Men - Would you take your wife's last name instead?

[Jaymes]

Sure. I don't particularly see a reason not to. Odds are whoever I marry and I will just settle on whichever sounds the coolest. Or a hyphenated name.

 

[Jaymes]

Let's just abandon all traditions and burn all religious books and string up every white hetero male on the planet and worship the woman and make her all powerful.

Is there any traditions not coming under attack?

I feel like a dinosaur breathing his last breath. Lord take me now! I don't want to live among the unbelievers any longer. The world has gone to hell in a hand basket.

Quibbling over a last name and disrespecting tradition is insulting to the traditional family. What is wrong with traditions?

Is making up bogeymen at every corner a hobby of yours or something? Who on earth is suggesting this? :sarcastic

 

[Booko]

Over the years this has caused problems in many families
It is often settled by turning it into a double barrelled name.

Unfortunately, most times the man doesn't change his name and the woman just adds his. And there can still be problems even if he just hyphenates like she does.

I like the old Spanish system where the children use both their parents family names and when married use their fathers and their husbands , it makes cousin relationships much clearer.
A wife uses her name first then her husbands
A daughter uses her fathers first then her mothers.
when she marries she drops the mothers name and adds her husbands.

Our kids have 2 last names, for just this reason. While no one in our extended family has Spanish roots, we were well acquainted with the custom and thought it made a lot of sense.

 

[Booko]

Does anyone here come from a family that their father and mother are still married and have only been married once?

My mother was married twice because my father died when she was only 45, and she remarried.

One of my bros-in-law is divorced. No one else in our extremely large extended families is divorced.

My one brother-in-law might not have gotten divorced had he bothered to ask for anyone's frank opinion about getting married to the woman in the first place. That was an ill-considered elopment if ever I saw one. :cover:

My husband and I have been married 21 years now.

And all this despite the fact that I didn't change my name when we married.

I have no problem with traditions and don't care to toss them overboard without some serious consideration. But neither do I think there's much reason to hold on to traditions that have outlived their usefulness.

Surnames are a big deal in a culture that deals in tribal association and lineage. That's not the culture I live in.

Personally, I think the Icelanders have the right idea.

 

[Bishka]

Does anyone here come from a family that their father and mother are still married and have only been married once?

Raises hand!

My parents have only been married to each other and have been married for over twenty years. The sames as my husbands parents and his mother's parents (his maternal grandparents). My maternal grandparents were the same way.

 

[Bishka]

There's a certain pride in having a family name. It doesn't just belong to me, but to all of my ancestors all the way back to when the name was invented,

That's another reason for me. My husband's ancestry is important to me as well as him and as I have been joined with him; it is mine and my future children's ancestry.

 

[Mister Emu]

It would depend on the name... I wouldn't change my name to smith or anything like that, but something really interesting I would think about it...

 

[Booko]

That's another reason for me. My husband's ancestry is important to me as well as him and as I have been joined with him; it is mine and my future children's ancestry.

One of the things about my last name -- my dad was the last in the family to carry the name, except for my brother, and frankly, we never expected him to have kids.

As it turns out, he has 2 kids about the age of mine. But according to my expectations at the time, dad's name would've died out with him.

My mom's family name is well-preserved, since she had 3 brothers and some of them had sons.

Incidentally, both my husband and I answer to either last name. People know us as "Mrs." or "Mr." whatever depending on which of us they met first.

I figure since we did something less than common in our culture, it pays not to get snippy if someone assumes we did the usual. It's more important to put people at ease.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

I certainly would, but that would give me the same name as her brother, and I don't think she'd like that association!

 

[Nanda]

I certainly would, but that would give me the same name as her brother, and I don't think she'd like that association!

Feh! My sister-in-law and I have the same name. On her wedding day, I had matching T-shirts made.

 

[Gentoo]

I certainly would, but that would give me the same name as her brother, and I don't think she'd like that association!

Not in the Slightest!!! :cover:

 

[Ðanisty]

My husband's family name dies in this generation. He's the only male grandchild and we aren't having children. I say if they're so desperate to keep the name going, one of his sisters should not change her name when she marries. One thing's for sure, we ain't havin' any kids. :no:

 

[Nanda]

That's another reason for me. My husband's ancestry is important to me as well as him and as I have been joined with him; it is mine and my future children's ancestry.

What about your ancestry?

 

[Nanda]

I actually took my wife's last name and was chastized by all the males in my family. I hear it every time I go to family events. It's an ultimate blasphemy in latino families. Passing on your last name is a big deal.

That's really something... Good for you.

 

[Papersock]

Does anyone here come from a family that their father and mother are still married and have only been married once?

Yup. I do. My parents have been married for at least 30 years.

As for the question in the OP, no, I probably would not have my name changed, unless there was a really good reason to. I would not expect her to change her name either. I'm kind of used to my name and I sure she would be used to hers.
But I have no plans of ever getting married or having kids, so it doesn't really matter to me.

 

[Bishka]

What about your ancestry?

I honor my own ancestry (our children are getting family names), and I have two brothers and several males cousins. I'm okay with that.

 

[Ðanisty]

I would have a hard time imagining any LDS not honoring their ancestry regardless of what they do with their names. They've only got like the best genealogy records around.

 

[Bishka]

I would have a hard time imagining any LDS not honoring their ancestry regardless of what they do with their names. They've only got like the best genealogy records around.

Perhaps we do. I have always felt a deep connection my ancestors and their heritage. In the whole, family is a very important part of my life and who I am. Although my children will carry their father's surname for the most part of their life, they will carry the blood, memories, and names of their ancestors. My first daughter is going to be named after her maternal grandmother's great-great grandmother -- Emma Jane; and my first son will be named after his paternal grandfather's great-grandfather and great-great grandfather.

 

[Nanda]

I'm okay with that.

Well, that's all that matters, really.

 

[jonny]

So, now I pose the question to the men of RF: Would you change your last name to your wife's if she asked you to? And if not, what are your reasons? Would you expect her to change her last name to yours? Why, or why not?

No.
Tradition & I don't want to.
Yes.
Tradition.