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Reminded of the good, forgetting the bad...

Discussion in 'Journals' started by SigurdReginson, Feb 25, 2021.

  1. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    I find myself in a bit of a mood tonight. My room mate is playing this video game in the living room called Spiritfarer, and the game is just gorgeous. It's a very chill game that's bright and colorful, and it honestly looks like it'd be fun to play. The main character, though... She reminds me of my ex gf.

    I haven't talked to her in about 4 months after I left my living situation with her. It's all been for the best, as I've been able to start taking care of myself for once. But... I do miss her a lot. She was my best friend for 7 years, and cutting her out of my life completely has left a hole in my heart. With time, the hole has healed a lot, but it hasn't healed up completely yet.

    When I see this video game character, I'm reminded of all the good times we shared. I'm reminded of her artistic creativity, her careless nature, and the good times we shared (especially in the beginning, before the negative side revealed itself). Of course, I'm conveniently forgetting all the rest of my time with her where she would manipulate my emotions, make me feel constantly guilty, and isolate me from my friends and family. It sure is something how the mind conveniently forgets negative parts and only leaves you longing for the good memories?

    Still, what's done is done, and it can never be undone. I wouldn't be surprised if I never saw her again. The idea of that makes me sad... She understood me on a level that I don't think anyone ever will.

    I sometimes forget how much my life has changed in such a short amount of time.
     
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  2. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Well-Known Member
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    Sometimes its like that.

    Its easy to remember only the good, once the overall storm has passed. And while you're living it, its easy to see only the bad(not to say one should stay in a nasty situation).

    It is hard, though. You share so much of yourself with a person, its almost like you give a little piece of yourself to them. And when they leave(or you leave), they keep that piece with them...

    Change is always a challenge... even positive change. Most of us are creatures of habit, and we get used to something being a certain way. Eventually, though, we tend to form new habits, and we settle into a new pattern.

    It does sound like you're in a better spot overall, though. I hope your life continues to turn out for the positive, and you keep healing(even if it takes awhile). :)
     
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  3. SigurdReginson

    SigurdReginson Well-Known Member
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    That's the truth tright there!

    Thank you! I definitely have been healing, and healing fast. I think removing myself from that situation did much to start me down that path. I think that's one major thing I learned about myself, there.

    In the past I've always just suffered and stayed when the going got tough. I thought I was doing the right thing in sticking around for the sake of other people who I thought needed me. In reality, I was helping to perpetuate unhealthy behaviors in myself and others. I guess that's the thing about self delusion; it's easy to fall victum to it's sway until you step out and look at that situation from the outside. When someone tries to keep you from doing that, they don't have your best interest at heart.

    Lesson learned. :D
     
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