Pagan? But Feel like something is missing...

[LisaG]

I was not raised in a faith, but went to a CofE village school and even remember getting my first bible. My parents at the time were not religious at all and I was never christened. Flash forward to my teenage years I began researching different faiths as felt something was missing, I tried being wiccan, but that never really fit and then 5 years ago found Asatru, but it feels like a forced match. After much thinking I believe I fell into paganism as I grew up in the deep countryside, in the westcountry where traditional festivals still happen, harvest is celebrated, spring is celebrated, may pole dancing and lots of traditional ol' wives tales and folklore. I think perhaps I was trying to recreate the sense of belonging I had as a child, in adulthood.

I shall be honest, while I certainly believe in honouring your ancestors and those that came before you, I have gone through some very challenging times, and during those times find myself drawn toward God and Jesus, and then my brain swats them away with the words, "you're pagan." I think also, am tired of seeing such aggression from those around me who are against all other faiths, while I accept and am interesting in peoples faiths, I think I believe that the universe reveals itself to us differently.

Am not sure I am making much sense. I do feel drawn to Catholicism. My father converted and my step mum is catholic, but I feel like I have been judging christian faiths unfairly due to meeting some not so nice people. Two years ago I was stalked by a woman who was catholic and unfairly tainted the whole faith by her actions.

Also, part of me misses the community feel of a faith, and perhaps I sought that in paganism never quite found it, and it never felt right in my heart. I am a supporter of LGBT rights so I think perhaps I was swayed by the media in turning my back on Christianity..am not sure... guess am just on the long road looking for answers.

 

[George-ananda]

Have you ever considered eastern beliefs like universal consciousness of which we are all a part, and that we are in the process of learning our way back to that Oneness with that All through gradual evolution and reincarnation. I was raised Catholic and turned my back on it (as something illogical as judged by my arrogant teenage wisdom), tried different things but now feel firmly planted in eastern concepts. I believe the west has produced greater material advancements but the east/India has clearly led the world in spiritual advancement. For many years Hinduism all seemed like a confusing weird mess to me until I focused on the simple basics.

Just more for you to consider

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I was not raised in a faith, but went to a CofE village school and even remember getting my first bible. My parents at the time were not religious at all and I was never christened. Flash forward to my teenage years I began researching different faiths as felt something was missing, I tried being wiccan, but that never really fit and then 5 years ago found Asatru, but it feels like a forced match. After much thinking I believe I fell into paganism as I grew up in the deep countryside, in the westcountry where traditional festivals still happen, harvest is celebrated, spring is celebrated, may pole dancing and lots of traditional ol' wives tales and folklore. I think perhaps I was trying to recreate the sense of belonging I had as a child, in adulthood.

I shall be honest, while I certainly believe in honouring your ancestors and those that came before you, I have gone through some very challenging times, and during those times find myself drawn toward God and Jesus, and then my brain swats them away with the words, "you're pagan." I think also, am tired of seeing such aggression from those around me who are against all other faiths, while I accept and am interesting in peoples faiths, I think I believe that the universe reveals itself to us differently.

Am not sure I am making much sense. I do feel drawn to Catholicism. My father converted and my step mum is catholic, but I feel like I have been judging christian faiths unfairly due to meeting some not so nice people. Two years ago I was stalked by a woman who was catholic and unfairly tainted the whole faith by her actions.

Also, part of me misses the community feel of a faith, and perhaps I sought that in paganism never quite found it, and it never felt right in my heart. I am a supporter of LGBT rights so I think perhaps I was swayed by the media in turning my back on Christianity..am not sure... guess am just on the long road looking for answers.

This may sound odd from a non-christian but I practice Catholicism out of four years of my adult life and I loved every bit of it. I don't want to push it on you; and, have you developed a prayer life? In most religions there is a foundation of a devotional or prayer life in their routine or spontaneous rituals living. Maybe spending time in the Catholic Church and praying about it may help. That's what I did when I spoke to God and tried to figure out how he is Jesus at the same time. Then I learned more through Mary, and found out my perception of god is completely different than Catholics all because of Jesus. Maybe get to know Jesus in the Eucharist. It seems like Catholic Churches are different everywhere because the local Church I went to are very nice but I just don't like the Church political side. It stumps my spiritual growth.

Paganism is a flourish of different beliefs under one umbrella. Given it's Eureopean in nature, I wouldn't call myself a pagan like I used to. I'm more honoring my African and African American roots so the names and practices are different. However, in addition to devotional and prayer life, honoring ancestors seem to be denominate in older faiths unlike some younger forms of protestant Christianity (except JW) where that's near but none within their religious practices. How do you see your ancestors? Are you close to them? Do you know your family history? It doesn't have to "look" religious but just asking them for help and learning about how you are connected to them will give you more of a "pagan" grounding.

It's also good you have festivals in your area. I've only been to one but the festivals here aren't for the public. Talk with the people at the festival. Also, if you find a priest that you really really trust maybe you can have a good conversation about your pagan views without being told you are wrong. I had that. We talked about my beliefs, the beliefs of the Church, how I saw the Church, and so forth.

It's really also in my opinion finding people you trust to have a social support. That's one of many reasons people go to Jesus because they can't do it alone.

 

[LisaG]

Paganism is a flourish of different beliefs under one umbrella. Given it's Eureopean in nature, I wouldn't call myself a pagan like I used to. I'm more honoring my African and African American roots so the names and practices are different. However, in addition to devotional and prayer life, honoring ancestors seem to be denominate in older faiths unlike some younger forms of protestant Christianity (except JW) where that's near but none within their religious practices. How do you see your ancestors? Are you close to them? Do you know your family history? It doesn't have to "look" religious but just asking them for help and learning about how you are connected to them will give you more of a "pagan" grounding.

For me, my ancestors are always with me, watching, guiding. We, as a family know a great deal about our history and where we came from, and for me, when I think of my ancestors, it's to gain strength, as they went through struggles, and without their struggles would not be here.

It's also good you have festivals in your area. I've only been to one but the festivals here aren't for the public. Talk with the people at the festival. Also, if you find a priest that you really really trust maybe you can have a good conversation about your pagan views without being told you are wrong. I had that. We talked about my beliefs, the beliefs of the Church, how I saw the Church, and so forth.

I have moved recently, and no longer in the country side, so the festivals are not as active around here. I would really like to visit a church, though not sure many in our area have an open door policy and are only open for services, though shall keep searching. I guess, part of me is scared about contacting a Priest and making the first step, though not sure if it's fear, anxiety or excitement.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Hm. In my opinion, I'd start with your ancestors. It doesn't have to be a pagan belief or practice but I know in Catholicism, reverence of the Saints and people of the Bible are basically our (Christians) ancestors. So, revering the Saints and finding a Saint you can connect with would be good until you find a good priest and can push yourself to say high. I understand the apprehension, believe me.

For me, my ancestors are always with me, watching, guiding. We, as a family know a great deal about our history and where we came from, and for me, when I think of my ancestors, it's to gain strength, as they went through struggles, and without their struggles would not be here.

I guess my comment is the same as above. Though, even without the Church, one can still follow a faith within the communion of one's ancestors. Even if it's going to Church without Mass (though, incomplete in my opinion), may be a start. Talk with other Catholics and get a feel of the faith. That and find a priest with jeans on and a t-shirt (believe me, I saw one and he played the drums at our festival). Maybe, if it happens in a miracle, that would ease some things a bit.

I have moved recently, and no longer in the country side, so the festivals are not as active around here. I would really like to visit a church, though not sure many in our area have an open door policy and are only open for services, though shall keep searching. I guess, part of me is scared about contacting a Priest and making the first step, though not sure if it's fear, anxiety or excitement.

Other than spending time with the Eucharist and talking with other Catholics and pro-Catholic Christians, maybe ask them for advice of getting to the point of talking to the priest. I know priests here make home visits. We live in a community residential housing so there is a Church on the fourth floor for both Catholic and protestant worship. The priest comes for Mass and if he has time, short-time confession as well.

I live in a Catholic community; but, online reaching out may be a good bet especially since you're not on the country side anymore.

 

[LisaG]

I have contacted my local priest, from what I have seen there is a vast catholic network where I am, thanks to having a beautiful cathedral. I was very down last night, but also more affirmed in my journey. I am unmarried and have a child from a previous relationship while cohabiting with a new partner, and am starting to feel guilty about this, but also a little sad that my partner is not joining me on this journey. He is very supportive but is an atheist and while we have lovely theological conversations and he knows this journey is important to me, it makes me feel... down? Does that make sense?