Poem - I Miss You

[Rival]

This is just ...me

In the name of the--
No, no not that.
All praise is due to Alla-
No, not that either.
Inodj har-ek Amun,
Iiu em hotep.
Nisut notjeru, notjer a’ah.
In-un-ma’a.

Now blow out the candles,
Say goodnight and go to bed.
Then under the covers do usual,

Blessed be God, blessed be He.

For all the things He gave you for free,
The room, the clothes, the food,
And everything outside these walls.

Blessed be He indeed.

And at some point, fall asleep.
Nothing to be afraid of,
Except the window you left open-
Hoping for what kind of a visitor?

The one you used to talk to there?

Focusing, focusing, on what?
Void where a full altar once was,
And crying, crying at who?
HaShem Yitbarach! HaShem Yitbarach!
Wait!
I did not empty the altar for you,
To yell a phrase I wouldn’t regularly use!

Now wake up.

But the time comes round again,
And eating something sweet before
To hope the sleep will be the same.
But what did you say?

Surely G-d deserves some grace?

It’s fine, it’ll be fine, go to sleep.

Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam
al hamichya v… v...--
You forgot it!
‘Oh don't worry, that's only a d'rabanan...’
I know, I know, but I want to say it!
Al hamichya v….
No!
And again, and again, and keep forgetting.

And wake up once more.

Now what do you say?

 

[Rival]

This is really quite personal I guess but I wanted to share. It feels better that way.

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

This kind of writing reminds me of a notebook I used to keep back in the day to just write down any thought that came to mind when I had a lot of pent up emotions I needed to discharge.

Is it something like that?

 

[Rival]

Focusing, focusing, on what?
Void where a full altar once was,
And crying, crying at who?
HaShem Yitbarach! HaShem Yitbarach!
Wait!
I did not empty the altar for you,
To yell a phrase I wouldn’t regularly use!

Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech HaOlam
al hamichya v… v...--
You forgot it!
‘Oh don't worry, that's only a d'rabanan...’
I know, I know, but I want to say it!
Al hamichya v….
No!
And again, and again, and keep forgetting.

These two parts are dreams I'm having of worshipping HaShem again.

In the first my now full altar is empty of statues and such, and I'm saying 'HaShem, May He Be Blessed'.

In Judaism there are blessings to say after eating foods as well as before, and in my second dream I'm making an attempt to say the blessing one has to say after this particular kind of food - the food I ate before I went to sleep.

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

These two parts are dreams I'm having of worshipping HaShem again.

In the first my now full altar is empty of statues and such, and I'm saying 'HaShem, May He Be Blessed'.

In Judaism there are blessings to say after eating foods as well as before, and in my second dream I'm making an attempt to say the blessing one has to say after this particular kind of food - the food I ate before I went to sleep.

If I may ask, what do these dreams mean to you?

 

[Rival]

If I may ask, what do these dreams mean to you?

That I miss HaShem.

 

[VoidCat]

I feel you. Sometimes I miss Jesus. Now I have an altar to Lucifer. But I still miss Jesus at times. You miss your old beliefs that's natural

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

That I miss HaShem.

Do you consider HaShem to be different from the God you're worshiping as a Kemetic pagan?
Or is it the same one but worshiped according to Jewish theology and tradition?

 

[Rival]

Do you consider HaShem to be different from the God you're worshiping as a Kemetic pagan?
Or is it the same one but worshiped according to Jewish theology and tradition?

Different one.

 

[VoidCat]

I feel you. Sometimes I miss Jesus. Now I have an altar to Lucifer. But I still miss Jesus at times.

what Im trying to say it's natural to miss old beliefs. Going from one belief system to another doesn't happen overnight

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

Different one.

Does this mean that the one you are with now makes you feel the same way as Ahura Mazda did?
By the way, if I ask too many questions and seem too nosy, just ignore my posts, I can take a hint.

 

[Rival]

Does this mean that the one you are with now makes you feel the same way as Ahura Mazda did?
By the way, if I ask too many questions and seem too nosy, just ignore my posts, I can take a hint.

No, definitely closer than that. It's just odd, at the minute, really.

 

[SigurdReginson]

Your poem seems like a very personal glimpse into what's going on with you right now.

When you cut out something that's a big part of your life, you miss it... It's a struggle to try and move on, and it makes your heart ache. I feel for you.

 

[Rival]

Well, thanks for reading anyway.

I needed to have that out.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Now what do you say?

Tragic but interesting.

 

[Harel13]

I'm vaguely reminded of some Marcus Lehmann short stories for some reason. Not sure anyone here knows what I'm talking about.

 

[Rival]

I'm vaguely reminded of some Marcus Lehmann short stories for some reason. Not sure anyone here knows what I'm talking about.

Naturally I'm not aware, but it's always nice to learn stuff lol.

 

[Rival]

I'm vaguely reminded of some Marcus Lehmann short stories for some reason. Not sure anyone here knows what I'm talking about.

I just browsed the virtual shop of a guy who sells Jewish books on eBay from whom I frequently buy and he has two of this guy's books. Just reminded me of what you'd said. Not something I would have taken much notice of before.