Nanda
Polyanna
While I'm not against tradition as a general rule, that just doesn't seem a good enough reason to me. :no:
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Men - Would you take your wife's last name instead?
- Thread starter Nanda
- Start date
While I'm not against tradition as a general rule, that just doesn't seem a good enough reason to me. :no:
fullyveiled muslimah
Evil incarnate!
How can one really be the benefactor of a name? Anyway religiously in Islam it is not mandatory nor tradition that women take the names of their husbands. She may keep her own name if she wishes or change it if she wishes. The children take the fathers name to determine and keep alive lineage. Like if I had a son his name would be _____ ibn Shaheed (my hubby's name is shaheed). I would be Umm ______ and my husband would be Abu _____. If I got married to another man my son from my first marriage would carry on his father's name/family lineage, not my new husbands. I would keep my own name as it is not necessary to change it. Applying a name implies a type of ownership .....sometimes...... not all the time. So a man's wife is not his property in Islam. His children are of his loins though, and his wife is not (ughh). If the kids carry my name, and these are his only children and something happens to him his family name is lost. My family name is never lost because I didn't change it in the first place, and also there is nothing stopping me from inserting my name into the names of my children. So like I could name my girl maybe Ruqayyah bint Davis Shaheed. See? No problem. All the names can be given.
Nanda
Polyanna
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber
I doubt I would have a problem with it, mainly because I don't like being associated with my dad's family that much. It would probably benefits to not be associated by name with a family of jail birds.
CaptainXeroid
Following Christ
Tradition, and the symbolism in Genesis 2:21-24.:162:
Respecting tradition that my wife takes my last name doesn't make me a 'benefactor'. Rather it creates a responsibility for me to lead my family by example.
The Seeker
Once upon a time....
You benefit by having your last name carried on through your children, whereas your wife doesn't have that option.
Does anyone here come from a family that their father and mother are still married and have only been married once?
Nanda
Polyanna
Why yes, Rick. My mother and father have been happily married for over thirty years.
Wandered Off
Sporadic Driveby Member
Yes. Mine expect to celebrate their 50th anniversary this year.
CaptainXeroid
Following Christ
I think you are mistakenly looking at it as a 'zero sum game', with a 'winner' and a 'loser', and overlooking the responsibilty that is created. Even when children carry their father's surname, the mother can have a great deal of influence over the first and middle name. Her role should not be overlooked.
/me raises his hand. My parents married in 1965, moved into their first home in 1967, I was born in 1969, and my parents still live in the same home. How's that for 'Leave it to Beaver' in real life.Reverand Rick said:
Congrats!
The Seeker
Once upon a time....
Not me. My father died when I was 2 months old. My step-father passed away last year.
The Seeker
Once upon a time....
A surname doesn't create any responsibility IMO. For me the responsibility is created when the child is born. To be honest, the more the think about it the less I care about whether or not my wife or children would take my last name.
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber
My parents were both on thier second marriage when they got together, my mom's first ending when her husband was killed, and my dad's ending in divorce. My parents divorced years ago, and as of last summer have been living with each other again.
Ãanisty
Well-Known Member
This seems a bit melodramatic. If last names are no big deal, why does it upset you what people want to do with them?
Both of my parents were previously married way before I was in the picture, but they've been together for over thirty years now. I've never even seen them have an argument.
Mathematician
Reason, and reason again
When I marry, I'll request -- no, demand, that my wife adopt the name "My-yahoo-tube-googling-deviant-fox."
Kungfuzed
Student Nurse
There's a certain pride in having a family name. It doesn't just belong to me, but to all of my ancestors all the way back to when the name was invented, probably. A name says alot about a person. It carries a reputation. If we start flipping a coin each time someone is married to decide who gets to keep their name then where would we be? You end up with children who grow up with hyphenated names who marry other people with hyphenated names and end up with quad-hyphenated children who dont know who they're related to beyond their parents. What a geneological nightmare.
I would not take my wife's name. Her maiden name is extremely common and mine is rarely heard of. She also has lots of brothers to carry on that name. I am also the last male on my father's side of the family, so it's up to me to carry on the family name.
I would not take my wife's name. Her maiden name is extremely common and mine is rarely heard of. She also has lots of brothers to carry on that name. I am also the last male on my father's side of the family, so it's up to me to carry on the family name.