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Progressive Church Allows Anyone To Interrupt Sermon With A Point Of Personal Privilege

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Landon Caeli, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Landon Caeli

    Landon Caeli Banned

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    article-4708-2.jpg

    PEACEVILLE, AR—Reverend Karen Wokestein wanted her church services at Peaceville United Methodist to be affirming of people of all races, genders, orientations, faiths, and sins. So, she got an idea after watching some footage of a recent Democratic Socialists of America event: she would allow church members to interrupt the proceedings at any time with their point of personal privilege.

    "POINT OF PERSONAL PRIVILEGE: CAN WE PLEASE STOP MENTIONING THE GOSPEL? IT IS VERY TRIGGERING TO SOME OF US WITH AFFINITIES FOR SINFUL LIFESTYLES!" one man with bad hygiene suddenly shouted in the middle of the sermon this past Sunday. Wokestein assured him she had not mentioned the gospel per se, but just used the word gospel to refer to a book in the Bible.

    Another man then piped up: "POINT OF PERSONAL PRIVILEGE: CAN WE PLEASE NOT SAY THE WORD 'BIBLE' IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, UNLESS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HOW BAD IT IS?" This particular interruption was applauded with jazz hands.

    Progressive Church Allows Anyone To Interrupt Sermon With A Point Of Personal Privilege
     
  2. Landon Caeli

    Landon Caeli Banned

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    ...Jazz hands. :D

     
  3. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Rival's Wife

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    Pretty lame for satire, imo. Need more of an onion and landover Baptist church flair.
     
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  4. Guitar's Cry

    Guitar's Cry Verisimilitudinous

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    Pastor sounds pretty woke.
     
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  5. MikeDwight

    MikeDwight Well-Known Member

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    When I buy all the PCUSA churches in town we're gonna take the rainbow church and the castle church and its gonna be rainbow castle. [​IMG]
     
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  6. Landon Caeli

    Landon Caeli Banned

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    Can we still do Jazz hands at the rainbow castle? All I care about is doing jazz hands.
     
  7. MikeDwight

    MikeDwight Well-Known Member

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    All rise, please pull out your flute recorders.



    Jazz hands....
     
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  8. MikeDwight

    MikeDwight Well-Known Member

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  9. Landon Caeli

    Landon Caeli Banned

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  10. Stevicus

    Stevicus Veteran Member
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    I'm presuming this is satire. I've never heard of the Babylon Bee, though.

    Ever since SNL started up with "Weekend Update," everyone and his uncle seems to want to jump on the news satire bandwagon. I liked Not Necessarily The News when it was on. If it's done well, it can be hilarious, but if not, it can fall flat.
     
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  11. columbus

    columbus Conservative Catholic from Hell

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    I love the name "Wokestein".

    Maybe, after 20 years, Columbus has run his course. Maybe it's time to be Born Again as Wokestein.

    Maybe not. I'd hate to inconvenience all the members who have me on <ignore>.
    Tom
     
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  12. Shad

    Shad Veteran Member

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    The Woke Reformation.
     
  13. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Veteran Member
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    I must have no sense of humor, or I'm tired from doing some outdoor work. My inner child needs a nap. Why am I not laughing? Chuckle. Chuckle. There, I laughed. Nobody can say I didn't laugh.
     
  14. Duke_Leto

    Duke_Leto Active Member

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    Considering how stupid that DSA meeting was and how much opportunity there was to ridicule it, I’m confused why your choice of satire you share with us sucks so much.

    I’m guessing conservatives don’t do humor. FYI, the point of satire is to cleverly balance absurdity and a resemblance to reality. The author of your piece has pushed the metaphorical acrobat off the ledge, screaming “”Progressive” Christians are faithless sellouts!”
     
    #14 Duke_Leto, Sep 19, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
  15. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Rival's Wife

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    Landover Baptist Church demonstrates that, unfortunately, "resemblance to reality" can be stretched really fast into absurdity.
     
  16. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man Bompu Zen Man with a little bit of Bushido.

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