Periods of Loneliness/Social Stagnation

[JustGeorge]

It is. 3 dogs is the dream...

What holds you back from it?

Your dog is very cute.

 

[mikkel_the_dane]

For the last several months, my social life has been heavily stagnant. All of my friends either now live abroad or too far away for us to meet in person. I have also had to cut off two former casual friends I sometimes hung out with because it turned out that they had maliciously harmed someone in a group we were both a part of.

Has anyone else here experienced similar periods of "social downtime"? If so, what did you do to adapt or bring said period to an end? I'm currently putting a lot of time into working and studying to help distract myself (and because I need to do both anyway, of course), but I'm also trying to make new friends because the loneliness is still noticeable for me.

I am an introvert, but I am lucky in that I have a partner, my wife. Since I got fired from my special needs type of job, that is as such all the socialization I get, except for RF.

 

[Vee]

Has anyone else here experienced similar periods of "social downtime"?

Yes, I get that quite a lot.
Making new friends is a good idea. It also helps to stay busy. For me it comes and goes. I'm an introvert so my social skills are always limited and I tend to keep a small circle of friends.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Yes, I get that quite a lot.
Making new friends is a good idea. It also helps to stay busy. For me it comes and goes. I'm an introvert so my social skills are always limited and I tend to keep a small circle of friends.

(We need to catch up in a call sometime.)

 

[Vee]

(We need to catch up in a call sometime.)

We sure do

 

[Quagmire]

I miss the old chat room ---back when it was Brad chat--- and some of the people who used to go there every day.

 

[amorphous_constellation]

Has anyone else here experienced similar periods of "social downtime"? If so, what did you do to adapt or bring said period to an end? I'm currently putting a lot of time into working and studying to help distract myself (and because I need to do both anyway, of course), but I'm also trying to make new friends because the loneliness is still noticeable for me.

Well as of now, it is getting colder, so that means that a layer of isolation starts to set in for everyone. It was around 30 degrees fahrenheit yesterday, and it will only get colder, until my world is an icy ball

For complicated reasons, that I can't be concise with, or fully explicate, I have basically led a life of social downtime, on one level or the other. As for three 'good' friends that I had for about 15 years each, I eventually fell out with all of them, for one reason or another. Well, one 'dumped' me, and I ended up 'dumping' the other two.

To begin with, I began my early twenties as a musician. Originally, I felt that this would carry me through, and provide me a bridge to socialization. But what I learned, is that it never really could do that for me. Musicians themselves proved even hard to befriend, as they turned out to be (in my perception) a rather self-interested and competitive bunch, who often like to party, and so often seemed to see me as a business competitor, rather than an asset.

As for the kinds of people that one met in the places where I played with bands, namely bars, well I could never hear what people were actually saying in bars. And seeing that I don't drink, I was nowhere near the same plane as they were, mentally

Another problem is that I think my parents tried to raise me to be different. They didn't want me to 'need' other people, though it's hard to explain. My dad was an alcoholic who isolated himself, and wanted to extend his thinking to me, and at the same I time was suspected of being autistic, which my parents had no understanding of

I just could just keep rambling about this, from multiple angles. Although this post is already long, I'm really just giving a heading for each of the things I think. Another issue is the question introversion - in my case I'd argue that my introversion is pretty compelled. And I also wonder if most introversion is sort of compelled, and I wonder where the line is between introversion and narcissism - or if people would associate narcissism more closely with extroversion ?

I feel like of the extroverts I've known, none of them knew why their inner social machinery worked - they could not explain it to me, it was for them, automatic.

I feel like american culture might actually have the least respect for introversion, though many of its constituents probably experience a lot of it. Across the ocean, in europe and the middle east etc., where we get the texts, and religions, and history that are supposed to comprise the foundations of our culture, there was a history that included monks and ascetics, holy people and thinkers that spent time alone. In america, we have the 'frontiersmen,' but I think they were probably often accompanied, and were social, for survival and company

But anyway, there's also the thing now with me working 3rd shift. It is saturday, and I woke up basically in the dark. Anyway, that's enough rambling from me. I guess I'll for a walk to the gas station, and get some ice cream or something

 

[JIMMY12345]

For the last several months, my social life has been heavily stagnant. All of my friends either now live abroad or too far away for us to meet in person. I have also had to cut off two former casual friends I sometimes hung out with because it turned out that they had maliciously harmed someone in a group we were both a part of.

Has anyone else here experienced similar periods of "social downtime"? If so, what did you do to adapt or bring said period to an end? I'm currently putting a lot of time into working and studying to help distract myself (and because I need to do both anyway, of course), but I'm also trying to make new friends because the loneliness is still noticeable for me.

Part of life I am afriad.Also as we age from 100's of friends we slowly whittle down.We also listen to less Rock and more classical music.God Bless.