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Recalling your Crushes

Discussion in 'The Social World' started by Daemon Sophic, May 12, 2022.

  1. metis

    metis aged ecumenical anthropologist

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    In 1st grade, it was Carol.

    In high school 11-12th, it was Donna.

    In my sophomore year of college and then again in my senior year there, it was Cynthia, and she changed my life ever since even though we didn't end up together.

    And also, in my senior year of college, it was Giuseppa, and we've been married now for 55 years, thus I ended up with the right woman.
     
  2. exchemist

    exchemist Veteran Member

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    I've often wondered about the one love thing. There have been girls I was utterly besotted with (Bridget broke my heart: she was right to say no, though it took me years to realise it) and others who I really just initially fancied going out with. But I honestly think ended up I loving all of them, with maybe one exception.

    Recalling the crushes doesn't bother me - except that, as I look back, I think perhaps Lucy would have liked to go out with me and I blew the chance by not realising.
     
  3. Rival

    Rival Veteran Member
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    By one love I just mean, one person I actually have a meaningful, intimate, intellectual and emotional connexion to. My crushes were just people I wanted to sleep with. I didn't mean it in the sense of 'you only ever have one true love', I meant I experience more than a fleeting attraction/infatuation that is generally symptomatic of a crush.
     
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  4. exchemist

    exchemist Veteran Member

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    OK I understand, I think.

    But it's interesting that you think of crushes as people you want to sleep with, because to me a crush isn't really about that. I've found numerous women I've met cause a stirring in my loins, but I'd never consider that a crush. I think of a crush as a semi-obsessive emotional feeling: the sort of thing that makes you dry-mouthed, tongue-tied and shaky when the person walks into the same room. When Lucy and I did physics practicals together at school, sometimes she would stand really close to me to take a measurement or something - and I could hardly breathe. Very much something belonging to the intensity of experience of adolescence.
     
  5. Rival

    Rival Veteran Member
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    Yeah, that's a crush, but I've had maaaany and they never meant anything in the long run. Nothing like a really meaningful feeling, just a hormonal rush, essentially.
     
  6. exchemist

    exchemist Veteran Member

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    Gosh you reply fast!

    I'm not sure I'm describing a hormonal rush. I think it's more in the head than that. But sure, often it goes nowhere and passes after a few months. I need to think about it more, probably. But the Urban Dictionary captures something of what I am getting at: Urban Dictionary: Crush

    A person who gives you butterflies and makes your heart beat faster. A person that you can’t describe in a word, but multiple words. A person you can’t get off your mind.

    A secret burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special, with whom there's low or no chances at all of being a couple.
     
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  7. Rival

    Rival Veteran Member
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    Yup.

    Just an infatuation. A wonderful but in the long run rather meaningless attraction.
     
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  8. Thirza Fallen

    Thirza Fallen Crazy Cat Lady

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    When I was a kid, I mostly had crushes on adults. i.e., my dad's work friends, teachers or celebrities. In 7th grade, my crush was Danny. He was really smart and he would carry my books, but no one ever said anything about liking each other. In 8th grade, it was Pat, and my friend told him that I liked him and his response was, "So what do I get, a Brownie button?" That's great for the self-esteem. In high school, I had crushes on some of the jocks, like Dave (basketball) and Joe and Jim (football). The last day of school for Dave, I had my friend pretend she was taking a picture of me but she was really taking a picture of him. Slick, eh? These guys were older and way out of my league. Why do we idolize jocks anyway? Are they smart or nice? Who knows. Do they have to be? No. Nerds are better. Danny, if you read this, you're awesome!
     
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  9. exchemist

    exchemist Veteran Member

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    Sounds as you you blew your chance with Danny, then. Like me with Lucy. I'm sure we've all got memories of the "ones that got away".
     
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  10. Thirza Fallen

    Thirza Fallen Crazy Cat Lady

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    Well, I have been married to my new nerd for almost 32 years, so Danny just helped show me how wonderful they are and I thank him for that.
     
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