PDAs

[Bastet]

Well, since I started this thread, guess it's time I added my own views...

Personally, I have no problem with seeing any couple holding hands, hugging, or having a quick kiss in public. By quick kiss, I mean the usual hello/goodbye kiss that many couples I know do. I think it's sweet. I don't personally want to see anyone fully making out in public, tongues and hands going for it. That's not to say I haven't done it myself but, as has been pointed out, discretion isn't generally a trait of teenagers - or some adults LOL. Mind you, if a couple want to make out in their car, and a passerby happens to see it...well, they shouldn't have been looking in the first place.

I'll have to say though, I can understand why couples - same sex especially - would feel uncomfortable even just holding hands with their partner in public. When I went to see Maize last year, we went to a shopping mall and walked around holding hands. I loved, loved, loved that! But, I think I'd have been slightly uncomfortable if I hadn't been in a place where I knew nobody knew us. I did notice some people staring, but I thought "Stuff 'em! They don't know me, I don't care!". I'm not sure how I'd be, for example, walking down the street in the small town where my parents live lol. I'd like to think that I'd have the same "Stuff 'em" attitude, but I guess I'll have to wait and see. Hopefully the opportunity to test the theory will present itself soon.

 

[Runt]

I think it is kind of sweet when I see a couple holding hands, hugging, or giving one another a quick peck. However, it makes me slightly uncomfortable to see them making out, and REALLY uncomfortable if they are groping one another in public. However, I can tolerate all of the above, and in some cases that discomfort is tinged with amusement.

What I don't like is when I see young teenagers (sometimes not even teenagers yet... ages 10-13 or so) engaging in PDAs. I was at the mall not too long ago and saw what looked like a couple twelve year olds making out. That was just yuck... I remember "dating" at that age, and it isn't about actually feeling much for the other person, or even really that much about hormones (though it can be for some). At 12, "dating" is more of a sign that you have some kind of social status... if you date, you must be "cool". And of course, it is no good being "cool" in private; no, others MUST see, or they won't know how "cool" you are! So PDAs for younger teens and preteens are all about getting attention, about showing off the fact that they are dating, and not about having a real relationship with one another. Yes, some kids might have had a different experience (I know a couple people who started dating in middle school and who are still together now), but I think generally this is what is going on with teens and preteens as far as dating and PDAs go.

 

[The Voice of Reason]

So, you don't want to see two males kissing...are you including the 'hello/goodbye peck on the cheek/lips' as well? What about holding hands or hugging? Or is it just a full on snog you have a problem with? I'm not trying to attack your opinion, just curious about what point your bias begins and ends.

No problem Bastet, and it is a good, legitimate question. I'm not sure about the answer - I've never even considered it. I used to live with two girls (I was about 25 years old at the time) for over a year, and we used to go to gay bars, so that they could dance (or whatever) without feeling self-conscious about it. Guys would ask if I would like drink, of if I would like to dance, etc. I had absolutely no problem with that whatsoever. I mean, heck, I'm in a gay bar and I'm a male - it would be kinda stupid to get upset. Hell, I worked with a couple of the guys in there. At any rate, when I would see two guys kissing (and it was a full kiss), I'd simply look away, trying not to offend them. I know this is my emotional baggage, not theirs. I can't really answer your question, Bastet.

I could roll my eyes at this all-too-common male fantasy, but I won't...ok...I will lol.

Color me all-too-common!!

TVOR

 

[The Voice of Reason]

And some kinky people want an audience.

Who you calling kinky? I have a friend that may take offense at this statement!

TVOR

 

[Lightkeeper]

Are you your friend? Here's your audience.

 

[The Voice of Reason]

Am I that transparent? I thought I had disguised it well...

TVOR

 

[Hope]

I agree with the majority here--once it goes beyond the hand-holding, hugging, and quick peck stage, I think PDAs are no longer appropriate. Don't get me wrong--I'm all for displaying proudly one's affection for someone, but once there is a great deal of physical 'intimacy' going on, doing it in public only invalidates the 'intimacy', doesn't it? The very nature of intimacy is 'exclusiveness', and that's what makes it so special. If one is making out in front of the whole world, it ceases to be an intimate thing--as, in my opinion, is what it should be.

 

[Lightkeeper]

"...proudly displaying ones affection for another..." That brings up a question. Would this be real affection or just a display? Maybe what some of us don't like is a false display. I think we don't mind the real thing.

 

[Hope]

"...proudly displaying ones affection for another..." That brings up a question. Would this be real affection or just a display? Maybe what some of us don't like is a false display. I think we don't mind the real thing.

Good thought, Lightkeeper. In my humble opinion, if one has genuine affection/love for someone, one will definitely want to be open about it and not hide it, and yet on the other hand, not go overboard either. If I had a boyfriend who wanted to make out with me in public all the time, I would take it as a sign of disrepect. But that's just me. I definitely am not a fan of false displays. But even if it is the real thing, I think excessive physical intimacy between people is better off not being seen by the general public....

 

[Quoth The Raven]

You and my mother both lol. I remember her saying, the night I came out to her, that she didn't even understand why men found women attractive, let alone why other women would.

This is mum you're talking about...much of what she thinks defies rational thought processes at the best of times.This is the same person who banned our 15 year old brother from the internet for looking at porn for heavens sake.
She should have been happy he wasn't putting his hormonal urges to more practical pursuits as it were...

Back on topic;PDA's, all for 'em up to a point. If people are telling you to get a room you've gone too far.

 

[Sunstone]

It's interesting that there is quite a bit of consensus on this issue. Probably there is more consensus on this issue than on most others we discuss. Nearly everyone says that they accept PDAs up to a point, and then prefer that the couple take it to some place private. Maybe those biologists who say there is a universal human taboo against mating in public are correct?