Please don't touch!

[Brickjectivity]

France and many other countries consider cheek kissing a form of welcome, being a Brit i found this quite intimidating when i first moved here. Now its just natural. I know some french people who cannot stand the custom and will physically push people away if they make the attempt.

Reasons, I don't know, it's one of the things that are not discussed on polite company.

What would happen if just before the kiss you said "Give me some sugar." Would that be appropriate?

 

[Koldo]

I did not know that. Also man kissing cheeks of another woman, when they are not in a relationship, or her husband is standing next to it?
I once kissed a woman on her cheek, but the North American man, who just married her, got really mad at me. Since then I stopped

Good question!
Yes, people kiss each other's cheek in casual settings even if they are not in a relationship. However, if the woman is a stranger to you and her spouse is next to her it is a bad idea to kiss her cheek! Confusing, I know!

I think Muslims do this. But not the above. When not a Muslim, you better not even consider to do this. Some men get upset if you just look at them

Better safe than sorry!

 

[stvdv]

Yes, people kiss each other's cheek in casual settings even if they are not in a relationship. However, if the woman is a stranger to you and her spouse is next to her it is a bad idea to kiss her cheek! Confusing, I know!

In my case I have known the woman for many years, very well (friendly basis), but then she married an American...no more "kiss her cheek"

 

[Stevicus]

Perhaps many are not aware that some people, for whatever reasons, do not like to be touched by others, even if there is no especial intent - just being friendly or grabbing their attention, for example. I found this out once and later discovered that the person was in fact autistic (which I had not worked out at the time), but I've since discovered that it occurs also in various other issues, like Asperger's or OCD, and it might be a phobia on its own (haphephobia). Anyone have such or had problems with it?

Don’t Touch Me! A Guide to Understanding Touch Aversion & Tactile Sensitivity

(I hope the choice of music isn't offensive - not intended as such.)

I'm reminded of the movie Three O'Clock High where the main antagonist, Buddy Revell, was known as a "touch freak" because he didn't like to be touched. Apparently, he put a teacher in the hospital in three days after the teacher touched him.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

My mom never hugged me. No physical contact. Provided food shelter so I'm thankful for that.
Physical contact is uncomfortable for me. I assume this is partly why. I tolerate it because family seems to want it so I force myself into it. Fortunately I don't seemed to have passed this onto my kids.

I have a milder version of this same story.
My grandfather was from a working class British background, so a very firm handshake was the preferred contact method for males, even when I was young. My Dad was the same, maybe even moreso. They were both softer with girls.

I've had 2 girls, and I'm pretty cuddly with them, but I find contact pretty invasive in some ways. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine if I have a boy this the around, but it will be interesting to see if it's as natural to me as cuddling and kissing my girls is.

#baggage

 

[Heyo]

Perhaps many are not aware that some people, for whatever reasons, do not like to be touched by others, even if there is no especial intent - just being friendly or grabbing their attention, for example. I found this out once and later discovered that the person was in fact autistic (which I had not worked out at the time), but I've since discovered that it occurs also in various other issues, like Asperger's or OCD, and it might be a phobia on its own (haphephobia). Anyone have such or had problems with it?

Don’t Touch Me! A Guide to Understanding Touch Aversion & Tactile Sensitivity

(I hope the choice of music isn't offensive - not intended as such.)

An aversion to touch or physical proximity is a survival trait. #Covid-19

 

[Mock Turtle]

I have a milder version of this same story.
My grandfather was from a working class British background, so a very firm handshake was the preferred contact method for males, even when I was young. My Dad was the same, maybe even moreso. They were both softer with girls.

I've had 2 girls, and I'm pretty cuddly with them, but I find contact pretty invasive in some ways. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine if I have a boy this the around, but it will be interesting to see if it's as natural to me as cuddling and kissing my girls is.

#baggage

Perhaps those growing up after WWII were less likely to be physical with their children (perhaps emotionally damaged from all the loss of life and such), mine certainly were although my mother didn't seem to have a problem with this, but we were not as cuddlesome as is the norm now. My father was a fireman in WWII so probably saw many dead people, my mother probably less so.

 

[ChristineM]

Aha, that's why there are only 1000 living in my village, they all are in France, searching to be "French kissed".

I was in France, 30 years ago, oh no, 40 years ago (I always forget that I am that old already). I was never kissed by men though. I remember I met a Scandinavian woman and she kissed like an angel; heavenly Scandinavian French kiss I could call that. I guess I was lucky, I just prefer women kissing me, not man.

It's not really a kiss, but a touch of cheek to cheek

 

[ChristineM]

What would happen if just before the kiss you said "Give me some sugar." Would that be appropriate?

Could be, there seems to be a shortage of cane sugar at the moment. Topical or what?

But it would be more in keeping with tradition if a simple bonjour/bonsoir came before the "bisses" and ask for the sugar after.