understanding that the repairs would be completed as soon as I could get a roofer and a contractor. I was unable to move as fast as he wanted so I told him he could break the lease and move and I would give him his deposits back, but he did not want to move. I finally got a roofer and a contractor, and as soon as things looked like they would be completed he decided to move out and break the lease, and that is when I started to get demand letters from his attorney.

I finally got my insurance company involved and they have assigned an attorney to represent me so there is nothing more for me to do, at least not right now. I am still kind of afraid of what this tenant is capable of, but I do not think he has any real evidence of what he is claiming, although I do not know for sure. This is by far the most stressful thing that has happened to me since I have been a landlord for the last 10 years.

I would suggest the other side of the same coin concerning perspective. Being a landlord comes with various responsibilities and hardship, some of which are having to deal with untrustworthy tenants. I've had multiple situations with bad tenants and even had to involve the police in various cases. It's just part of the job. It's worth more to me as I'm still profitable.
Good luck.

You have more rentals so that increases the chances of problems. I never had to involve the police and I never had any tenant do any damage to the properties. The main problem I have had is nonpayment of rent or late rent. I have also has tenants leave their junk behind. I finally paid $1200 to have a handyman remove all the junk from the property, and that was a deal becausethe Got Junk Company wanted three times that much...

 

[Trailblazer]

It's certainly within your rights.

For me I would stay polite, but firm on the matter. Spell out things for her on paper and if she doesn't agree , then inform her there's obviously no recourse but to look somewhere else more suitable for her arrangements and expectations.

Yes, that is what I did in e-mails, I spelled it out. I was polite but firm. I think she has the message now. I know she really wants to stay in the house, and that was one reason I wanted to rent to her and not someone who is wishy-washy about the house, because my experience has shown me that when people like the house and property a lot, they stay a long time. That is my goal, a really long-term tenant. It is worth some struggling at the front end to achieve that.

 

[oldbadger]

I do not believe that is true at all. Our enemies could not care less about us. Good friends listen and they might give us advice but they do not criticize us,they treat us with kindness and compassion. They do not assume they know more about us than we know about ourselves.

You need to separate 'enemies' from 'good enemies'.

I have more problems than you know about. I have bigger problems with the house I live in than I have with the rental houses, and they cannot be magically fixed just because I have the money. Moreover, I do not have the same kind of relationship with my husband as you have with your wife. That is just how it is and I am not getting divorced and looking for another man just because I might be happier on a superficial level. That is not in accordance with my Baha’i beliefs and besides, I would consider it selfish.

Spiritual happiness is really all that matters to me and I have that all the time. That is something nobody can take away from me. Material happiness is transitory, it will vanish. But I still have to live in the material world, and that is the source of ALL my unhappiness.

So what if it is? Is there something immoral about Capital Gains?

]I am not depressed, but if I am stressed or discouraged it is only temporary and it is not only over the rental houses.

I was only focusing upon your Nightmare situation over rental houses.

................. Personal happiness is not my life goal, service to God and the Baha’i Faith is what makes me truly happy. ..................... happiness is not about how much money and assets people have.

And so that means I have no reason to ever be stressed, just because I have money? Do you even know the statistics on happiness of poor people vs. rich people? I’ll bet more rich people commit suicide. What do you think I am going to do with my money when I cannot even get my husband to go anywhere or do anything because he only feels secure at home, find myself a traveling companion?

Maybe I didn’t, but it does not bother me because I know who I am and what my problems are and what to do about them. I have already cleared things up with this prospective tenant by setting a firm boundary, so this will probably turn into a successful tenancy that could bring me some stability for many years to come. Sometimes suffering is necessary to achieve a goal.

May all your troubles end.
May all your nightmares dissipate.
May you find peace and harmony all around you.