Possessiveness

[Meow Mix]

Lately some of the ads on my side of RF are some pretty sundresses, but also a shirt that says "I LOVE MY WIFE," presumably to be a really gauche gift to a partner. Got me to thinking of this really cringey shirt I saw posted somewhere.

I feel like there's just something awful and cringey about these sorts of "gifts." The implication seems to me like the partner is being possessive, encouraging their partner to wear such a shirt on their way out to lay claim over them, etc.

Am I the only one that finds this cringe and gross? Posted here because it's toxic behavior in my book, albeit apparently shared by any sex.

 

[Debater Slayer]

I think whether or not gifting one's partner such a T-shirt is toxic depends on the kind of dynamic and arrangement of the relationship. I've seen some people who are into that kind of relationship where someone clearly has some sort of authority over the other, albeit consensually. I've also seen people who find such expressions of "ownership" arousing, so they and their partner(s) engage in those as a sort of sexual play.

I'm all for freedom of choice, so if such relationship dynamic, sexual roleplay, etc., is fully consensual and agreed upon by all involved parties (and if they can also opt out of it anytime they wish), then good for them. It's not what I'd like at all in a relationship, but that's my own preference. I'd only criticize it and call it out as toxic if it were forced/involuntary for any involved party, which is sadly the case for a lot of people.

 

[Meow Mix]

I think whether or not gifting one's partner such a T-shirt is toxic depends on the kind of dynamic and arrangement of the relationship. I've seen some people who are into that kind of relationship where someone clearly has some sort of authority over the other, albeit consensually. I've also seen people who find such expressions of "ownership" arousing, so they and their partner(s) engage in those as a sort of sexual play.

I'm all for freedom of choice, so if such relationship dynamic, sexual roleplay, etc., is fully consensual and agreed upon by all involved parties (and if they can also opt out of it anytime they wish), then good for them. It's not what I'd like at all in a relationship, but that's my own preference. I'd only criticize it and call it out as toxic if it were forced/involuntary for any involved party, which is sadly the case for a lot of people.

Yes, this is a good distinction to make, I agree. Who knows, maybe it's inventing a problem that doesn't exist. I can just imagine someone coercing or making their partner wear something like this. Maybe that's too pessimistic?

 

[Meow Mix]

Then I shall just post this wholesome meme

 

[ChristineM]

If hubby bought me something like that he'd eat it or choke.

And your second tee shirt. We have a daughter just growing into the dating age. Her first ever date is tonight and i am more a bag of nerves than she is.

It's good advice.

 

[Meow Mix]

If hubby bought me something like that he'd eat it or choke.

And your second tee shirt. We have a daughter just growing into the dating age. Her first ever date is tonight and i am more a bag of nerves than she is.

It's good advice.

Wow! Not a mom myself. Have dated some moms semi-seriously for a while. I know that's a big deal. Hope your nerves settle down and her date goes well! ^.^

 

[ChristineM]

Wow! Not a mom myself. Have dated some moms semi-seriously for a while. I know that's a big deal. Hope your nerves settle down and her date goes well! ^.^

Cheers.

 

[Secret Chief]

If hubby bought me something like that he'd eat it or choke.

And your second tee shirt. We have a daughter just growing into the dating age. Her first ever date is tonight and i am more a bag of nerves than she is.

It's good advice.

I hope her date follows the correct diet.

 

[Deidre]

Not sure I see it as a possessive per se, but more like cringe. lol Cringe for sure. If my husband wanted to start wearing matching tee shirts advertising our mad love for each other, I'd wonder how I missed the cringe factor.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

I have a difficult time with cringe humor. Often because I'm always a little suspicious of "haha this is funny and totally not serious *winkwink*" thin veils to some very real red flags. I don't doubt there are plethora of completely benign jokes couples have like this. But I've also seen a few go up in flames because the jokes weren't really jokes but sugar-coated active disinterest in the other's feelings.