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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Comet, Jan 22, 2009.

  1. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    I've been thinking about writing a living will again.... that isn't good. I'm trying.... sorry. I won't type anymore.... I should, but?
     
  2. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    Hey honey :D

    I don't know if you got my PM yet, but I'm home n' stuff from dinner.

    What has you so down today? :hug:
     
  3. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    I have no idea, just one of those days. I'm very ho-hum today as well, but not as bad as yesterday :)
     
  4. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    Well, I'm glad to hear it's a bit better!

    Have there been any changes in your meds recently? Like...skip one, or finish getting weaned off of another one, or something?

    Sorry it's been a rough couple of days for you!
    :hugehug:
     
  5. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    The only change to my meds is lowering the one dose of junk to get me off of it. Perhaps that has something to do with my mood swing over the past two days. Today has been good though, and I should be around tonight.
     
  6. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    Sorry I missed ya. I absolutely had to get out of the apartment or I was going to lose my mind. Went and played pool for a while with a friend.
    Argh...I wish it was easier to sign on more often...life has been getting in the way a lot lately :sarcastic
    No fun.

    Anywho, just wanted to drop by. I'm gonna check other threads real quick and then get back to studying!
    Hope you have a wonderful day :D

    :hug:
     
  7. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    I love pool! Meteor and I used to go play every Tuesday night, but we haven't done that in ages. I'll have to bug him tomorrow to go play a few games with me again. My pool stick has just been sitting in my trunk doing nothing for too long.

    So my shrink said my writing was "powerful". She thinks I should make it a point to write everyday. I told her I might start doing that as I used to, but somedays I just don't feel like it... or I don't make the time :)
     
  8. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    Muahaha! Snuck back on the computer real quick.... :cool:

    Well, when I say I "played" pool, I'm using the term rather lightly.....I'm horrible at it lol. :eek: This guy I went with was the first person that's actually been able to convince me to play out in public. He's a ton of fun. Same guy I went to the hockey game with. :D
    ...Although it can be kind of an awkward situation because he's been rather blatantly pursuing me, even though he knows I'm dating someone.... I'm not really sure how to handle it. I'm not used to guys taking an interest in me :confused: :cover:

    I think writing every day would be a good idea, but I know what you mean about not feeling like it....My mom used to try to get me to write every day, but it's just not something I'm easily able to do. Then again, you're better at it than I. :D
     
  9. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    As long as the one guy knows you aren't interested and your man is cool with you guys hanging out, no problem. If he tries anything funny, I'll fly down there, and give him a sound talking to! :slap::thud:

    I'll write more about my shrink appointment when I get home, still at work. Go study!
     
  10. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    So my shrink and I talked about much today... I'll post tomorrow when I have more time. Regardless, you'll be happy to know that I will see here at least 5 more times! She says I'm moving in the right direction still.
     
  11. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    Yeah...Argh. I just dunno. And I'm kinda freaking out about the boyfriend thing...I think he was trying to tell me he loved me today and I'm just not sure how well I'm going to deal with that :eek: :ignore: :cover:

    *sigh* I keep telling myself that THIS is why I swore I would stay single lol.

    What if I just tell you he tried something funny so you'll fly down here? :D

    I think it's good you're going to see her for a bit longer. And really good she's happy with your progress! :bounce


    Ugh...so I've been sleeping in three-hour intervals the past couple nights. Don't know what the f- is wrong with me. It's really strange. I think it's just because I'm stressing out about everything and the meds hurt and wake me up a few hours after I take them. :areyoucra

    On a lighter note, the North Texas Irish Festival is going to be in town soon! I'm really excited about it. Haven't been in ages. :D If the jewelry maker I used to work for is still there this year, I'm gonna stock up on my favorite gaudy kinds of jewelry ^_^

    Hopefully I'll see you later today hon! Have a good one!

    :hug:
     
  12. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    Ah, the big LOVE! lol That can be awkward when you don't feel the same way! Been there, done that, no thanks.

    Got to run, working.... I'll get back on later.
     
  13. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    You are first on my list of people to visit in Texas, I'll make it back down there one of these years :) You shouldn't make up stories about people I'd have to talk to. That'd go over great if he had no clue what I was talking about!

    Speaking of the shrink, that reminds me; I have to call today to set up more appointments.... I'd best do that soon.

    Sleeping in three hour intervals? Sounds like me! The festival sounds like it is a good time, there is nothing exciting going on here for a while. It snowed again today anyway, so it wouldn't be much fun in the cold if it were here.

    What kind of jewelry? See you later hopefully.
     
  14. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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    I've been thinking about writing again, but I also need a break from it all I think. I thought about making jewelry for a long time, never did though. I've had stones made into jewelry, but haven't done it myself. Maybe one of these days I'll have enough money to buy one of those kilns and the stuff you need to make the gold/silver parts. I have many stones still, but have yet to do anything with them.

    One of my favorite pass times is going to mines, getting my own dirt, and getting the leftovers out! My mom and I even went in on a bucket from the emerald mine in Arkansas. We didn't get any usable ones, but I got a ton of nice amethyst pieces.

    Funny story! In the hospital we'd get crafts to do once in a while. One day we got to make jewelry out of clay. You can form the clay into beads and stuff, then you just bake it in the oven for a bit. Presto! Home made bead jewelry. I suppose I could get clay and see what I could do with that and some of my stones, but it isn't the same. You should see the HIDEOUS bracelet I made in the hospital! :) LOL I'm sure I'll keep it forever or give it to another someday as a reminder of hope or something. I'll have to take a picture of that MONTROSITY one of these days and post it. LOL

    I scheduled more therapy appointments today, so yes I'll be going back. I really think we are going to run out of things to talk about lest I start writing again! I guess there is always the weather....

    Last time we also talked about the cops and the security gaurds. It is funny how I still react to the mere thought of handcuffs of being restrained. I hope I get over that soon, I can't even watch COPS anymore! I still have the scar on my wrist too. It has healed up nicely, but it is still about 4 shades more red than I am. I don't think I'll ever forget the dispear and helpless feeling of being restrained. I really hated it and just the thought makes me uncomfortable and gives me a "bad feeling". Bad as in hopeless, helpless, complete failure, utter devestation, the darkest of dark, consumption, defeat, dispear.

    LOL, look at me! I said I didn't want to write and I go rambling on and on! I guess I am hopeless! :) lol
     
  15. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    Yeah...I just...*sigh*.
    I think I'm just an emotional-commitment-phobe. If that makes any sense. I don't let people in very easily, and if they get too attached too quickly it freaks me the hell out. Besides, this guy and I have our problems anyways, and it's been bothering me more and more lately...but I can't stand to hurt people. So I'm really pretty torn about it all. I wish my room mate wasn't here so I could talk to Ashley on Skype about it :(
    I've just never been this weird about a relationship before. Normally I love people easily, have no problem with the normal progression of things, etc...but I think this time I'm just more jaded and burned than I realized I was. I think I seriously almost pushed the poor guy out the front door when it looked like he was going to say the "L" word lol.


    Haha I would only do it to trick you into coming down here...I would have filled you in on the drive from the airport :p

    Ugh...Yeah...Fell asleep at 1am, woke up at 4am...then fell asleep again around lunch time and slept for a few more hours...it's irritating.

    Well, I used to have this big celtic-knot ring. And another one that was twin dragons curled around an amethyst piece. I still have a celtic-knot pentagram that's beautiful. I just love interesting jewelry. I have a small bracelet I wear all the time that I bought from the chain-mail makers at the renaissance faire.


    I love making jewelry! :bounce

    It's been a while, but I used to buy beads and different kinds of wire, then make wire and chain jewelry. I also did some glass bead-making for a while. Now THAT'S fun. You buy these little sticks of colored or clear glass, and set up a little torch and then melt the glass sticks onto a little piece of metal wire. You can add dots, stripes, flowers shapes, all kinds of stuff. Then you just stick it in this little padded thing and let it cool down for a day :D

    I used to work with clay a lot...I did pots and sculptures and stuff, though, not jewelry. Haha I would love to see your masterpiece :p

    My ex-step-grandmother used to own and run a gem and mineral business. I think she still owns a few mines. I've never been to a mine to dig stuff up, but I really want to go sometime. The most I've done is go to Arkansas, where you can go deep into the foresting areas and dig up quartz crystals. I've found some ENORMOUS ones out there...like as big as my hand, at least! :D

    Honey, I'm so sorry the cop thing is that hard on you...I can't imagine. Have you talked with your shrink about it at all? It might be good to bring it up. See if she has any advice on how to make it less painful for you. The closest thing I have to relate to that is my neck thing....and, as you know, I haven't managed to get over that completely yet lol. So I'm probably not going to be your best source of insight on this :cover:
     
  16. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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  17. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    I'm really not sure. I've always been weird about getting close to people. Probably just because of childhood BS...You know, one abusive parent, one neglectful parent, Mom died when I was a kid, bi***, moan, whine, etc. lol. Add to that a ruined engagement and my last ex going psycho on me. :shrug: I'm just overly cautious about getting hurt, I guess. Even in my friendships. It makes me keep this insane iron-grip on my emotions... Sometimes I think it's really unnatural :areyoucra
    Well, I DO care about him. A lot. It's not that I don't feel anything at all...I'm with him because of the feelings I DO have. It's just that now I'm starting to think that might not be enough...But I also don't want to break things off just because I'm scared and running away...if that makes any sense :sarcastic

    I can't talk to Ash because my roomie would be able to hear me.... And as much as I love her, I wouldn't trust her with this. And she's not who I would want to go to for relationship advice, anyways lol.



    You sound just like me :D


    I love the way amethyst looks in silver wire pieces. Then again, I have a huge bias for silver. :yes:


    Heh....sounds like me and pool ;)


    Haha I read that and went *click!* over to Expedia.com. Tickets are about $267 round trip :p lol



    I think that maybe simply being aware of WHY you feel that way gives you some power over it...If you know that the only reason you feel so horrible is because of a past experience (and not something bad that's actually going on at the moment), then you can use that to kind of talk yourself out of it, y'know?
    It is normal...and I would say you've been doing exceptionally well at dealing with everything and working stuff out in your own head. It'll get better :)
     
  18. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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  19. Stellify

    Stellify StarChild

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    Yeah...I'm trying to listen more to my heart than my head, but my mind has a big freakin' mouth and NEVER shuts up.... I think if I just calm down a bit I'll figure it out. Especially if I can talk to Ashley. She knows me well enough that she's become rather good at helping me untangle my feelings.

    Why silver? I'm not sure. I've always had a fondness for it and preferred it over gold. Then as I got older, I also learned from pagan friends of mine its association with the Goddess and moon and all of that stuff. :shrug: I think it just suits me better. I've also always preferred "cool" colors to "warm" ones...Blues, greens, purples, grey...instead of red, orange, yellow, etc. Maybe that has something to do with it, since silver is a cooler color and gold is a warmer one?

    Psh. If I come visit, you are most certainly not giving up your bed. This is an argument you will lose. I'm extremely stubborn about this sort of thing, my dear :D
    Haha No way you would have to rent a car. I'm barely in class during the days...I only REALLY have to go from 11-12 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

    :eek: That last paragraph of yours just made me stare at my screen and call myself stupid for not thinking of it before! lol. That's the perfect idea! I read that, and it just "fit". If I have time, I'm going to go this weekend and buy stuff to make a necklace for myself. :D
    Thank you! :hugkiss:
     
  20. Comet

    Comet Harvey Wallbanger

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