Suffering usually relates to wanting things to be different than they are.
This is very true, but what's the solution?
Some philosophies say this means we simply need to stop 'wanting' at all; if we do not want anything, we can never be disappointed. And yet this is a paradox, because in order to stop 'wanting' we must want not to want. The fact is, you can't get rid of desire - it's not possible, based on the way that our minds operate.
Another possible solution is to stop desiring that things be different than they are by instead desiring what actually is. And yet this is just as impossible to do - at least long-term. Eventually, we're all going to encounter circumstances which are simply terrible; we will be in deep pain, intense sorrow, we will encounter such awful suffering in this life at various times. To actively desire these things simply because they are happening is just not possible for us. How can we desire the indescribable horror of finding out that a loved one has died suddenly, or that we've been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and have a week to live?
So, where does that leave us? If we cannot stop desiring, and we cannot make ourselves desire things that cause horrible pain and suffering, then what do we do? It seems to me that the only other option is to desire to
accept what is, no matter what is.
But in difficult times, in times of suffering and pain, why would any sane person want to just accept it? Isn't the rational option to resist such situations as much as possible and do whatever we can to end the suffering? But if we do that, then we're back to where we started - wanting things to be different than they are.
And yet in order for us to desire to accept our circumstances come what may, we cannot believe that our circumstances are meaningless or random; if everything bad that happens to us is entirely arbitrary, we have no reason to want to accept it, and every reason to fight against it - which again leaves us back at square one.
In order for this solution to be possible, we must necessarily believe that our circumstances have an inherent purpose, that they're happening to us for a reason. And if this is true for us, it must be true for everyone, which means everything that happens in all of our lives is happening for a purpose - that absolutely everything that happens is
objectively meaningful.
But what must we believe about our existence to believe that it is objectively meaningful? What does it take for a world to exist that is
inherently meaningful? How could we explain the existence of such a world?
Many of us here have found some pretty good answers to that question; others may have found answers that they thought were good but later found out didn't work in practise; still others have given up on this is entirely and have resigned themselves to an arbitrary existence where nothing means anything and all suffering is ultimately in vain because
everything is ultimately in vain. And what does that do to us but cause even more suffering? It's a gradual yet vicious cycle, that leads only to depression, despair, and nihilism. I hope and pray that all of those people will eventually make their way out of the dark pit that they've dug themselves into.
And I hope that what I've said here is helpful to some.
In order to endure the suffering of this life, we must desire to accept it - even if we can't
actually accept it in the moment. And what does it mean to desire to accept suffering? What must we believe about life in order to do so? That our suffering is meaningful. That somehow it's leading to something good, some higher purpose that we often cannot possibly see from our extremely limited perspective. So we must trust that it's real; we must believe that existence has a purpose, that the pain we endure is meaningful; we must have faith that there's much more going on here than meets the eye, and that whatever it is, is very, very good.