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Male spiders ejaculate before they touch their wife

Discussion in 'The Animal World' started by PopeADope, Mar 7, 2019.

  1. PopeADope

    PopeADope Habemus papam

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    When a male tarantula reaches adulthood, he spins a small patch of silk. He deposits sperm on the silk, and then sucks up the fluid into the tips of his pedipalps. He's now ready to breed.


    He deposits sperm on the silk (without the help of a horny female). In other words, he masturbates. Not to mention he has eight hands to touch himself. :D

    Usually, when a male approaches a female to mate, she rears up and opens her fangs as if threatened. He reaches up and secures her fangs with the hooks on his front legs, then inserts his sperm-loaded pedipalps into her genital openings on the underside of her abdomen.

    I caught my salmon pink bird eater masturbating in his rotten log. He actually spun webs on both entrances to have some privacy. He was so pissed at me for ruining his act of self-soothing. that he ran out of the log with arms in the air and showing off his fangs. Experts claim that species has fangs that are as large as cheetahs claws . I vouch for that, and it draws blood.

    You should have seen how fast he came shooting out of his dark bungalow. But he didn't get me this time.

    My salmon pink spider is growing so fast. He's molting and changing colors. He did not have a single pink hair when I bought him. Now he has many , and such transfornation took place in less than a day.

    His abdomen now qualifies as obese for a male of this species. I kid you not, I rudely invited myself into his house of silk, wood, and Spidey soil , and whatever.

    I saw severed cockroach heads, dismembered limbs, pieces of shell that were once part of a dismembered torso, and liquified organs (spider venom liquefies its preys insides, organs, and tissue , sucking it out and leaving an empty shell).

    (This spider is named Jeffrey Dahmer now) He insists on making balls of soil covered in web and full of decapitated heads, limbs and chunks of torso. It gives him some sort of reward.

    I saw his fat *** finish a meal that was roughly one third his body weight. Then a giant hissing cockroach stumbled in to his wooden house today. He wasn't even hungry. So what does he do?

    He puts the roach on it's back. covers the roach in silk, soil, and the remains of his past victims, all drenched in what appears to be spider semen.

    But does he quickly off his victims?. No! He doesn't bite them when not hungry. He rather covers them in a Cocoon of silk, soil , and sperm (okay, maybe it isnt sperm, but after handling one of those silk and soil tombs, I noticed it was drenched in a fluid resembling semen ).

    They shall be in discomfort , frustration, and agony day and night

    After a big meal like that, the spider could go like six weeks without wanting to eat anything. So, cockroaches are very Hardy tough cookies, so it could be weeks of struggling In vain against a Cocoon of web, soil, and body parts.

    Back to his sexuality. Despite his pink hairs, I'm convinced that he's not gay. However, he has never had a girlfriend. The only adult spider woman he met was his mother (most likely.)

    He doesn't know the first thing about talking to girls. His father was never there for him because his mother ate him. (Female spiders often eat the male after they knock her up.). Her partners either give her great sex or they become a great meal to compensate.

    That's all folks. Just pray that Jeff will receive the grace of empathy as well as a girlfriend.

    If you have a female pink salmon, I'll buy ger for 150 dollars.
     
    #1 PopeADope, Mar 7, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
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  2. PopeADope

    PopeADope Habemus papam

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    Maybe this should be moved to the sexuality section. I'd rather it remain in the animal world, but it isn't exactly PG 13 content. But it's not any worse than what they show on the Discovery Channel!

    Whatevs...
     
  3. PopeADope

    PopeADope Habemus papam

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    I saw his eight eyes glaring at me, totally a thirst for blood.
     
    #3 PopeADope, Mar 7, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
  4. PruePhillip

    PruePhillip Well-Known Member

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    Uh... do spiders GET MARRIED?
     
  5. blü 2

    blü 2 Well-Known Member
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    Far be it from me to say you enjoyed that too much.
     
  6. PruePhillip

    PruePhillip Well-Known Member

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    Hey! Wots the flag?
    :)
     
  7. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    Well. I'm enjoying this thread. Learning should be fun.
     
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  8. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren There is beauty in the silence.

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    Interesting.
     
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  9. PopeADope

    PopeADope Habemus papam

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    Trust me, when I get Jeffy a girlfriend, we will shortly after have a fat wedding or possibly a funeral if she eats him.
     
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  10. PopeADope

    PopeADope Habemus papam

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    Mine do! :)
     
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  11. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren There is beauty in the silence.

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    it's usually this isn't it?
     
  12. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity Focused Laser
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  13. PopeADope

    PopeADope Habemus papam

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    Actually, I'm very impressed with how God, the universe, evolution, natural selection, or the great Kami (spirit) brought into existence male salmon pink birdeaters.

    I have handled in the wild or in captivity (combined), hundreds of different species of arachnids and studied or asked professionals of the hobby questions about different species.

    The Salmon pink is the only species I have owned or heard about where the male gets bigger than the female. There are three reasons why this makes them my favorite.

    The first reason is because the male is cheaper. I got the male pink salmon for 50 bucks. I've seen the females sold at the same store for two hundred bucks.

    See, I want the biggest damn spider in the world! The fully mature male leg span on this creature can be roughly the size of a dinner plate. To get any other spider that size, it has to be female, and it can cost 200 dollars. Ive seen birdeaters on sale for 300.

    Pink Salmon's don't need as much humidity as other birdeaters and are not as fragile. Humidity is not my cup of tea. My prized possession was a female Goliath bird eater. She lived for a few months, then she started to walk funny. Eventually she started to curl her legs beneath her abdomen, known to spider hobbyists as "the death curl".

    The death curl is when the spider's legs curl underneath it's body and it stops moving, even when you touch it.

    A person new to the hobby will assume it is dead and start poking it or holding it , or even toss it in the trash. NEVER!! NEVER!! NEVER **** with a spider that does the death curl and ceases moving . A seasoned hobbyist knows they do this when they molt.

    If you see a spider laying on his back and not moving , don't even think about turning him over. This can easily cause it to die or turn out disfigured or deformed.

    Anyway, my female Goliath did the death curl and I just knew she wasn't molting. I was hysterical and sad. I called the professionals, and they told me that species of spider is very difficult to care for because they need it extremely humid and warm.

    The expert there said you have to keep the cage like it is a swamp and spray it down often with a spray bottle till the walls are wet and all soil is soaked. I wasn't doing that.

    I don't like that idea at all because it is time consuming keeping everything that moist all the time. It also causes many odors, mold, and possibly fungus to grow which is not good for you or the spider.

    So, you have to clean the cage far more often than you do if you have a desert spider that likes it dry.

    The salmon pink isn't so needy, delicate, and fragile. They are also cheaper, more pretty, and don't flick as many poison hairs.

    Every time I held the burgundy Goliath bird eater, I wound up itchy all the time from the venomous hairs it was flicking on me.

    If those hairs get in your eyes, it has the potential of causing blindness. Although the pink salmon also flicks hairs, they have so little venom potency, that I have yet to feel anything from it.

    But yes, a female salmon pink still sometimes kills the male, but it is highly unlikely that a spider attacks an animal bigger than itself unless they are starving. She realizes that guy probably has bigger fangs than she does.

    So, mating is safer for this species than others, and cannabilism not likely (unless hungry. )
     
    #13 PopeADope, Mar 7, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
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  14. Ray Warren

    Ray Warren There is beauty in the silence.

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    Very informative thank you
     
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  15. David1967

    David1967 Well-Known Member
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    Sure, but it often only lasts a few seconds after the wedding since the bride promptly eats the groom. I used to raise tarantulas and when I would put the male and female together I had to be ready with a piece of cardboard to place between them immediately after the male did his thing lest he become a snack.
     
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