Masturbation

[Skwim]

Here's an excerpt from a Mormon article:

Steps In Overcoming Masturbation
​

"A Guide to Self-Control

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

2. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

3. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

4. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

5. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

6. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

7. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethren. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.

8. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, but keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever -- not in conversation with others, not in your prayers. keep it out of your mind!
​

The attitude of a person toward his problem has an effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.

We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress. It is not physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of the procreative power given to man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person from God and defeats the gospel plan.

This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect and feel guilty and depressed, which can in the extreme lead to further sinning. As a person feels spiritually unclean, he loses his interest in prayer, his testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become burdensome, offering no joy and limited success."

source and more
​

 

[Noaidi]

Thanks for that, Skwim. Depressing attitude some denominations have towards masturbation.

Can anyone within such denominations explain whether masturbation is accepted within marriage as part of sex, or is it just a no-no, full stop?

 

[mhiggs]

wow, that's intense

 

[jmvizanko]

Why do some people think it is wrong?

 

[Skwim]

"The Roman Catholic Position:

Offenses against chastity: 2352. By _masturbation_ is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magesterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful, have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action." "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability. (1992 Catechism).
​

Then there's this, from a protestant (the author of the source site).

"Any misuse of sex cuts us off from our true selves and from each other. Young people underestimate the power of the demonic forces they allow into their lives when they give in to impurity. Take masturbation, for example. As children grow into young men and women, their sexual desire increases, and often their most immediate urge is to seek sexual gratification through masturbation. Increasingly, parents, educators, and ministers of our day claim that masturbation is healthy and natural; many see it as just another form of stress release. And the sexual activity it often leads to, even among children who have barely reached puberty, is considered by some to be normal.

Why are we parents and educators so afraid to speak the truth - to warn our children not only of the dangers of promiscuity but also of masturbation? (Proverbs 5:1ff) Aren't both illnesses of the soul? Don't both desecrate and betray the image of God, and undermine the marriage bond? Masturbation can never bring true satisfaction. It is a solitary act. It is self-stimulation, self-gratification, self-abuse - it closes us within a dream world and separates us from genuine relationships. When it becomes habitual (which it often does), it aggravates isolation and loneliness, and it intensifies feelings of futility and frustration. At its worst, as a breach in the bond of unity and love for which sex is created, it is comparable to adultery. I have counseled many young people who are enslaved by masturbation: they earnestly desire to be freed from their habit, but they fall into it again and again.

A person who struggles with masturbation is often too ashamed to talk about it with anyone. Yet it is important to realize that because shameful acts work in secrecy, their power can only be broken when they are brought to light. Certainly sharing one's burdens and inner feelings with a mentor or pastor can be painful, but this is the only recourse for anyone who wants to become truly free."

source for both of the above
​

 

[Twilight Hue]

I ran across similar such guidelines when I was a Christian and have a hard time understanding why some people are so set on vilifying something that actually occurs naturally and on its own in human beings, and to subsequently suppress it artificially and expecting a kind of fabricated ideal of redemption and freedom from it all.
It never works that way, nor is it supposed to.
-NM-

 

[Danmac]

Why do some people think it is wrong?

In my opinion children should be taught to pleasure themselves rather than have sex with others before they are emotionally ready for it.

Would that be considered target practice?

 

[Rakhel]

I am not sure why people think that it is a sin. They have a story in the OT (can't remember where) about some man who was supposed to have a baby for his brother through his brother's wife (now his wife) but he spilled the semen instead. I don't think that story prohibits, masturbation, however. But some people take it as such. That is all I can think of.

It was Judah's son. As for masturbation and this story, it's complicated as to how it prohibits the act.
In ancient Hebrew tradition, when a married man dies, his brother inherits the dead man's wife. In doing so, any children he has with her are not his, but his dead brother's. In this story, rather than allowing his brother's line to continue, he spilled his seed.

Now, it is also in Hebrew tradition that within that seed, is life or a soul or whatever you want to call it. So by Judas' son spilling his seed, he denied this life or soul the privilege of living.

So here is where the idea that masturbation comes to be a sin. By masturbating, you are now spilling your seed, denying a soul from living.

At least, that is my take on the matter.

 

[Alceste]

Sexual repression pays major dividends in the form of loyalty and obedience to the leader of a church or cult, many of whom love nothing more than to dictate to the flock the exact terms upon which sexual release can be attained - often while scooping up scores of pretty young virgins all for themselves, as in the FLDS. It's a classic sub-dom sexual relationship between congregation and clergy, except it has no safe words, never ends, and - rather than leather and PVC - is adorned with the word "purity", which is the king of all turn-ons for a religious extremist, second only to "filth".

 

[yourhopeboundheart]

sexual repression is an excellent and malicious tool for control. although it's often derailed and becomes sexual obsession, only in unhealthy ways. and mostly by the ones who are preaching the repression itself.

the role of oxytocin is an important opponent to the virtue of masturbation, but this is only really the case when excess is involved. also, what would be important to teach future generations (since i'm sure they have all the resources they need to teach themselves about the actual mechanics) is the separation between self gratification and sexual intimacy. and how to manage the two in responsible and separate ways. there's no doubt that repressing an individual's (particularly an individual in the whirlwind of puberty) desire for self gratification can lead to more problems than it will ever begin to solve - while honest communication with a trustworthy adult, without condemnation, can lead to a healthy balance of sexual understanding. and fear of eternal punishment, or even disappointment from a parent, is no way to have a healthy sex life, at any age.

 

[Misty]

They would take it to the schools if they could.

In the UK masturbation will be discuss as part of the sex education curriculum in our schools.

I suspect many of the people who are against sex for pleasure have hang ups about it caused by oppressive religion.

 

[Smoke]

Steps In Overcoming Masturbation

Well, if you aren't neurotic before you take that advice, it will certainly help you to become neurotic as quickly and efficiently as possible.

 

[Kathryn]

Everything in moderation, people.

That's all I have to say about it.

[youtube]SUqyMQVJALw[/youtube]
YouTube - Hand on The Devil! The Dangers of Teenage Self-Pleasure...

 

[sandy whitelinger]

religious debates? ah, what is religion for? just to make up rules in regards to what...life perhaps...masturbation is a part of life...like it or not...

Well, my thought was it's posted in a religious debate section, but that's just me.

 

[sandy whitelinger]

I am not sure why people think that it is a sin. They have a story in the OT (can't remember where) about some man who was supposed to have a baby for his brother through his brother's wife (now his wife) but he spilled the semen instead. I don't think that story prohibits, masturbation, however. But some people take it as such. That is all I can think of.

You are probably thinking of the story of Onan. I think you are also correct in believing that this story is broadly misinterpreted. I've post what I think is a better view of it here: Onan the Barbarian.

 

[waitasec]

Well, my thought was it's posted in a religious debate section, but that's just me.

yeah, so?

 

[I Keep Unicorns]

Christians think it's wrong because it includes lust, which God hates / punishes for.

If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, whom you have not married, and you even do so much as even just THINK about sex with him / her while masturbating, this is adultery, a punishable sin. Very silly indeed.

 

[Misty]

Christians think it's wrong because it includes lust, which God hates / punishes for.

If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, whom you have not married, and you even do so much as even just THINK about sex with him / her while masturbating, this is adultery, a punishable sin. Very silly indeed.

I think it is very silly not to have sex with your partner before you are married! Sex is a very big part of married life, especially in the early years, so you need to find out if you are sexually compatible before you wed!

 

[I Keep Unicorns]

I think it is very silly not to have sex with your partner before you are married! Sex is a very big part of married life, especially in the early years, so you need to find out if you are sexually compatible before your wed!

Absolutely. :clap

 

[Misty]

I don't know why some Christians make such a big deal about sex performed by consenting adults, gay or straight! Mary was pregnant before she married Joseph, and I don't for one second believe it was god 'wot dun it'!