Pain And Suffering

[Salty Booger]

I hypothesize that pain and suffering is cyclical and contagious, that our pain and suffering can infect others around us, that the root of pain and suffering is deeply rooted in the personal past. I suppose the practical question would be, how do we release all our personal pain and suffering without infecting others?


Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

 

[syo]

People don't accept mental illnesses as real. That is why they get frustrated around mentally sick people. I struggled to prove my mental sickness to some normal people.

 

[Salty Booger]

People don't accept mental illnesses as real. That is why they get frustrated around mentally sick people. I struggled to prove my mental sickness to some normal people.

You probably come off as being very stable, but that's everybody's task. I am nuttier than a peanut plantation, but I'm fine with that. As long as I am not a danger to myself or others, nobody seems to care.

 

[syo]

You probably come off as being very stable, but that's everybody's task. I am nuttier than a peanut plantation, but I'm fine with that. As long as I am not a danger to myself or others, nobody seems to care.

I am not a danger either. But I need my pills.

 

[Salty Booger]

I am not a danger either. But I need my pills.

If they help, you should keep taking them, imo.

 

[SigurdReginson]

Hmmm... Good question. That's tough...

I don't know if it is necessarily possible to treat our pain and suffering without other people; and that's where the damage is done to others. The best we might be able to do is to seek professional help, and to recognize when we exhibit unhealthy/toxic behavior, and to work on correcting that behavior.

It takes a whole lot of effort, and a whole lot of intellectual honesty, but I think it can be done. Becoming a burden to others is a terrible thing, but the pendulum always swings, so keep that in mind when a friend or family member needs to rely on you.

 

[Salty Booger]

The best we might be able to do is to seek professional help, and to recognize when we exhibit unhealthy/toxic behavior, and to work on correcting that behavior.

Does correcting our behavior heal internal pain? I have to believe their is something bothering the toxic individual to make them so toxic. Perhaps fixing the internal problem would cure the behavior?

Becoming a burden to others is a terrible thing, but the pendulum always swings, so keep that in mind when a friend or family member needs to rely on you.

You do what you can. Sometimes misery loves company.

 

[SigurdReginson]

Does correcting our behavior heal internal pain?

Not right away. Struggle is struggle, but after the path is walked a while, that's when healing starts to take root.

I have to believe their is something bothering the toxic individual to make them so toxic.

Not always. Sometimes it's a learned behavior, and they don't even know they are doing it. That would be where personality disorders come in. Through behavioral cognitive therapy, those issues can be fixed, but it always takes a lot of effort to tackle. Some personality disorders are easier to treat than others.

Most folks with personality disorders don't even realize they have them; they just think, "Well, I guess that's just the way I am."

Perhaps fixing the internal problem would cure the behavior?

Sometimes! Sometimes outward change is what corrects inward suffering. It really boils down to educating one's self on their problems, and being honest and diligent in fighting them. That's what I've found, at least.

You do what you can. Sometimes misery loves company.

Very, very true. It's a good way to learn about oneself, too.

 

[Trailblazer]

I hypothesize that pain and suffering is cyclical and contagious, that our pain and suffering can infect others around us, that the root of pain and suffering is deeply rooted in the personal past. I suppose the practical question would be, how do we release all our personal pain and suffering without infecting others?

I agree that the root of emotional pain and suffering is deeply rooted in the personal past but it can easily be triggered by present events. I have PTSD and I think it dates back to my father's sudden death when I was 12 yrs old, and since then it has been triggered by the many sudden cat losses I have endured over the course of 20 years. The grief is horrible even when the death is not sudden, but it is much worse when it is unexpected and sudden.

The way I keep my personal pain and suffering from infecting others is that I never inflict it on others, unless they express an interest in coming to my aid of they hear my story. Otherwise I do not talk about my excruciating emotional pain, except sometimes with my husband, but that is his job to listen to me.

I normally do not tell my cat illness and loss stories on the forum because I imagine how it might trigger someone else's emotional pain with their pets, and I do not want to do that. My pain is so great, I often wish I was dead but I normally suffer in silence.

Let me put it this way, if I had no cats I would have nothing to complain about at all, except my disheveled house and yard and a tenant who is thousands of dollars behind on his rent, but those things pale in significance because I love the cats more than anything else in the world, and besides, I have so much money that I could easily hire someone to fix and clean the house and yard and I could take the rent loss. However, this is the last tenant who is going to take advantage of my good graces because if he does not pay as he promised it will go to court this time. I won't recoup all the money because it is far more than I can get in small claims court, and I do not want to bother with a higher court.

If I truly had free will, I could find homes for all the cats and sell the three houses I own in full and move to some exotic location and live happily ever after, but alas, free will is circumscribed by so many factors, not the least of which is my love for the cats. It is also circumscribed by the fact that I do not think I deserve to be happy, old baggage I brought with me from childhood. Then there are also the religious beliefs, those also cause guilt if I want anything for myself.

 

[Trailblazer]

Does correcting our behavior heal internal pain? I have to believe their is something bothering the toxic individual to make them so toxic. Perhaps fixing the internal problem would cure the behavior?

No, I do not think changing behavior heals inner pain. A person has to be willing to look at what is causing the pain and then work through those feelings in counseling, group therapy, or 12 step groups. If someone is toxic to others that is usually because they cannot look at themselves so they project what they are feeling onto others and they blame other people for their problems or their behavior... Been there, done that, so that is how I know. Self-awareness is the key but the road to recovery is a long road many people are not willing to take.

 

[Brian2]

I hypothesize that pain and suffering is cyclical and contagious, that our pain and suffering can infect others around us, that the root of pain and suffering is deeply rooted in the personal past. I suppose the practical question would be, how do we release all our personal pain and suffering without infecting others?

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Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Go to the desert by yourself and scream.

 

[Trailblazer]

Go to the desert by yourself and scream.

There is no desert near here so I go out on my deck and scream and hope the neighbors don't hear me.

 

[Brian2]

There is no desert near here so I go out on my deck and scream and hope the neighbors don't hear me.

You could scream into a pillow but it's not the same.
And sometimes screaming is not enough. Crying can help.

 

[Trailblazer]

You could scream into a pillow but it's not the same.
And sometimes screaming is not enough. Crying can help.

I do not scream much anymore and I am too numb to cry. So much for your loving Christian God, as I just told Duane on the other thread. I guess God is on an extended lunch break.

I sure hope you are doing better than I am lately. It has nothing to do with the virus, so I don't think my life will improve when this thing blows over.

 

[Brian2]

I do not scream much anymore and I am too numb to cry. So much for your loving Christian God, as I just told Duane on the other thread. I guess God is on an extended lunch break.

I sure hope you are doing better than I am lately. It has nothing to do with the virus, so I don't think my life will improve when this thing blows over.

What's the problem is you don't mind me asking.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I hypothesize that pain and suffering is cyclical and contagious, that our pain and suffering can infect others around us, that the root of pain and suffering is deeply rooted in the personal past. I suppose the practical question would be, how do we release all our personal pain and suffering without infecting others?

In my experience, it is attachments that bring suffering and pain. Renunciation of these attachments brings cessation of pain and suffering.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Go to the desert by yourself and scream.

Is there a significance to the need to be in a desert to do this? Does this bring forth a permanent release of suffering? Or is this a temporary solution, throwing a band-aid over the suffering, so to speak?

 

[Trailblazer]

What's the problem is you don't mind me asking.

No, I don't mind and thanks for asking.... It is mostly about the cats, again.

 

[Brian2]

Is there a significance to the need to be in a desert to do this? Does this bring forth a permanent release of suffering? Or is this a temporary solution, throwing a band-aid over the suffering, so to speak?

The desert is if you are embarrassed to scream in public. It is a temporary solution.

 

[Brian2]

No, I don't mind and thanks for asking.... It is mostly about the cats, again.

I imagine you will have on going cat trauma and the more cats you have the more trauma.