My confessional

[Viker]

I am either a former Satanist or maybe just a dormant Satanic machine beast. Pray I don't wake up.

When I first dove into Satanism I was drawn to both the Satanic Bible and Carducci's 'Hymn To Satan' ( parts of which I still plan on having on my tombstone ). My Satanic upbringing was with the LaVeyans, I give them due credit and respect. Early on I had problems with them as I never cared for the distinction between so called "atheist' or 'theist' adjectives conjoined with Satanism. To me, and for me, Satanism is just Satanism. I'm a simple animal, complex semantic bulls*** often irritates me even when I see a need to expound upon things.

Years ago I fell out of the circle, so to speak. Life got to be very gripping and still so sick of the petty and even often deemed necessary squabbles in the LHP. I always viewed Satanism as a pack mentality and not a mass consumerist 'nationalistic' thing. Wolf pack A does not have to be friends with wolf pack D. So it is no big deal really. Even if I choose to no longer associate with Satanists or call my self one, it is no loss to any one.

I have recently felt this tiny tingle to get back. A little beast tugs at me even now. I do not know if I can or will. I am not up on the recent scores, game plays, team names, etc. and really do not care. I still admire Satanism and really all that is the LHP. I do not hate on LaVey, Vera, or Aquino. They have all helped me before. I secretly love them all.

I see my 'spirit animal' as a brown recluse spider, lol sorry for that. I'm going to hang out over in my little corner and see what comes along. I am also sorry if I had posted a couple times here with out letting any one know of my past. This is a DIR and that is a plus. And I may still be a Satanist.

Thanks for letting me vent a little. I may come back to my senses soon.

 

[Songbird]

Hi, Viker. Not my DIR, but I want to say your story is interesting, and I'd like to hear more if you care to share.

 

[Viker]

Hi, Viker. Not my DIR, but I want to say your story is interesting, and I'd like to hear more if you care to share.

I will share more. I am getting more and more interested in sharing this past life with others. It could be my re-awakening.

 

[jasonwill2]

I kinda understand where you are coming from with the labels, I mash a crap-ton of different kinds of Satanism and somehow make it all consistent.

I could call myself:

a pantheistic Satanist

a polytheistic Satanist

a LaVeyan Satanist

And it is all still internally consistent. I think the core ideas of Satanism is the same, we only differ in details. I do not know much about Aquino, but Vera and LaVey are my two largest influences, right behind myself as the largest influence.

Though the labels can often help differentiate on those little metaphysical details that everyone wants to know. For example sometimes people ask me "what kind of values do Satanists have", and I can't really answer them other than give some vague answers without feeling "now wait, I am not considering all those other Satanists in this description".

But as for the "spirit of Satan", so to speak, that is our common ground, and I totally get what you are saying with the animalism inherent in Satanism; it's what got me to admit that I myself am a Satanist.

Ave, Viker, may you find your own path to whatever calls to you.

 

[Adramelek]

Dear Viker,

Everything you said in your original post may very well prove that your are still a Satanist/LHPather at heart - which is a good thing. No reason to be ashamed of it. A good many of us have gone through great trials and tribulations in life and have come full circle only to find that we are or are still Satanic deep within our selves.

For ever in the Dark Fire.
/Adramelek\

 

[1137]

Adramelek is correct. Many time I have found myself questioning the LHP and even trying to leave it behind for several difference reason is. The thing that I realized was that I didn't need to turn away, I simply needed to go deeper. If the LHP is your calling then you will never be able to deny it no matter how hard you try, and eventually I realized I did not want to turn away anyways.

 

[Orias]

Ave Viker!

I think I know what you are saying, I don't like to associate myself with such things or ways of thoughts with other people either, but in my own time I am most definitly a being of darkness.

And for the semantics part right on dude, blast those damned cherry pickers.

Stick around and reveal your thoughts, this DIR is pretty well knit together