I know some Modern Orthodox couples that don't do separate beds, and don't refrain from all contact, only sexual contact.
To be honest, before i came onto these forums, to me and to everyone I know, there weren't really Orthodox, Modern Orthodox, Reform, Conservative, Renewal or anything like that.
To us, it was "religious", "very religious", "kind of religious", "not so religious", and so on...
So where I come from, and in my entourage, we are all considered Orthodox. But within this group, there will be Orthodox Jews who will use electricity on Shabbat, and other stuff that are permitted to Reform Jews. They might even eat Pork, but still be considered orthodox. They "know and agree" that what they are doing is a sin, and so for that reason, they call themselves Orthodox. Or in many cases, they just grew up Orthodox, and once grown up, religion just wasn't all that important to them, so they kept the title of Orthodox even though they don't act like Orthodox Jews.
Now in our communities, the "religious Jews" will abide to the laws of Niddah.
Which are the restrictions exactly and how do they work for day to day life? What changes? How? Etc.
I'll try to explain efficiently.
The people who do follow these laws have a few things they need to do, and this is how it goes.
A woman is supposed to be a virgin until her wedding night. After the wedding night, she will have intercourse with her husband, and then be considered Niddah. A woman starts her period of Niddah when she bleeds from the hymen, or when she has menstual discharge.
Once she is Niddah, she needs to check herself everyday using a white cloth to see if there are any stains on it. After the first day that the cloth is without stain, the woman will count 4 or 5 days. (4 is for sephardic Jews, 5 is for Ashkenazi Jews). During those five days she keeps checking to see if there are any stains. If during those 4-5 days the cloth is completely clean, then she proceeds to dip in a Mikveh (purification ritual, consisting of dipping in a pool of water that derives from a natural source). After the Mikveh, she is considered pure again, and no longer Niddah.
During the whole Niddah period, a woman cannot touch any man, including her husband. These religious Jews I was talking about will sleep in separate beds, they will not pass an item from one to the other. They will not eat from the same bowl. They will not hand a baby from one to the other.
Because we don't know when women who are not our wives are Niddah, many of these Jews (both men and women) will call themselves Shomer Neguia. Literally, that means "Observant of touch". What it actually means it that these people will not touch anyone of the opposite sex who is not their spouse, ever. This is done simply to avoid "spreading" the impurity of Niddah.
In social situations, most people will not even realize. Our Rabbis teach us not to make a big deal out of this to people who are not at the same level. For example, if I am Shomer Neguiah, and a woman I haven't seen in a while runs up to me and hugs me out of no where, I shouldn't push her away and make her feel bad. Instead I should hug her back, and then respectfully explain to her why I no longer touch women. I work in an establishment with roughly 350 employees from which 300 are women. I have started being Shomer Neguiah since about two years ago, and I can't say anyone of them realized or has told me anything.
