Confucian Mormon Buddhist
Member
I'm making this thread because I can't figure out how to reply to anything else. 
Hello, I'm Confucian Mormon Buddhist. In reality, though, I'm sort of a practicing Deist, or a Far Right Unitarian Universalist. I'm a college student in Appalachia studying Economics and History, and I guess I'll let you know a bit about myself through my religious journey.
I was raised in a backslidden Protestant home. My parents are kind of the cynical type of Christians who do claim belief in God and the Bible but are rather lax about interpretation of it. I wasn't raised going to church, but I did, for a while, "follow" an Old Earth Creationist form of evangelical Protestantism. Without church, though, my understanding of Christianity was horribly warped, and I generally saw God as being a sort of evil figure who'd send you to Hell for the slightest transgression. By halfway through high school (if my memory serves me right), I'd moved on to being an agnostic.
I had a fascination with Mormonism, though, and when I went to college I decided to join the Mormon Church. I didn't really believe in its teachings, but I had the utmost respect for Mormon culture and thought it would be good to help further it. Once I did get involved, I got sucked in rapidly... I was very shy and basically wasn't making any friends on campus, so my social life was based around meeting with the (female) missionaries. I also fell into depression (due to usual freshman anxieties and my obsession with finding love). I don't have any good conversion story; it's just that one night, when I wanted to kill myself, I had a strong feeling of what felt like God looking down on me in sympathy. After that I "converted" in my heart, and I generally felt content, although I wasn't necessarily the best about going to every service and I cherry-picked the rules I wanted to follow.
As you might guess, my faith was paper-thin. A girl at the church broke my heart (took my virginity, then got engaged three weeks later) and I felt rejected by the other college students there, so I left the congregation, thinking I'd either commute to another ward or practice my faith on my own. As it happened, though, I had a Religious Studies course, and it required me to go to another denominations' service. I picked the Pentecostals (due to their flashiness).
I ended up attending a small storefront church which REALLY impressed me. The pastor was a brilliant speaker, and the music was much better. Most of all, I felt like the Holy Spirit was actually there. This led to me slowly abandoning my Mormonism. I felt that if the Holy Spirit was so strong there, they must be okay in spite of their heresy, and between my bitterness towards the Mormons and the general surge of spirituality I was feeling there, I pushed away from Mormonism and towards Christianity.
It wasn't meant to be, though. I did get somewhat involved in the church. I'd go for anywhere from five to nine hours a week... this was a very hard congregation, with two hour sermons and an expectation that you attend everything. I saw my life and mood improving and believed it was God showing favor for my attendance. I came to be bothered by a lot of little things, though, and generally felt like I wasn't part of their community. I found the pastor intimidating to approach and sort of felt like he didn't care about the new members, just his old flock, and while I had one good friend I made in the congregation, I didn't feel that engaged by their college students either (though they were a heck of a lot better than the Mormons). So, my interest slowly died until I left them, not with a broken heart so much as just with a bit of resentment.
I tried to use a fraternity to fill the hole in my heart, but I quickly realized that it was nothing but a glorified drinking club. I did fall in with some Baptists (neighbor invited me), but they didn't leave much of an impression. And then I came to find that I just didn't care about organized religion anymore, but I still felt spiritual. I didn't believe the literal truth or much of the doctrine of Mormonism or Christianity, but I loved church and I still felt compelled to pray.
So, I'm a "practicing deist." I still love Mormon doctrine (although I don't believe it's true), and I have a strong appreciation for (what I understand of) Confucianism and Buddhism. But as far as my true beliefs go, I'm basically a deist who regards God as being sort of woven into the universe, and I think of God as preferring for people to participate in the religion of their culture (that religion is meant to be social, not solitary, in nature). To me, though, that's hard, as the only community for people like that is the Unitarian Universalists, and I don't care for their political agenda.
That's pretty much the sum of it.
Hello, I'm Confucian Mormon Buddhist. In reality, though, I'm sort of a practicing Deist, or a Far Right Unitarian Universalist. I'm a college student in Appalachia studying Economics and History, and I guess I'll let you know a bit about myself through my religious journey.
I was raised in a backslidden Protestant home. My parents are kind of the cynical type of Christians who do claim belief in God and the Bible but are rather lax about interpretation of it. I wasn't raised going to church, but I did, for a while, "follow" an Old Earth Creationist form of evangelical Protestantism. Without church, though, my understanding of Christianity was horribly warped, and I generally saw God as being a sort of evil figure who'd send you to Hell for the slightest transgression. By halfway through high school (if my memory serves me right), I'd moved on to being an agnostic.
I had a fascination with Mormonism, though, and when I went to college I decided to join the Mormon Church. I didn't really believe in its teachings, but I had the utmost respect for Mormon culture and thought it would be good to help further it. Once I did get involved, I got sucked in rapidly... I was very shy and basically wasn't making any friends on campus, so my social life was based around meeting with the (female) missionaries. I also fell into depression (due to usual freshman anxieties and my obsession with finding love). I don't have any good conversion story; it's just that one night, when I wanted to kill myself, I had a strong feeling of what felt like God looking down on me in sympathy. After that I "converted" in my heart, and I generally felt content, although I wasn't necessarily the best about going to every service and I cherry-picked the rules I wanted to follow.
As you might guess, my faith was paper-thin. A girl at the church broke my heart (took my virginity, then got engaged three weeks later) and I felt rejected by the other college students there, so I left the congregation, thinking I'd either commute to another ward or practice my faith on my own. As it happened, though, I had a Religious Studies course, and it required me to go to another denominations' service. I picked the Pentecostals (due to their flashiness).
I ended up attending a small storefront church which REALLY impressed me. The pastor was a brilliant speaker, and the music was much better. Most of all, I felt like the Holy Spirit was actually there. This led to me slowly abandoning my Mormonism. I felt that if the Holy Spirit was so strong there, they must be okay in spite of their heresy, and between my bitterness towards the Mormons and the general surge of spirituality I was feeling there, I pushed away from Mormonism and towards Christianity.
It wasn't meant to be, though. I did get somewhat involved in the church. I'd go for anywhere from five to nine hours a week... this was a very hard congregation, with two hour sermons and an expectation that you attend everything. I saw my life and mood improving and believed it was God showing favor for my attendance. I came to be bothered by a lot of little things, though, and generally felt like I wasn't part of their community. I found the pastor intimidating to approach and sort of felt like he didn't care about the new members, just his old flock, and while I had one good friend I made in the congregation, I didn't feel that engaged by their college students either (though they were a heck of a lot better than the Mormons). So, my interest slowly died until I left them, not with a broken heart so much as just with a bit of resentment.
I tried to use a fraternity to fill the hole in my heart, but I quickly realized that it was nothing but a glorified drinking club. I did fall in with some Baptists (neighbor invited me), but they didn't leave much of an impression. And then I came to find that I just didn't care about organized religion anymore, but I still felt spiritual. I didn't believe the literal truth or much of the doctrine of Mormonism or Christianity, but I loved church and I still felt compelled to pray.
So, I'm a "practicing deist." I still love Mormon doctrine (although I don't believe it's true), and I have a strong appreciation for (what I understand of) Confucianism and Buddhism. But as far as my true beliefs go, I'm basically a deist who regards God as being sort of woven into the universe, and I think of God as preferring for people to participate in the religion of their culture (that religion is meant to be social, not solitary, in nature). To me, though, that's hard, as the only community for people like that is the Unitarian Universalists, and I don't care for their political agenda.
That's pretty much the sum of it.
Oh dear. You need to get back to the BA meetings.....
