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Featured Religious involvement in marriage

Discussion in 'General Religious Debates' started by idea, Nov 11, 2018.

?
  1. I love God more than my spouse.

  2. I love my spouse more than God.

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  1. idea

    idea Well-Known Member

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    In your religious faith, does your religious organization require obedience/vows/commitment to the organization as part of its marriage vows? - ie - you are not allowed to just make a commitment to a person, you have to commit to the religious organization? The organization forces itself between you and your spouse?

    For those of you who put God first - it seems like you would not have as close of a relationship with your spouse...


    I was married in the Mormon church, have now left the church, and am feeling horrible about my marriage vows:
    Mormon Temple Marriage Ceremony

    Mormons do not include " forsaking all others" as part of their vows - the vows is to the "new and everlasting - polygamous - covenant", so there is no loyalty to your spouse, no vow of commitment to any single person, it is nothing more than a commitment to an organization which is sickening.

    I am navigating a mixed-faith relationship (I have left the church, spouse has not) - anyone else out there in a mixed-faith marriage? Do you feel your religious organization comes between family members, forces itself between people - holds itself to be more important than human-to-human real relationships?

    What should a marriage vow be?
     
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  2. Altfish

    Altfish Well-Known Member

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    As an atheist, I am not required to any obedience/vows/commitment to any organization as part of our marriage vows?
     
  3. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium सच्चितानन्द
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    I cannot participate in your poll as presented. I think your question has more to do with how one loves God and spouse rather than who one loves more.

    I do not belong to any religious organization, and I seriously question the intent and validity of one that forces themselves between people and holds itself more important than, or at the expense of, interpersonal relationships.

    Marriage vows, IMO, should include duties and virtues to one's spouse for as long as the love that brought the two together to join as one shall last.
     
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  4. WalterTrull

    WalterTrull Godfella

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    No wonder there are so many atheists.
     
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  5. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    This is an unfair question to ask. If you love God more than your spouse you should be a priest/nun/monk.
     
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  6. idea

    idea Well-Known Member

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    So you actually marry, and commit to a person - beautiful. Do you have any examples of marriage vows that are used between atheists?
     
  7. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    My parents were lifelong marriage partners. I have never been married. Originally reproduction I think has been very important because of a high death rate. Its less important now, but marriage is ostensibly for the purpose of having well trained and happy children who become socially fit adults. It is secondly a very intensive and difficult relationship situation, and so there are techniques people have developed to make it work. It is thirdly to handle the issue of retirement and old age. Fourthly it counters the tendency of dictators to mate with all of the females. People used to believe in breeding, and marriage acts a counter to stupid breeding programs. Marriage acts as a check to make sure there is not a lot of inbreeding. Marriage helps prevent the spread of STD's. Marriage connects disparate groups as when it is part of a treaty. Two men who cannot get along may have children that can.
     
  8. idea

    idea Well-Known Member

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    I agree - it would be unfair to the person you marry if, in your heart, your faith is more important than your spouse.
     
  9. Altfish

    Altfish Well-Known Member

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    1. I, (name), take you, (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, keeping myself only unto you until we are parted by death.
    2. I give to you everything I am and everything I will ever be. I value our friendship beyond measure. I promise to share your dreams and help you achieve your goals. I will never stand behind you or in front of you but always beside you. I will listen to you with an open heart and an open mind pledging my honesty, compassion, fidelity and forgiveness. I promise to love you no matter what tomorrow brings. I will always be your most loyal friend and your loving husband/wife because you are my heart and my soul now and forever.
    3. Today I marry my best friend, the one I will live with, dream with, and love. I, (name), take you to be my husband/wife/partner. From this day forward I will cherish you, looking with joy down the path of our tomorrows knowing we will walk it together side by side, hand in hand and heart to heart.
    Your Guide to Humanist Wedding Vows
     
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  10. idea

    idea Well-Known Member

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    Yes, there are the utilitarian purposes of marriage. We are also social creatures, appreciate community and connectedness - there are many different ways to raise children, support the elderly, prevent STD's that do not involve marriage - I think at its core the point of marriage should be the more romantic, rather than utilitarian view.
     
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  11. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    I just think it’s a different type of love. I lust for my wife I don’t lust for an incorporeal deity.
     
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  12. idea

    idea Well-Known Member

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    Love this - just one criticism - and that is the "lawfully" part. Just as I do not believe God should be the controlling authority on any relationship, I do not believe any law or government system should be the defining authority on any relationship - let it be between two people, defined by those two people, with no meddling middle-man about it.

    Thanks for sharing!
     
  13. idea

    idea Well-Known Member

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    and when you are old, grey, and wrinkled... be honest, lust is for the young.... if it is something to last, emotional intimacy is needed, not just lust...

    so if you pray to God - pour your heart out to God - ask God for help - thank God for things - do you have the same conversations with your spouse? Do you think it would be a beautiful thing to talk with your spouse as you talk to God? revere your spouse, and be revered by them - as you do with God?
     
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  14. idea

    idea Well-Known Member

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  15. Altfish

    Altfish Well-Known Member

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    The law bit comes in because there are governmental costs/benefits to being married.
     
  16. Sunstone

    Sunstone De Diablo Del Fora
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    I would be as reluctant to marry someone who loved their god more than me as I would be to marry someone who loved another man more than me, and for pretty much the same reasons.
     
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  17. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    The relationship is almost always rocky. Little things start to bother people or someone fears a betrayal. Its not always romantic. Rather it should hopefully start out and end romantically, but its almost never pleasant all of the time. Plus as you age you get uglier not prettier. By romance I guess you refer to the long term relationship that becomes possible and the connection that can develop.
     
  18. Elliott5779

    Elliott5779 Member

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    Respect for both G-d and spouse is very important in Jewish faith. By respecting ones spouse one is automatically respecting G-d. The more you and your spouse respect each other in accordance with Jewish law, the more respect there is between you and your spouse and you and G-d. If you respect your spouse anyways, putting jewish law aside, this too is very special to G-d.
     
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  19. columbus

    columbus Conservative Catholic from Hell

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    This is really the point.

    It's unfortunate that the English language is so weak with regard to the concept of love.
    I love my mom.
    I love my partner.
    I love art.
    I love cheeseburgers.
    I love freedom.

    The word "love" means very different things in all of those sentences.

    Tom
     
  20. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    God is my Creator. The designer of who I am and my conversation is on the basis of creation to creator. I ask for things that are beyond the capabilities of a human’s ability and at the same time ask for things I feel I cannot attain that is common to humans. I cannot have that conversation with the average person. My wife or whoever is not my creator nor is she the creator of the universe, because like I said, it’s an entirely different conversation.
     
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