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Prologue of my novel

Druidus

Keeper of the Grove
This is the prologue of a novel I'm writing. I'd just like to get everyone's take on it. Give me praise, criticism, ideas, whatever! Also, please note, that I have temporarily named the main character "Psi" as it is the greek letter for "unknown", as I have no idea what to name him. The word "psi" is used in other places as well in the novel, but not in reference to him.

Prologue

Entering his room, Psi’s first thought was that he should clean up. Looking around, he saw that he had forgotten to clean his room that morning, unfortunately, a common oversight. He knew he would get hell if he didn’t clean it, so he set to work, cleaning the dirty clothes first, and then the garbage, and finally, making his bed.

After scoring two points with the coke can, he sat at his computer and turned it on. Or tried to, at least. It wouldn’t start. He checked to see that it was plugged in, which it was. Figuring it must be a power outage, he flipped the light switch. “Damn, now I can’t even play a game!” He thought, as he stared glumly at the screen.

It didn’t really matter that his room had been dirty. It didn’t really matter at all. Soon, very little would matter. A war had started. The initiator is unknown, even to this day, but the target was the United States. Their plan was, at a glance, to launch micro EMPs into the atmosphere above the U.S.A, and let them float down, finally activating and shutting out all electrical devices. They would be sending out several loads, at regular intervals, as EMPs don’t last long. With all of the enemies electricity gone, they could wipe them out handily.

The fatal mistake they made, however, was to not anticipate the wind. The EMPs now blanketed the world. Only a few, scattered areas still had electrical systems working. The loss of electricity wouldn’t last very long, at most 18 hours, but it was long enough. Long enough for the Dugaari.

The Dugaari are a race of aliens, which had never developed technology, in the sense that we had. They preferred to use their body's innate abilities. Every neural cell within a creature produces an amount of energy, called “Psi”. All creatures that produce it, and have sufficient neural capacity, can use it.

The Dugaari had developed this instead of our technology. In fact, they had gotten to our planet through a series of teleportations, utilizing psi. They had watched us, and waited for the precise time to act, and it had come. Now, they attacked.

Sparing little, they fell upon the humans in waves, using telepathic blasts to confuse the humans, and then using other psi abilities, or just descending upon them and destroying them physically.

Despite the fact that they had developed their mental abilities so far, they hadn’t lost much physically. Standing on average 8” tall, with an impressive muscular build, they could demoralize troops easily in their charges alone. Coupled with their telepathic blasts, the humans fell like flies.

Over night, we went from a population of almost seven billion, to little more then a million. The only places we survived in were the places we had electricity, and even then, it was only a matter of time before we couldn’t hold out anymore.

We had gotten communication back, in time to hear the last words of soldiers around the world. We heard their screams, as they tried to warn the last of us.

All of our petty differences, gone now. All of our great cities, and monuments, gone now.
 

Mister Emu

Emu Extraordinaire
Staff member
Premium Member
Looks good, and thank you, this reminded me that I need to finish my book :)
 

Rex

Founder
Post the finished versions in the Article system we have. Go up to the Navbar and click resources
 
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