OCD and my many faiths

[LilyPhoenix]

Some of you must be wondering why i change my faith so often
I have OCD i was given the diagnoses 6 months ago ( I think it was 6 months ago )
My faith has gone from Christianity to Wicca to Islam to Buddhist to Hinduism
And back to Christianity

I also have blasphemous thoughts as well some times am ok other times am feeling really bad for going from one faith to another
Am trying to stay focused on Jesus and hopefully my OCD will get better av been waiting 6 months for therapy my psych is chasing them up to see when i will get it
am on medication and have had it up'ed but i had to reduce it because i kept getting tics ( jumping movements ) so i cant take a lot of it

Also with my OCD i clean my hands a lot and i have thoughts that am going to hit people if they are too near or if they touch me
i cant even go to the hairdressers with out panicking
My husband has to go everywhere with me as my thoughts obsess about hurting people or hitting them
I also hear voices as well telling me what to do and what not to do
They are with me all the time and i cant get them to stop even with medication am on 2 anti psychotics and an anti depressants and a anti anxiety
Am unsure if the things with the faiths are part of the OCD or not
Am trying
also am obssed with praying as well i pray over and over
for people i know and people i dont know
I also panic about the end of the world i dont want people to die i dont want to die

Please pray for me

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

*hugs* I wish you all the best! *hugs again*

 

[crossfire]

Hi DarkAsylum. I'm sorry you are having difficulty.

It's ok to learn about other faiths. It helps you to understand yourself and others better, and see other points of view. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's quite healthy actually, imo.

Have you tried any type of meditation to go with your prayer? Prayer is asking. Meditation is listening. Balancing out talking with listening is a healthy thing to do.

It might be difficult to meditate and to listen at first-- just pay attention to your breath--listen to your breath. Watch your thoughts arise and watch them pass.

I hope this is helpful to you. **hugs**

 

[Jainarayan]

Some of you must be wondering why i change my faith so often
I have OCD i was given the diagnoses 6 months ago ( I think it was 6 months ago )
My faith has gone from Christianity to Wicca to Islam to Buddhist to Hinduism
And back to Christianity

I don't wonder about it at all, because I too, having ocpd, bipolar and most likely Asperger's, have examined, re-examined, re-examined my re-examinations and tried to put labels on what I believe. My labels have ranged from Hindu to Hinduddhist to Dharmic Panendeist to Buddhist Humanism (there's also Humanist Buddhism ). Sometimes you can't put a label, you just believe what you you believe. One of the worst things humans ever learned to do is to categorize and label things.

As for your other concerns and issues, I think there are few people here qualified to give answers, advice and help. That's best left to professionals, which you are doing. It's not an overnight process to get some semblence of balance. However, I think people can give a shoulder and an ear, though, as well as sending mettā (thoughts of loving kindness, goodwill, and compassion), which I am sending.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Some of you must be wondering why i change my faith so often
I have OCD i was given the diagnoses 6 months ago ( I think it was 6 months ago )
My faith has gone from Christianity to Wicca to Islam to Buddhist to Hinduism
And back to Christianity

I also have blasphemous thoughts as well some times am ok other times am feeling really bad for going from one faith to another
Am trying to stay focused on Jesus and hopefully my OCD will get better av been waiting 6 months for therapy my psych is chasing them up to see when i will get it
am on medication and have had it up'ed but i had to reduce it because i kept getting tics ( jumping movements ) so i cant take a lot of it

Also with my OCD i clean my hands a lot and i have thoughts that am going to hit people if they are too near or if they touch me
i cant even go to the hairdressers with out panicking
My husband has to go everywhere with me as my thoughts obsess about hurting people or hitting them
I also hear voices as well telling me what to do and what not to do
They are with me all the time and i cant get them to stop even with medication am on 2 anti psychotics and an anti depressants and a anti anxiety
Am unsure if the things with the faiths are part of the OCD or not
Am trying
also am obssed with praying as well i pray over and over
for people i know and people i dont know
I also panic about the end of the world i dont want people to die i dont want to die

Please pray for me

You just live life as you live it. Do what you can and don't forget to take your medicine.
Take good care of yourself.

 

[sacredmeow]

Hugs to you! I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I suffer from obsessive thoughts myself when my anxiety is bad, as well as trichotillomania/dermotillomania (mostly focused on face blemishes/eyebrows). I've found that medications can make the OCD and anxiety much worse than off of it, but that's just me. I have depression, too, and I've yet to find a happy mixture with faith and medication (I can't live with the side-effects and flat-affect.)

One thing that really works for me is mindfulness training. You don't have to be a Buddhist to benefit from practicing mindfulness. It's my anti-drug for stopping panic attacks. Lao Tzu has a quote that kind of resonates with me, that goes, "If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." While I firmly believe that anxiety/depression can have strictly chemical origins, there's something therapeutic about being able to pull myself out of my thoughts and simply focus on what is happening in the moment. It takes a little power out of overwhelming thoughts. Instead of thinking, "I'm going to hit someone," simply try to think, "I am having a thought about hitting someone."

I highly recommend "The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation" by Thich Nhat Hanh. And also, while I haven't read it yet (it's on my bookshelf as a to-do), "Thoughts Without a Thinker" by Mark Epstein is reviewed to be a good read.

I sincerely hope that you are able to find some peace. The meanie thoughts really do make it hard to blossom in this world.

 

[Parsimony]

This reminds me of my teenage years. I had OCD pretty bad during that time period and it trickled into my religious life as well. Any and all passing thoughts that even might be sinful required immediate and perfectly rehearsed prayer. Didn't say it exactly right the first time? Start over! It was amazingly stressful. After getting on Paxil, it did help a good bit. In addition to the medication as well as reason, practice and willpower, I have managed to pare down my OCD significantly in my religious walk. Talking to a pastor about your problems can help, I've found.

 

[Northern Lights]

Some of you must be wondering why i change my faith so often
I have OCD i was given the diagnoses 6 months ago ( I think it was 6 months ago )
My faith has gone from Christianity to Wicca to Islam to Buddhist to Hinduism
And back to Christianity

I also have blasphemous thoughts as well some times am ok other times am feeling really bad for going from one faith to another
Am trying to stay focused on Jesus and hopefully my OCD will get better av been waiting 6 months for therapy my psych is chasing them up to see when i will get it
am on medication and have had it up'ed but i had to reduce it because i kept getting tics ( jumping movements ) so i cant take a lot of it

Also with my OCD i clean my hands a lot and i have thoughts that am going to hit people if they are too near or if they touch me
i cant even go to the hairdressers with out panicking
My husband has to go everywhere with me as my thoughts obsess about hurting people or hitting them
I also hear voices as well telling me what to do and what not to do
They are with me all the time and i cant get them to stop even with medication am on 2 anti psychotics and an anti depressants and a anti anxiety
Am unsure if the things with the faiths are part of the OCD or not
Am trying
also am obssed with praying as well i pray over and over
for people i know and people i dont know
I also panic about the end of the world i dont want people to die i dont want to die

Please pray for me

It's such a hard thing to live with, and you have my prayers that your suffering at least reduces.

Not that it's comparable with what you have had to suffer, but I have suffered from General Tics Syndrome since I was 8 years old. It's exactly like Tourettes Syndrome but without any vocal 'tics' ; just the physical tics. I tic in my neck, I blink my eyes as a tic, and like you, I can't stand it if people touch me. Not a revulsion, or belief that they are dirty or anything like that. With me it is just a physical sensation - like the urge to sneeze - that it just does not feel right when someone is touching my body. The worst of it is when people you love, like my wife or my kids want to hold my hand. I so want to be able to but it just feels incredibly uncomfortable. Definiately a wiring problem in the brain! ... My theory is that the body is falsely detecting a threat (that isn't there) and causing a reaction to tell the body to act.

I take a herbal remedy called Mucuna Pruriens (also known as Velvet Bean), in 100% standardized extract ground form. (You can get it on eBay, but you must get 99% extract or greater). Once absorbed into the body, it becomes a chemical called L-Dopa, which incidentally is the first line of treatment for Parkinson's Disease. The L-Dopa is converted to Dopamine in the brain, and this can help with Tourettes, Tics, OCD and Depression.

-all of which are associated with low levels of Dopamine in the brain.

It's HUGELY helped me, and is the only medcation that has ever helped.

Sorry to go off on a tangent like that, but I hope your situation improves soon, and DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP! ... for things like your change of faith. OCD is an illness that causes compulsion, and you can not help it.

 

[Smart_Guy]

Hi DA (DarkAsylum),

Sorry to hear about your troubles. If I get it right, OCD is when you keep having doubts on things around you specially for things that you've done and keep coming beck to confirm it? I get this all the time and keep coming back to my car to check if it is really locked. Luckily I have a remote access so I can lock it remotely instead of coming back all the way back. I even avoid touching door knobs and use my elbows to open doors and switch things on! I don't shave my beard at barbers' any more, and I even use vinyl gloves when go to the bathroom! Not to mention having a shower takes like an hour! (cool, that rhymes)

Anyway, I believe that if you're worried about life and death and the afterlife, that you look for religions that deal with it, like the three Abrahamic religions. Some religions deal only with this life. I think they are called philosophies, but I'm not sure.

Last but not the least, I pray to God to guide you to the right path, solve your problems soon, and I personally advise you to be as optimistic as possible

 

[punkdbass]

I can definitely relate to the OP. I've gone in circles between Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, and Hinduism for several years now. I can often be hypercritical about myself and my actions, often leading to guilt and other negative emotions. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD, but my counselor says it seems that I have an obsessive personality, and also a "suggestive" personality.

As for advice: everyone is different.. all I can recommend is continue with medication, counseling - when done together this has proven to be a pretty effective combo in helping psychiatric disorders. But secondly, I strongly encourage you to develop some sort of practice of mindfulness and meditation. The cure/solution for one who often suffers from obsessing over things, is to learn how to let go. "Letting go" appears sooooooooooooooo difficult at first for people who struggle with obsessive habits, but it's the only solution I know and you have to start somewhere. Look into mindfulness and meditation - these practices can be helpful in learning to let go. Realize the truth that everything is constantly changing, life is one giant dynamic flux of constant change.. everything is impermanent, so there is no need to desperately, obsessively cling to things. Just breathe in... and breathe out, letting it all go. It's hard and scary to do at first.. but eventually you'll learn to to trust the fact that life in it's most natural, free state is warm and embracing - not something to fear.

Best Wishes

 

[Breathe]

I understand where you are coming from, DA, as I have OCD, too.
There seems to be a lot of us on here...

 

[LilyPhoenix]

thank you all for replying sorry it took me so long in replying
there is a lot of people with OCD here lol
i love looking at different faiths the more i learn the more i want to be involved in it
there are all different reasons why i fined them so interesting
i would like to try meditation again i found that very helpful i just wish my husband would do it with me but he wouldn't he dont believe in it he said his mind wanders more when he has tried to do it in the past . i love the colorful and beauiful images of the God and Goddesses in Hinduism tails about them as well
Id love to be mindful like those who follow Buddhism but i know i dont have to be Buddhist to become mindful
Am getting therapy soon my psych has to get back to me about that and some of that maybe about mindfulness
i find when am trying to meditate my thoughts go around over and over about things am worried about . i try to focus on a candle ...i cant meditate with out music as well
What is really got me scared at the moment is whats going on with the Ukraine and Russia i keep thinking that its going to end up with a war and people will end up getting hurt because of it
i know there is nothing i can do about it apart from praying
i think i fallow Christianity because my family are Christians and i want peace and not fight with me mum about it
( my mum hates everyone apart from herself and is very small minded )
am going to call myself a seeker for the moment as am wanting to find out more about other faiths
Glad to see am not the only one changing faiths a lot

 

[Breathe]

DA, have you tried writing your beliefs down on paper?

You will soon see which beliefs are constant and/or regular beliefs and you will be able to go from there. Write them down on a weekly basis without looking at the previous ones.

Then share with us, here.

 

[LuisDantas]

Hey, that is an excellent idea.

I think OCD helps in feeling at home on online forums.

 

[crossfire]

DA, have you tried writing your beliefs down on paper?

You will soon see which beliefs are constant and/or regular beliefs and you will be able to go from there. Write them down on a weekly basis without looking at the previous ones.

Then share with us, here.

Yeah, that is a good idea! Isn't OCD where you have an impaired sense of feeling satisfied? Perhaps writing these things down will give you a sense of satisfaction so you will recognize it and be able to cultivate it and apply it when needed to help cut down on the OCD.

 

[Breathe]

Yeah, that is a good idea! Isn't OCD where you have an impaired sense of feeling satisfied? Perhaps writing these things down will give you a sense of satisfaction so you will recognize it and be able to cultivate it and apply it when needed to help cut down on the OCD.

In a nutshell: kinda.
Plus anxiety.
Plus other stuff.

I speak from experience, as I have OCD. Pretty badly, too. I'm a freaking mess, though.

 

[Jainarayan]

I have signs and symptoms of ocpd, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. It's marked by indecisiveness, rigid adherence to rules and regulations, obsessing over details like spending more time organizing my chord/lyrics sheets and binders than actually playing the ******* guitars! among other things. Ironically in my case, I rebel against rules and regulations, though I feel compelled to follow them. This causes an internal tension and stress. I'm currently experiencing a re-invention of my belief system which includes indecisiveness as to whether to keep a shrine, and just how much to keep.

 

[Breathe]

I have signs and symptoms of ocpd, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. It's marked by indecisiveness, rigid adherence to rules and regulations, obsessing over details like spending more time organizing my chord/lyrics sheets and binders than actually playing the ******* guitars! among other things. Ironically in my case, I rebel against rules and regulations, though I feel compelled to follow them. This causes an internal tension and stress. I'm currently experiencing a re-invention of my belief system which includes indecisiveness as to whether to keep a shrine, and just how much to keep.

Hahaha, I'm exactly the same with my OCD, only I don't play the guitar.
I remember when I was in school, I was asked to write a story for school. I wrote a 50 page story, and I had almost the same amount of pages of story development: character personalities and flaws, histories, scenes, scene history, and so on.

... bearing in mind that there were only around six characters and four locations... :biglaugh:

I got the highest grade, though, and within a month every teacher had read it. My ego swelled so much.

 

[Jainarayan]

Most likely having Asperger's doesn't help my case very much.