That's all good as it is your journey. I see there is no time when God does not guide us, I see life unfolds with all the choices constantly in front of us. God knows our end and our choices, so to find God we have to meditate on each choice we make and a lot of the time the right path springs into mind, but we ignore it because it may be too hard.
You may be interested in the 5 dynamics of prayer, to me this tells us all about our self and what we do with the choices we face;
"Use these five steps if we have a problem of any kind for which we desire a solution, or wish help.
- Pray and meditate about it. Use the prayers of the Manifestations, as they have the greatest power. Learn to remain in the silence of contemplation for a few moments. During this deepest communion take the next step.
- Arrive at a decision and hold to this. This decision is usually born in a flash at the close or during the contemplation. It may seem almost impossible of accomplishment, but if it seems to be an answer to prayer or a way of solving the problem, then immediately take the next step.
- Have determination to carry the decision through. Many fail here. The decision, budding into determination, is blighted and instead becomes a wish or a vague longing. When determination is born, immediately take the next step.
- Have faith and confidence, that the Power of the Holy Spirit will flow through you, the right way will appear, the door will open, the right message, the right principle or the right book will be given to you. Have confidence, and the right thing will come to meet your need. Then as you rise from prayer take immediately the fifth step.
- Act as though it had all been answered. Then act with tireless, ceaseless energy. And, as you act, you yourself will become a magnet which will attract more power to your being, until you become an unobstructed channel for the Divine Power to flow through you.
There is also another piece of advice that you may find interesting;
"Abdul'baha has said
"...guidance was when the doors opened after we tried. We can pray, ask to do God's will only, try hard, and then if we find our plan is not working out, assume it is not the right one, at least for the moment."
All the best and may you and your family always be well and happy.
Regards Tony