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Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Well, I ventured out of the house and into public wearing dhoti/veshti southern wrap style last night. I usually wear it Vrindavan style. Given that, ‘veshti’ will henceforth be used for southern style, and ‘dhoti’ for northern.
On one hand it’s pretty easy, but on the other hand it’s not all that easy. It’s easy enough to wrap but getting it nice and straight with a vertical stripe, and be secure is a little tricky. At least in the beginning. Safety pins and twine help. Yeah, I use a length of hemp twine around my waist like a drawstring.
I wore the veshti and it’s angavastram over my shoulder, and a nice long sleeve collared shirt. When the manager saw me he gave a big smile, put his hands out as if to say “look at you!” and took my hands. I said “you like?” He said “perfect”.
But when I went into the temple I felt so overdressed and “showing-offish”. Out of a couple hundred people (I don’t usually go on Saturday nights, so I don’t know how many people are usually there), besides the priests only three other men besides me were in veshti. Two or three grown middle-aged men were in shorts. The rest were in jeans, for the most part. Most of the women looked beautiful. I love the kaleidoscope of sari colors and patterns. A few women wore what I can only describe as spandex gym wear. I got some looks that I’m not sure we’re inquisitive, impressed or disapproval. Of course I’m dressed for God and me, and out of respect for tradition.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging because this is the central New Jersey culture. At work I usually wear what I consider to be business casual: dress slacks or Dockers type chinos, polo shirt, collared dress shirt. People say “you really look nice”. If my outfits are that dressed down can you imagine what others look like?
Anyway, there was more than once or twice last night I felt very uncomfortable and somewhat foolish. I thought from now on it’s western clothes. But knowing me I’m sure I’m looking at it all wrong.
On one hand it’s pretty easy, but on the other hand it’s not all that easy. It’s easy enough to wrap but getting it nice and straight with a vertical stripe, and be secure is a little tricky. At least in the beginning. Safety pins and twine help. Yeah, I use a length of hemp twine around my waist like a drawstring.
I wore the veshti and it’s angavastram over my shoulder, and a nice long sleeve collared shirt. When the manager saw me he gave a big smile, put his hands out as if to say “look at you!” and took my hands. I said “you like?” He said “perfect”.
But when I went into the temple I felt so overdressed and “showing-offish”. Out of a couple hundred people (I don’t usually go on Saturday nights, so I don’t know how many people are usually there), besides the priests only three other men besides me were in veshti. Two or three grown middle-aged men were in shorts. The rest were in jeans, for the most part. Most of the women looked beautiful. I love the kaleidoscope of sari colors and patterns. A few women wore what I can only describe as spandex gym wear. I got some looks that I’m not sure we’re inquisitive, impressed or disapproval. Of course I’m dressed for God and me, and out of respect for tradition.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging because this is the central New Jersey culture. At work I usually wear what I consider to be business casual: dress slacks or Dockers type chinos, polo shirt, collared dress shirt. People say “you really look nice”. If my outfits are that dressed down can you imagine what others look like?
Anyway, there was more than once or twice last night I felt very uncomfortable and somewhat foolish. I thought from now on it’s western clothes. But knowing me I’m sure I’m looking at it all wrong.
Well, I ventured out of the house and into public wearing dhoti/veshti southern wrap style last night. I usually wear it Vrindavan style. Given that, ‘veshti’ will henceforth be used for southern style, and ‘dhoti’ for northern.
On one hand it’s pretty easy, but on the other hand it’s not all that easy. It’s easy enough to wrap but getting it nice and straight with a vertical stripe, and be secure is a little tricky. At least in the beginning. Safety pins and twine help. Yeah, I use a length of hemp twine around my waist like a drawstring.
I wore the veshti and it’s angavastram over my shoulder, and a nice long sleeve collared shirt. When the manager saw me he gave a big smile, put his hands out as if to say “look at you!” and took my hands. I said “you like?” He said “perfect”.
But when I went into the temple I felt so overdressed and “showing-offish”. Out of a couple hundred people (I don’t usually go on Saturday nights, so I don’t know how many people are usually there), besides the priests only three other men besides me were in veshti. Two or three grown middle-aged men were in shorts. The rest were in jeans, for the most part. Most of the women looked beautiful. I love the kaleidoscope of sari colors and patterns. A few women wore what I can only describe as spandex gym wear. I got some looks that I’m not sure we’re inquisitive, impressed or disapproval. Of course I’m dressed for God and me, and out of respect for tradition.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging because this is the central New Jersey culture. At work I usually wear what I consider to be business casual: dress slacks or Dockers type chinos, polo shirt, collared dress shirt. People say “you really look nice”. If my outfits are that dressed down can you imagine what others look like?
Anyway, there was more than once or twice last night I felt very uncomfortable and somewhat foolish. I thought from now on it’s western clothes. But knowing me I’m sure I’m looking at it all wrong.
Nice. One of the long term effects of wearing veshti is that you eventually notice that it is incredibly comfortable, especially for sitting. Certainly that's one of my primary reasons for wearing it now. But it depends on temple too. North style temples I wear kurta and loose western slacks. Next fall we're driving to Toronto. That ought to be interesting for this. Will probably hit about a dozen temples, maybe more.
Here, the change is slow, but more and more men are showing up in veshti these days. Maybe as high as 10% even. I actually convinced one elder Tamil to always wear veshti. All I said was 'Somebody should keep this tradition." He told me he went home and thought hard about that, and changed from then on.
The gender double standard bothers me too.
Yes, it was very comfortable, very roomy. I can do a little better wrapping and fitting it now that know how. I’m going to look around for a kurta or three. I’ve seen a few men wearing very nice ones.
One Sunday morning a few years ago an older lady complimented me and said, motioning to her husband “I wish he’d dress like that”. He got a sheepish look on his face. So I know there are people that are impressed and flattered.
It seems that when people come to the US/Canada they want nothing to do with their old country, language or customs. I think that’s a shame.
One Sunday morning a few years ago an older lady complimented me and said, motioning to her husband “I wish he’d dress like that”. He got a sheepish look on his face. So I know there are people that are impressed and flattered.
It seems that when people come to the US/Canada they want nothing to do with their old country, language or customs. I think that’s a shame.
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Impressed, inquisitive, shared fun, surprise, all that is OK; but why will there be disapproval? That is not our way, for sure.
Perhaps initially; but then the memory of the land comes up strong. Whatever it is, poor, disordered, fun, sorrow, kind, cruel; but it still is home. Home is magnetic.
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No doubt you're right. I've just been feeling a bit down on myself and self-conscious lately. Part of it is the feeling of being perceived as "showing off". Reason: a Greek man I know saw my tattoo (in ancient Greek) and gruffly asked if I knew what it meant, knowing I'm not Greek (actually I do have a microscopic amount from my Sicilian ancestry). I said of course I did. He then said, gruffly again, so what does it mean? I went into detail about it. He said "hmmph!" and walked away.
A third party chastised me because, as he put it, people don't like it when "outsiders" tell them more about their own culture and history than they know. It's the reason I toned it down when conversing with the ladies at temple I became acquainted with.
Perhaps initially; but then the memory of the land comes up strong. Whatever it is, poor, disordered, fun, sorrow, kind, cruel; but it still is home. Home is magnetic.
Sometimes it's the 2nd or 3rd generation that gets an interest in their heritage and where their parents and grandparents came from. A couple of my coworkers tell me their kids want no part of learning Tamil, Telugu, Hindi, or whatever the family speaks. They will regret it one day, because before puberty the brain soaks up languages like a sponge. Learning a new language as an adult, they will never become as fluent as if they learned it as a child.
That said, I do see very many young families with small children dressed in traditional attire at temple, even if the parents are "westernized". I have to smile and laugh when I see them because they are so cute. Then the parents laugh and smile. Last Janmashtami one tiny boy was dressed as Krishna... peacock feather, bansuri (I want to learn how to play one
) and all. It was the cutest thing you ever saw.
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Oh, the Mahavidyas. You are doing it right. Surely, they know better than any of us.It's the reason I toned it down when conversing with the ladies at temple I became acquainted with.
A couple of my coworkers tell me their kids want no part of learning Tamil, Telugu, Hindi, or whatever the family speaks. They will regret it one day, because before puberty the brain soaks up languages like a sponge. Learning a new language as an adult, they will never become as fluent as if they learned it as a child.
That said, I do see very many young families with small children dressed in traditional attire at temple, even if the parents are "westernized". I have to smile and laugh when I see them because they are so cute. Then the parents laugh and smile. Last Janmashtami one tiny boy was dressed as Krishna... peacock feather, bansuri (I want to learn how to play one
True again.
That is because it is the outer appearance. It does not really matter, especially before the deities. They already know us thoroughly. People may be completely different inside. I do not paint a vermilion swastika on my bald head (I am not bald, but the hair have thinned worryingly. At one time, combs broke when I combed my hair).
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Well kids... whatever funk I was or whatever was clouding me about going to temple has lifted. I went to temple tonight, not setting myself up with any preconceived notions or expectations. I tend to overthink things, y'know. Anyway, it was a quiet night. You could probably count the number of people on two hands and two feet, if even that many. Had aartis, darshan, prasadam, Mahamangala Aarti... typical day at the office, er... temple. One of the priests asked me if it was 7:00 yet. I said 6:59... yep, 7:00. It was just the two of us for jai jagadisha hare. I held my own. I understand a little of the words, but I can sing it nonetheless. Then some others came by.
Then the fun started. I got tripled teamed by the priests. See, I'm apparently the Beard Guru.
As they approached me I put out my arms and said (not too quietly I might add... well, it is the acoustics) "there's my beard boys!" I know, really? Priests... beard boys!? They laughed. One of them asked when his would fill in. I said it all depends on his genetics. The one who has the baby on the way said that after the baby is born he has to shave it off. We chatted a while about that, The third one asked about vitamins. I told him biotin and other B vitamins is good for hair and beards, but especially biotin. I use it m'self.
So I finally came clean to the young one, the one with the baby on the way, that I'm not married to a woman, but to another guy. I told him I felt very dishonest and owed him the courtesy of being honest that I'm gay. At first I thought it didn't register because he asked about 'her'. I thought oh well, leave it alone. But then after I got home (who's slow on the uptake?) I thought "wait, I'll bet he thinks I was married to a woman, but then "turned gay" and am with another man". I remembered he asked if I ever see her. Well, he did say he watches tv and movies.
What doesn't seem to register, however, is being able to remember my name. I mean, it doesn't have 55 letters. My real name is Frank, but I guess it's not a very common name in Indian circles. He repeated it as if trying to memorize it. So I said 'that's ok Raghavan, you can call me Jay. My middle name is Jason, I tell people they can call me Jay". He said "oh Jay! ok". Then I said "yeah, and on the internet I use Jainarayan". At that his eyes got big and open, and his face lit up. I think he got it.
Anyway, it was a quiet night. You could probably count the number of people on two hands and two feet, if even that many. Had aartis, darshan, prasadam, Mahamangala Aarti... typical day at the office, er... temple. One of the priests asked me if it was 7:00 yet. I said 6:59... yep, 7:00. It was just the two of us for jai jagadisha hare. I held my own. I understand a little of the words, but I can sing it nonetheless. Then some others came by.Then the fun started. I got tripled teamed by the priests. See, I'm apparently the Beard Guru.
As they approached me I put out my arms and said (not too quietly I might add... well, it is the acoustics) "there's my beard boys!" I know, really? Priests... beard boys!? They laughed. One of them asked when his would fill in. I said it all depends on his genetics. The one who has the baby on the way said that after the baby is born he has to shave it off. We chatted a while about that, The third one asked about vitamins. I told him biotin and other B vitamins is good for hair and beards, but especially biotin. I use it m'self.
So I finally came clean to the young one, the one with the baby on the way, that I'm not married to a woman, but to another guy. I told him I felt very dishonest and owed him the courtesy of being honest that I'm gay. At first I thought it didn't register because he asked about 'her'. I thought oh well, leave it alone. But then after I got home (who's slow on the uptake?) I thought "wait, I'll bet he thinks I was married to a woman, but then "turned gay" and am with another man". I remembered he asked if I ever see her. Well, he did say he watches tv and movies.
What doesn't seem to register, however, is being able to remember my name. I mean, it doesn't have 55 letters. My real name is Frank, but I guess it's not a very common name in Indian circles. He repeated it as if trying to memorize it. So I said 'that's ok Raghavan, you can call me Jay. My middle name is Jason, I tell people they can call me Jay". He said "oh Jay! ok". Then I said "yeah, and on the internet I use Jainarayan". At that his eyes got big and open, and his face lit up. I think he got it.
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Son going to Switzerland, Germany for singing performance. Happy but also think that rather than singing he should pay attention to his job. These multintionals are ruthless.
Amitabh Reu
Amitabh Reu
Slow on uptake. Frank also is not too difficult. But that is OK.So I said 'that's OK Raghavan, you can call me Jay. My middle name is Jason, I tell people they can call me Jay". He said "oh Jay! OK". Then I said "yeah, and on the internet I use Jainarayan". At that his eyes got big and open, and his face lit up. I think he got it.
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I'm thinking about starting to learn Devanagari and Sanskrit more seriously. I'm not exactly sure to what end except to be able to read and understand. Most everything is transliterated into English, though sometimes it leaves a lot to be desired. Maybe reading in the original Sanskrit is not such a bad idea, if not somewhat daunting.
I was last night years old when I learned that when I use Devanagari to write my name, I've been doing it wrong. I transliterated it as जैनारायण् but that's wrong, and here's why. That's the literal Devanagari of the romanized transliteration of Hindi pronunciation Jainārāyaṇ. Got that? The spelling in both Sanskrit and Hindi is जयनारायण Jayanārāyaṇa but the Hindi pronunciation is sort of like 'jeh-naa-raa-yun'. Those wild and ka-raaazy Indians! A kind soul at the Sanskrit and Sanskrit Literature reddit pointed me in the right direction. He (or she) said I actually was on the right track when I explained what I understood. So that was encouraging. Maybe I'm not so dumb after all.
Seriously, I found this page Sanskrit Dictionary for Spoken Sanskrit that will take a word in Latin script and transliterate it into Devanagari. But, as I found out, you have to know something of the proper spelling, pronunciation and inflection. And while I royally mangled my own name, I think I got this right...
HK (ASCII): kRSNaH - nominative (reference to, naming)
Devanagari: कृष्णः
IAST: kṛṣṇaḥ
HK (ASCII): kRSNa - vocative (O Krishna!)
Devanagari: कृष्ण
IAST: kṛṣṇa
HK (ASCII): kRSNAya - dative (to/for Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णाय
IAST: kṛṣṇāya
HK (ASCII): kRSNasya - genitive (Krishna's, of Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णस्य
IAST: kṛṣṇasya
HK (ASCII): kRSNam - accusative ("I love Krishnaḥ", direct object of a verb)
Devanagari: कृष्णम्
IAST: kṛṣṇam
HK (ASCII): kRSNeNa - instrumental (with, through, by Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णेण
IAST: kṛṣṇeṇa
HK (ASCII): kRSNe - locative (near by, close to, far from, Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णे
IAST: kṛṣṇe
HK (ASCII): kRSNAt - ablative (from; with, by; and in, at Krishna, sort of a combination of the other cases)
Devanagari: कृष्णात्
IAST: kṛṣṇāt
So there we have Krishna inflected in the masc. singular for all eight cases. Call me butter, 'cause I'm on a roll!
So, do you care? Nope, didn't think so.
I was last night years old when I learned that when I use Devanagari to write my name, I've been doing it wrong.
I transliterated it as जैनारायण् but that's wrong, and here's why. That's the literal Devanagari of the romanized transliteration of Hindi pronunciation Jainārāyaṇ. Got that? The spelling in both Sanskrit and Hindi is जयनारायण Jayanārāyaṇa but the Hindi pronunciation is sort of like 'jeh-naa-raa-yun'. Those wild and ka-raaazy Indians! A kind soul at the Sanskrit and Sanskrit Literature reddit pointed me in the right direction. He (or she) said I actually was on the right track when I explained what I understood. So that was encouraging. Maybe I'm not so dumb after all. Seriously, I found this page Sanskrit Dictionary for Spoken Sanskrit that will take a word in Latin script and transliterate it into Devanagari. But, as I found out, you have to know something of the proper spelling, pronunciation and inflection. And while I royally mangled my own name, I think I got this right...
HK (ASCII): kRSNaH - nominative (reference to, naming)
Devanagari: कृष्णः
IAST: kṛṣṇaḥ
HK (ASCII): kRSNa - vocative (O Krishna!)
Devanagari: कृष्ण
IAST: kṛṣṇa
HK (ASCII): kRSNAya - dative (to/for Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णाय
IAST: kṛṣṇāya
HK (ASCII): kRSNasya - genitive (Krishna's, of Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णस्य
IAST: kṛṣṇasya
HK (ASCII): kRSNam - accusative ("I love Krishnaḥ", direct object of a verb)
Devanagari: कृष्णम्
IAST: kṛṣṇam
HK (ASCII): kRSNeNa - instrumental (with, through, by Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णेण
IAST: kṛṣṇeṇa
HK (ASCII): kRSNe - locative (near by, close to, far from, Krishna)
Devanagari: कृष्णे
IAST: kṛṣṇe
HK (ASCII): kRSNAt - ablative (from; with, by; and in, at Krishna, sort of a combination of the other cases)
Devanagari: कृष्णात्
IAST: kṛṣṇāt
So there we have Krishna inflected in the masc. singular for all eight cases. Call me butter, 'cause I'm on a roll!
So, do you care? Nope, didn't think so.
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
I will agree to that but the pronunciation of जयनारायण (Jaya Nārāyaṇa) is exactly the same in Hindi as well as Samskrit... but the Hindi pronunciation is sort of like 'jeh-naa-raa-yun'. Those wild and ka-raaazy Indians!
Y’know, I would have thought so given that the spelling is Sanskrit, and it’s actually a Sanskrit phrase.
Maybe over time it became a shortened version, like we do in English. Henry becomes Hank, Francis becomes Frank, James and Jason become Jay etc.
My first abhishekam today for Janmashtami. I wouldn’t call it a total failure but there are things I can do better. It seems to have taken forever. Probably because I never did one before.
I had all my little kalashas lined up with the items in them... milk, curds, honey water, fruit juices, turmeric water, sandalwood water, rose water.
Do not use cottage cheese, even mixed with yogurt and thinned with a bit of milk. That was my idea of dadhi, curds. The curds get lodged in every corner and crevice. So, off to the kitchen sink we go.
Honey should be mixed with warm water.
I have a small tray with a spout. It sits on a small pedestal. You place the murti on the tray. It catches the run-off and channels it into a cup or bowl. Which can quickly overflow if you’re not careful.
And I’m not so sure water needs to be poured over the murti after every item,.
But I did it anyway. I also circled the lamp after each offering.
I actually enjoyed doing it. It was like I had a one-on-one visit with God. Even though I flubbed a lot, I still felt good about it.
I had all my little kalashas lined up with the items in them... milk, curds, honey water, fruit juices, turmeric water, sandalwood water, rose water.
Do not use cottage cheese, even mixed with yogurt and thinned with a bit of milk. That was my idea of dadhi, curds. The curds get lodged in every corner and crevice. So, off to the kitchen sink we go.
Honey should be mixed with warm water.
I have a small tray with a spout. It sits on a small pedestal. You place the murti on the tray. It catches the run-off and channels it into a cup or bowl. Which can quickly overflow if you’re not careful.
And I’m not so sure water needs to be poured over the murti after every item,.
But I did it anyway. I also circled the lamp after each offering. I actually enjoyed doing it. It was like I had a one-on-one visit with God. Even though I flubbed a lot, I still felt good about it.