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Quotes from the perfect man

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Geoff-Allen, Mar 27, 2020.

  1. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Sep 9, 2014
    Hope you are all well.

    Cannot recall where I found these quotes - somewhere in cyberspace ...

    "I was just thinking about you and got you these roses"

    "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal"

    "Here, honey, let's read the instructions together"

    "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"

    "Do you want me to pick you up some tampons while I'm out?"

    "I think you should buy the biggest vibrator in the store"

    "While I'm up, may I get anything for you?"

    "I was wrong . . . you were right. I'm sorry I argued."

    "Her breasts are just too big!"

    "Sometimes I just want to be held"

    "Why, I would LOVE to wear a condom!"

    "We haven't been to the mall in ages. Let's go shopping so I can hold your purse!"

    "Forget Monday Night Football, let's watch Ally McBeal"

    "I think we're lost. Let's pull over and ask for directions"

    "Men do drive and communicate poorly! That jerk didn't use his blinker!"

    "I'm really sick, but fear not, I can fend for myself"

    "Here's the remote honey ... find something heartwarming"

    "Wow, I just don't know what to do with this money we won in the lottery, so why don't you take it to the mall
    and see if you can find something to buy with it"

    "What luck, they had a special rental rate at the video store on romance movies"

    "How about I give you a nice massage and foot rub. I really don't like sex that much anyway"

    "You know, that Pamela Anderson just doesn't seem to have the brain power that I find so attractive in a woman"

    "What a break, I won a prize on the radio station ... tickets to either the super bowl or the opening of the New York Ballet. I got first choice so pack your bags for New York, we get to go to the ballet!"

    "Who wants to play golf when I can get to see how good the lawn looks when it's freshly mowed"

    "Have another piece of cake, dear. Your *** is just too small!"

    "Let's just concentrate on your pleasure tonight, darling."

    "I just don't see what the big deal over Heather Locklear is."

    "You look so hot in that old t-shirt nightie!"

    Enjoy your day!
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  2. dfnj

    dfnj Well-Known Member

    Dec 13, 2017
    My Own
    Sounds like you have a great husband!
  3. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
    Premium Member

    Mar 3, 2017
    Last the most perfect comment

    "Yes, of course"
    #3 ChristineM, Mar 28, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2020
  4. RedDragon94

    RedDragon94 Love everyone, meditate often

    Nov 28, 2014
    You know, I'm young and not married, but a few of those resonate with me.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Sep 9, 2014
    You are right as always, Christine!

    • Friendly Friendly x 1