Sadly, this is something I stopped pursuing a long time ago. There were a lot of reasons for that, many of them related to cultural norms and cultural pressures, but others more personal. These days I mostly just do not think about it, though it would certainly be good for my wellness on all levels to do something to address these sorts of issues.
I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I grew up today with so much more awareness regarding transsexuality, non-conformity, and all that. I might have actually had a vocabulary to properly express what I was feeling back then. And others might have actually had the vocabulary to understand and respond with something other than "shut up and deal with puberty; you can't change how you were born or control that so get over it." Instead I disassociated my identity from my corporeal self (becoming a massive nerd in the process, which ain't so bad), gave the finger to my culture which claimed I was supposed to be X when I was Z (because screw that), and am a staunch ally to all you non-conforming peeps who have way more courage than I ever have about these things. Be the awesome. And to hells with the folks who try to take you down a peg, because you're THE AWESOME.