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Question for the polyamorous

Discussion in 'Other Religious Movements and Practices DIR' started by Manoah, Jan 21, 2019.

  1. Manoah

    Manoah Member

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    I just watched a YouTube video posted by someone who works with magick, archetypes, and personified deity and who is very much in love with a partner in an open relationship. She identifies as "polyamorous."

    The question came to me as to whether anything would constitute being unethical in these types of relationships--breaking promises, not giving care and attention, or dishonesty, I suppose? Does anyone with experience know if there are typical issues among polyamorous relationships?

    Just curious. Thanks for any insight!
     
  2. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    Each polyamorous relationship makes its own set of agreements. Going against those agreements is considered unethical. But each relationship is different as to what is in those agreements.

    For example, there are usually agreements concerning safety: with whom should you use barrier protection? There are often agreements concerning how often and where to meet various partners. There may be agreements about birthdays and holidays.

    In almost all poly relationships, dishonesty is considered highly unethical, although some have a don't ask/don't tell policy. And yes, breaking promises is also highly unethical. The point is that there are different promises than most people make. It is still a violation of trust to go against and agreement.

    As for qualifications: I identify as poly and currently have two partners. Both of my partners also have other partners.
     
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  3. Manoah

    Manoah Member

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    Thanks for explaining, Polymath257. This makes perfect sense, that "there are different promises than most people make" and that trust can still be violated. It sounds like kindness and forgiveness, ethics and justice still come into play.
     
  4. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    Very much so. There is a lot more emphasis on communication and being respectful of one another.

    There is also an umbrella term: ethical non-monogamy. This encompasses polyamory (where the emphasis is on loving other partners) and swinging (where the emphasis is more on the sexual aspect). In all cases, abiding by agreements is central to the ethical aspect.
     
  5. Manoah

    Manoah Member

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    Here's a thoughtful response from Ray, a member who can't post in this section:

    Yes there are some things are consider unethical. It depends on the relationship as to what the boundaries are. Polyamory is not the same as cheating. It is where more then 2 people are in a romantic relationship with the consent and knowledge of all involved. Sometimes it's one person dating 2 different people who aren't dating each other or all 3(or more) people are dating each other.See here: https://atouchofflavor.com/polyamory/what-the-heck-is-polyamory-part-3-how-structures
    If you break that rule in any polyamorous relationship then it's cheating not polyamory. There has to be consent between all people involve to be in the relationship. You would not ethically lie in these relationships anymore then you would in a regular relationship. There are boundaries like in all relationships and it would not be ethical to cross known boundaries without asking or discussing it. It would be a bad idea not to talk about jealous if it arises. That could possibly destroy the relationships. You would need to be as open and as honest with each other as possible. Communication as with any relationship is key. You would have to discuss emotional needs with each other. Every polyamorous or any ethical non-monogamous relationship is different. I would be ok in an open relationship where my romantic partner goes outside the relationship for sex because I'm asexual and if they decided that they wanted to be in a polyamorous relationship and the person they are with is ok with it then I would definitively consider it. But that's just me. Any other questions?And did i answer your question properly?
     
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  6. RayofLight

    RayofLight They/Them

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    Hee hee I can post here now cuz my beliefs have changed. No longer a quaker
     
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