My spiritual progress in 2 years

[PoetPhilosopher]

Just tracking my spiritual progress.

I wrote this May 14 2019:

I've been thinking more about whether to embrace atheism or Christianity. Not a fan of trying to be agnostic. I think I fit best labelling myself a "progressionist Christian" - something which some strong conservative Christians label a wolf in sheep's clothing.

AT-AT's journal

I wrote this May 7 2020:

This morning I was doing some prayer. The usual stuff, praying to Vishnu and Krishna. I feel close with those two. I never really understood about worshipping a few of them, like Shiva the Destroyer. I asked Vishnu and Krishna whether a Yin & Yang approach to life and my own nature are better, or whether it was better to focus on the light. The answer I got was that rather than pray to or work with dark powers, that you can do better, and that Shiva will answer your calls when needing him for some sort of lower self righteous justice. Then I had a visual image of darkness representing depression and persecution, and it surrounding me, then me, in a third person visual image, praying to Shiva, and that darkness being wiped out.

So there's that. Not sure how accurate any of this is, but it's my experience.

My biggest spiritual experience this year

I wrote this today, July 14 2021:

I've decided to drop the title "New Age Hindu" for myself and decided to be more specific and describe myself as subscribing to the esoteric school of thought of Kashmir Shaivism but with some Left Hand Path ideas / a bit of a Left Hand Path inclination:

Kashmir Shaivism - Wikipedia

None of my beliefs have actually changed. I feel I no longer have to use the term New Age either. Because Kashmir Shaivism covers all my New Age-y beliefs on Consciousness and reality as part of its philosophies. I wasn't expecting it this soon, but I feel I have achieved a level of enlightenment via great meditation and some hard work resulting in the recognition of Shiva's existence in my soul.

My beloved Lord Shiva, I dedicate these songs to you, for opening my eyes to unity from indifference

:

(snip)

Kashmir Shaivism

I'm excited to see where I go next!

Thanks for being a part of this journey!

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Other things I have been up to:
Recovering from health conditions
Posting in the Games forum:

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

So I've said it before and I'll say it again, I subscribe to Left Hand Path these days and I worship Lord Shiva. Some of the philosophies of Left Hand Path are, I feel, good for me, at least at this current time.

However, I did have my concerns that I, despite trying to still be moral, would slip deep into a rabbit-hole that would be too much for me.

Now that I've been on this path a little bit, I can conclude two experiences for me:

1. I seem to be coming out on the other side of exploring this side better understanding some goals and traits that are also valuable to Right Hand Path people. And aren't very dark at all.

2. I think following Shiva, it's difficult to lose yourself. Not impossible, but difficult. I think there's just too much darn good in Shiva to make a person sinister even if following him through the Left Hand Path.

 

[Valjean]

How would one "embrace" atheism? What is there to embrace? Atheisn is.... nothing.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

How would one "embrace" atheism? What is there to embrace? Atheisn is.... nothing.

My answer is that I have a hard enough time understanding myself now - how am I suppose to understand myself from 2019?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

My answer is that I have a hard enough time understanding myself now - how am I suppose to understand myself from 2019?

I'd feel bad if I left this here without further explanation.......

@Valjean I have a medical condition that causes my statements to sometimes not be real tight and precise. It was worse in 2019, because I had worse problems them.