1. Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Question to my self....

Discussion in 'Journals' started by Amanaki, Apr 3, 2020.

  1. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    WHAT THE **** am i doing with my life :confused:

    Me.
    Depression = 90%
    Blood pressure = WAY to high
    Colestrol = :confused: that high ?
    PTSD = Holy crap, spinning out of control
    Frustration = You bet....
    exhausted = 100%
    Friendliness = beginning to slip.....But still friendly when not pushed.....
    Thoughts about my self = You really do not want to know :noentry:
    Want to kill my self? = Tried it before and it hurt too much, so no killing :p
     
    #1 Amanaki, Apr 3, 2020
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2020
    • Friendly Friendly x 4
  2. MNoBody

    MNoBody Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2020
    Messages:
    1,061
    Ratings:
    +528
    Religion:
    UNdecided [they all appear to be equally true]
    this came to mind
    be well.
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  3. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    Thank you :) I really like this song when i listen to it now :)
    I did put the OP in Joke section to not scare anyone who might read it, But it is a lot of truth in the OP, it's not a joke to live a life where everything is a struggle.
    This forum used to be a free area for me to let the "real world" be as it is, but lately, there have been building tension within the forum too. so at the moment, my mind does not get any rest. And I don't like being a reason for other's misery.
     
    • Useful Useful x 1
  4. KAT-KAT

    KAT-KAT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2019
    Messages:
    7,053
    Ratings:
    +4,910
    Religion:
    Hinduism with some New Age
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  5. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man Bompu Zen Man with a little bit of Bushido.

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
    Messages:
    27,429
    Ratings:
    +10,712
    Religion:
    Zen Buddhism
    That means you're just a typical smo Joe.

    Smile a bit and remember misery loves company!
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  6. shunyadragon

    shunyadragon shunyadragon
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2017
    Messages:
    14,216
    Ratings:
    +6,594
    Religion:
    Baha'i Faith
    One positive step at a time, and focus of changing your lifestyle concerning positive attitude, diet and exercise.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  7. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    Thank you KAT-KAT
    :hugehug:
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  8. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    The strange thing is that i do still smile :) only those who know me well would ever see that i am struggling, but you know :) I never giving up, and sometimes the struggle can make us stronger later on
     
  9. shunyadragon

    shunyadragon shunyadragon
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2017
    Messages:
    14,216
    Ratings:
    +6,594
    Religion:
    Baha'i Faith
    I believe walks in the park or nature are helpful.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  10. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    Yes, I try to go for a walk every day now, especially because of the corona situation and how much time I spend in the room I have now. And when getting back from the walk, my mind does feel better :)
     
  11. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2014
    Messages:
    46,088
    Ratings:
    +19,019
    Religion:
    Love
    One of my "go to" images is from a short chapter in the novel "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden". Maybe it will be a useful image to you as well.

    Her dream began with winter darkness. Out of this darkness came a great hand, fisted. It was a man's hand, powerful and hollowed by the shadows of the wells between bones and tendons. The fist opened and in the long plain of the palm lay three pieces of coal. Slowly the hand closed causing within the fist a tremendous pressure. The pressure began to generate a white heat and still it increased. There was a sense of weighing, crushing time. She seemed to feel the suffering of the coal with her own body, almost beyond the point of being born. At least she cried out to the hand "Stop it! Will you never end it! Even a stone cannot bear to this limit... even a stone...!"

    After what seemed like too long a time for anything molecular to endure, the torments in the fist relaxed. The fist turned slowly and very slowly opened.

    Diamonds. Three of them.

    Three clear and brilliant diamonds shot with light, lay in the good palm. A deep voice called to her, "Deborah." And then, gently, "Deborah, this will be you."
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  12. Nakosis

    Nakosis crystal soldier
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2011
    Messages:
    14,735
    Ratings:
    +6,051
    Religion:
    Atheist Libertarian
    Well I can tell you what I did in that situation though I can't really recommend it.

    I was a teenager and homeless. Had no hope of a future. So what I did was an act of desperation. I gave my life to God. I put my life in God's hands.

    Very interesting thing happened. Suddenly, I felt a very comforting presence and all my burdens were lifted.

    I suppose it allowed me to let go of the responsibilities of making the right decisions. All that was left for me to do was to continue to live and accept that whatever life threw at me was God's will. It allowed me to let go of the fear of tomorrow. I don't know your state of mind but it seems fear is a great burden that weighs us down.

    Are you afraid? So it's not about stop trying, ie killing yourself. It's about not being afraid of dealing with whatever life throws at you. Tomorrow will bring pain and perhaps even death for me but I'm not afraid of these things. Allows me to experience each moment for what it is without fear.

    At this moment I'm alive and I can experience life. That makes me happy. Tomorrow I may die but for now, I'm happy.

    There are lots of things I find to be happy about. Even if it's as simple as feeling the sun on my face. Maybe being afraid would cause me to miss out on that.
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  13. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    I am not afraid :) But I feel out of energy, out of life force.
    I think it is called being drained of everything that used to be positive. But i know there is light in the tunnel soon :) So no i am not going to end it :) As i said in the OP i tried that before and it hurt to much do go through those things again, so not an option.
    But i am thinking of using this easter to regain my energy, to stay offline more then i used to do. And be a little egoistic and think more about my self :)
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  14. leov

    leov Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2019
    Messages:
    3,509
    Ratings:
    +844
    Religion:
    Gnostic Christian
    Perfect! Ready to join Army!
     
  15. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    I am a pacifist so no army for me or any other branch of military :)
     
  16. BSM1

    BSM1 What? Me worry?

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2012
    Messages:
    18,512
    Ratings:
    +8,732
    Religion:
    Buddhistic Panenthetic Jesusonian

    But on the bright side, it's Friday....
     
  17. leov

    leov Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2019
    Messages:
    3,509
    Ratings:
    +844
    Religion:
    Gnostic Christian
    "Friendliness = beginning to slip..." Things change to the better!
     
  18. leov

    leov Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2019
    Messages:
    3,509
    Ratings:
    +844
    Religion:
    Gnostic Christian
    Suddenly felt a small light bulb coming on regarding you;
    Check out these people , Norge is listed...https://www.valentiniangnosis.org/
     
  19. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    And soon easter to much more time to be home and have fun :) oh wait I am already at home :D
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  20. Amanaki

    Amanaki Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2018
    Messages:
    8,549
    Ratings:
    +5,110
    Religion:
    Falun Gong (Cultivation path)
    It will :) just have a ruff time lately
     
Loading...