PoetPhilosopher
Veteran Member
I'm getting back on my feet in terms of wellness I think, but I'm not sure I'm everything I want to be. I'll talk to pretty much anyone publicly on RF, or usually have a brief chat with someone privately, but for prolonged chats, I have to weigh how much that person is going to value my time/friendship and whether they will bring me down by being at a worse place than me on an emotional stability level, because I can't really handle much worse than myself at this time. I am like the tweenage TV shows where I'm the weird friend and I get along best with some intellectual thinker who thinks things through sanely.
That's not to say I'm bad off. I'm just not ready to try and help other people with deep subjects like their Bipolar or gender dysphoria and some other problems and offering much emotional support on such things. I'm not the type that freaks out about it, but it weighs on me at this time.
I thought about turning my PM box off to be fair to everyone, since there may be a certain amount of unfairness seen in choosing to be friends with some people and not others, but I have also gotten some great messages too and don't necessarily want to give that up.
I know a couple of people have been affected by these demons I'm not ready to face, and perhaps also by the smugness I have about improving and not letting anything stand in my way, and by me following thoughts through to conclusion with razor-sharpness rather than a "let's see what happens / let destiny decide" mindset.
I'll focus more right now on my public presence on RF though, I tried to venture into focusing more on personal relationships and wasn't quite ready for it. One area I'd like to improve on is being understood better. Even I can see times where people, regardless of their walk in life, might misinterpret something I say. Then I think something like "Why did I say it that way? My thoughtful message might be misinterpreted as an intention to sow discord."
That's not to say I'm bad off. I'm just not ready to try and help other people with deep subjects like their Bipolar or gender dysphoria and some other problems and offering much emotional support on such things. I'm not the type that freaks out about it, but it weighs on me at this time.
I thought about turning my PM box off to be fair to everyone, since there may be a certain amount of unfairness seen in choosing to be friends with some people and not others, but I have also gotten some great messages too and don't necessarily want to give that up.
I know a couple of people have been affected by these demons I'm not ready to face, and perhaps also by the smugness I have about improving and not letting anything stand in my way, and by me following thoughts through to conclusion with razor-sharpness rather than a "let's see what happens / let destiny decide" mindset.
I'll focus more right now on my public presence on RF though, I tried to venture into focusing more on personal relationships and wasn't quite ready for it. One area I'd like to improve on is being understood better. Even I can see times where people, regardless of their walk in life, might misinterpret something I say. Then I think something like "Why did I say it that way? My thoughtful message might be misinterpreted as an intention to sow discord."
