PDAs

[Bastet]

We have this little old couple who come into work every Wednesday. I have a soft spot for them, they really are sweet. They hold hands when they walk together, and it got me thinking...

What are your views on public displays of affection (PDAs)? What do you think of, for example, holding hands, vs. a hug, vs. a quick peck on the cheek, vs. a kiss on the lips, vs. a full on snog...how much, personally, do you think is appropriate? When and where is it not? Does the age/gender/orientation of the couple make any difference to your views?

Just curious...

 

[Jaymes]

As long as the couple isn't all but making out in public, I don't really mind. Personally I'm kind of scared to do PDA-ish stuff, though. I'm always afraid that everyone's staring at me.

 

[jewscout]

I'm all about some PDA! Of course i'm not gonna make out in front of little kids but if someone has a problem with me kissing and holding my girl then they can take it up with me and my steeltoed boots:jam: . Besides they're just jealous

 

[Feathers in Hair]

I love seeing the older people in the community holding hands and such! (Maybe it's age-bias, but I think it's sweet, whenever I see it.) I remember, though, my high school and attempting to walk to classes while other teens were taking the PDA to extreme levels- we're talking about crossing the PG-13 rating and heading into R territory- and it made it rather disgusting to try to get around.

 

[Sunstone]

When that first shot of hormones comes in during the teen years, it's a zinger! You wind up trying to hump anything for -- Oh, about seven or eight years. Nowadays, I find it amusing to see teens trying to deal with their hormones. Been there, done that, been to therapy, have the T-shirt to prove it.

 

[The Voice of Reason]

LOL -

I would agree wholeheartedly with Feathers (a good feeling in itself). When I see an older couple holding hands, in my mind, I am seeing two people who "got it right" in this lifetime. I make the assumption that they have been together for life (and I know that this is a wrong assumption), because I want to believe that is the case. I always think to myself, that the old man has snuck one past the rest of the world. I almost wonder what a woman could see in most men that would make them want to stay with one man for a lifetime. So, I guess I am gender biased - after all, I'm of the male gland myself.

As for middle aged couples, it is almost a wash (from my point of view).

As for teenagers, I kind of laugh to myself, because I know what is going through the young man's mind. Of course, I have no idea what the girl is thinking - and any man that says he does is lying. When the young couple starts slobbering, it's time to find some isolation.

TVOR

 

[Lightkeeper]

Save it for the bedroom. Just kidding! I think handholding and hugging are O.K. in public. I don't care to witness anything beyond that. I would like to see more same gender affection in public.

 

[skills101]

Holding hands and hugging - good. Peck on the cheek - fine. Making out in public - BADDDDD. I don't know, I just find it extremely rude because it makes everyone around you feel uncomfortable, like they should be doing it too or something. I don't know, JUST DON'T DO IT. I agree with TVOR though.

 

[The Voice of Reason]

When that first shot of hormones comes in during the teen years, it's a zinger! You wind up trying to hump anything for -- Oh, about seven or eight years. Nowadays, I find it amusing to see teens trying to deal with their hormones. Been there, done that, been to therapy, have the T-shirt to prove it.

I don't think women have a clue about teenage males. I agree with the sentiments expressed by Sunstone. For these young males, that driving force is almost more overpowering than the need to eat or sleep. Thank God it can be "assuaged" without harming other people.
Just asking, Sunstone - did you get the crew neck T-shirt or the one with the three button placket, like I got?

I would like to see more same gender affection in public.

I speak only for myself, Lightkeeper (well, probably for the overwhelming majority of males), but I have to say that I have no desire to see two males kissing, let alone anything more than that. I have absolutely no problem with two consenting adults of any gender doing anything that they want to do, but when it comes to this, I cannot overcome my personal bias. Do not misunderstand me, I would never want this to be legislated.
On the other side of the fence, I have to confess that, like most males, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with witnessing two females engaging in this type of behaviour. I would guess that this is because (in my mind) females are so much appealing to the eye. I just don't understand why anyone, regardless of orientation, would ever consider a male more attractive than a female, all other things (i.e. age, condition, etc.) being equal. I am not saying that anyone that disagrees with me is wrong, only that I truly do not see their side of this issue.

This is probably one of the few positions that I will ever hold on this site that I cannot logically defend, because my mind knows that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

I know this post will draw responses from the males on this site that are homosexual, and I truly do not mean to insinuate that they are wrong, in any way, on any level.

Twisted,
TVOR

 

[Lightkeeper]

I don't think women have a clue about teenage males. I agree with the sentiments expressed by Sunstone. For these young males, that driving force is almost more overpowering than the need to eat or sleep. Thank God it can be "assuaged" without harming other people.
Just asking, Sunstone - did you get the crew neck T-shirt or the one with the three button placket, like I got?



I speak only for myself, Lightkeeper (well, probably for the overwhelming majority of males), but I have to say that I have no desire to see two males kissing, let alone anything more than that. I have absolutely no problem with two consenting adults of any gender doing anything that they want to do, but when it comes to this, I cannot overcome my personal bias. Do not misunderstand me, I would never want this to be legislated.
On the other side of the fence, I have to confess that, like most males, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with witnessing two females engaging in this type of behaviour. I would guess that this is because (in my mind) females are so much appealing to the eye. I just don't understand why anyone, regardless of orientation, would ever consider a male more attractive than a female, all other things (i.e. age, condition, etc.) being equal. I am not saying that anyone that disagrees with me is wrong, only that I truly do not see their side of this issue.

This is probably one of the few positions that I will ever hold on this site that I cannot logically defend, because my mind knows that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

I know this post will draw responses from the males on this site that are homosexual, and I truly do not mean to insinuate that they are wrong, in any way, on any level.

Twisted,
TVOR

You need to reread my post. My cut off point was handholding and hugging.

 

[Sunstone]

Just asking, Sunstone - did you get the crew neck T-shirt or the one with the three button placket, like I got?

They gave you a choice? You got a three-button placket T? I got short-changed! Now I'm pissed. All those years of humping dog's legs, and all I got for it was a crummy crew-neck!

More seriously, while it amuses me to see teens dealing with their hormones, I think they should be strongly encouraged to take their more overt displays of affection out of the public eye. It's part of civilizing them.

 

[The Voice of Reason]

You need to reread my post. My cut off point was handholding and hugging.

Lightkeeper -
I did not mean to say that you were supporting anything more than handholding and hugging. I was simply responding to the part of your statement that brought up the same gender couples. My apologies if I offended you, or if you think I misstated your position.

Sincerely,
TVOR

 

[Sunstone]

A friend of mine used to tell his daughters that the only thing in this world that is hornier than a teenage boy is a teenage girl. I think he may have had a point in this sense: males and females show their horniness in different ways, but nature has more or less made them equally horny. Women tend to yearn for romance about as much as men tend to yearn for orgasm. One goes first for emotional intimacy and the other goes first for physical intimacy.

But what do you think? Who's hornier? Teenage boys or teenage girls?

 

[The Voice of Reason]

Sunstone -

I have to say that this is one of the easier questions I have seen on this site. I am not saying that females don't have urges in this arena - I am sure that they do. And I agree with your point that females probably value emotional intimacy as opposed to physical intimacy (as males do). It would actually be more accurate to say that I would concede the point - I don't really KNOW what teenage females value.

But, unequivocally, I can say this - if teenage females sought or valued physical intimacy as strongly as teenage males do, this world would witness a population explosion that would stagger the mind. I say this because, as you did, I grew up male, talking to males, and listening to males. I know what goes through their minds, ceaselessly.

Thanks,
TVOR

 

[Lightkeeper]

Sunstone -

I have to say that this is one of the easier questions I have seen on this site. I am not saying that females don't have urges in this arena - I am sure that they do. And I agree with your point that females probably value emotional intimacy as opposed to physical intimacy (as males do). It would actually be more accurate to say that I would concede the point - I don't really KNOW what teenage females value.

But, unequivocally, I can say this - if teenage females sought or valued physical intimacy as strongly as teenage males do, this world would witness a population explosion that would stagger the mind. I say this because, as you did, I grew up male, talking to males, and listening to males. I know what goes through their minds, ceaselessly.

Thanks,
TVOR

You guys are getting off topic, why don't you start another thread on this. It's a good topic.

 

[Sunstone]

Back on topic: I read in a biology textbook that we humans are the only species of Great Ape which seeks privacy for mating. Our nearest relatives, the chimpanzees and Gorillas have nothing shy about mating in public. Furthermore, there seems to be a universal human taboo about mating in public -- it's not just confined to one culture or society, but is frowned upon by all human cultures and societies. There is quite a debate in the evolutionary sciences over why and how this behavior (i.e. a strong preference for mating in private) evolved in us.

 

[Lightkeeper]

Back on topic: I read in a biology textbook that we humans are the only species of Great Ape which seeks privacy for mating. Our nearest relatives, the chimpanzees and Gorillas have nothing shy about mating in public. Furthermore, there seems to be a universal human taboo about mating in public -- it's not just confined to one culture or society, but is frowned upon by all human cultures and societies. There is quite a debate in the evolutionary sciences over why and how this behavior (i.e. a strong preference for mating in private) evolved in us.

It's interesting that we want to do it in private, but we want to watch it in videos and movies. And some kinky people want an audience. I am happy, though, that I can walk down and not trip over a couple in action.

 

[Bastet]

I would agree wholeheartedly with Feathers (a good feeling in itself). When I see an older couple holding hands, in my mind, I am seeing two people who "got it right" in this lifetime. I make the assumption that they have been together for life (and I know that this is a wrong assumption), because I want to believe that is the case. I always think to myself, that the old man has snuck one past the rest of the world. I almost wonder what a woman could see in most men that would make them want to stay with one man for a lifetime.

I'll admit, this is what I think when I see older couples holding hands too. Especially old Sheila and Arthur (yes, that's her real name! ). I don't know how old Arthur is, but Sheila turned 92 on St. Patrick's Day. I'd rather think it's a romantic gesture, than the possibility that Sheila is just keeping old Arthur upright and steady on his feet LOL.

 

[Sunstone]

I don't see a lot of same sex couples showing affection in public. Mostly, when I do, it's two young women holding hands or -- rarely -- kissing. I don't think I've ever seen two men holding hands or kissing except during the annual Gay Pride Parade. Basically, I have no objection to either same sex couple showing mild affection in public. I would expect to be surprised, however, the first time or so that I saw men kissing (apart from on Gay Pride Day). The novelty would surprise me.

 

[Bastet]

I speak only for myself, Lightkeeper (well, probably for the overwhelming majority of males), but I have to say that I have no desire to see two males kissing, let alone anything more than that. I have absolutely no problem with two consenting adults of any gender doing anything that they want to do, but when it comes to this, I cannot overcome my personal bias. Do not misunderstand me, I would never want this to be legislated.

So, you don't want to see two males kissing...are you including the 'hello/goodbye peck on the cheek/lips' as well? What about holding hands or hugging? Or is it just a full on snog you have a problem with? I'm not trying to attack your opinion, just curious about what point your bias begins and ends.

On the other side of the fence, I have to confess that, like most males, I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with witnessing two females engaging in this type of behaviour.

I could roll my eyes at this all-too-common male fantasy, but I won't...ok...I will lol.

I would guess that this is because (in my mind) females are so much appealing to the eye. I just don't understand why anyone, regardless of orientation, would ever consider a male more attractive than a female, all other things (i.e. age, condition, etc.) being equal. I am not saying that anyone that disagrees with me is wrong, only that I truly do not see their side of this issue.

You and my mother both lol. I remember her saying, the night I came out to her, that she didn't even understand why men found women attractive, let alone why other women would. I guess that's why men seem to have more problem with gay men than they do lesbians; and women seem to have more problem with lesbians than they do gay men. Course, then there's the whole misguided notion that you're prey to sexual advances automatically because of your gender, regardless of whether said homosexual knows your orientation or not. Not saying you believe that, but it's a common misconception, and I think accounts for a lot of needless hostility.