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Love your enemies

Woberts

The Perfumed Seneschal
It depends. I have a tiered system of sorts, with the ones at the top deserving death. Probably won't be able to love them. Some of the lower tiers, maybe.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
Do you believe you can love your enemies?

If so, would it make sense to call the person you love an enemy?

Love your enemies means for example loving (and forgiving) Hitler.

Do you love your enemies?

No but I wish I did. The best I can do now is to try to understand their motivation and sometimes a tiny bit try to feel compassion for them.

It has been said that hate is not the opposite of love.

They aren't wrong.

To me indifference is the opposite of love and hate. Love and hate are strong like two poles of a magnet. Indifference, not caring means the opposite like no magnetism at all.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
Well, this guy is a total sponge...

He abused the friendship he had with me for financial gain and did the same to at least one other person too

It is a catalogue of financial abuse and sponging

He basically uses his charm to befriend people and then sponges - classic sociopathic behaviour

He calls you "friend" and "brother" but all he does is take, take, take, whilst promising to pay back (which never happens)

Letting him back into my life would be allowing him to sink his vampire teeth into my neck again, and he would do it again, he will never change because he is weak and has the maturity of a child - he is a man-child, but that's no excuse!
Well, this guy is a total sponge...

He abused the friendship he had with me for financial gain and did the same to at least one other person too

It is a catalogue of financial abuse and sponging

He basically uses his charm to befriend people and then sponges - classic sociopathic behaviour

He calls you "friend" and "brother" but all he does is take, take, take, whilst promising to pay back (which never happens)

Letting him back into my life would be allowing him to sink his vampire teeth into my neck again, and he would do it again, he will never change because he is weak and has the maturity of a child - he is a man-child, but that's no excuse!

I can't remember what Dharma talk I got this friend, but one of the nuns (and The Buddha) mentioned to do things for the sake of oneself not for the sake of others. So, when you offer kindness it is for your own wellbeing and when you withhold it is your own consequence. When we base our compassion and the like on other people's actions, it tends to influence our actions. While talking to him and everything, of course you can set up barriers and don't associate.

The idea is to still hold compassion for him without feeling you have to compromise your feelings by accepting his behavior at the same time. I don't know if many people know the difference. At least from what I see on RF.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
Been there too, believe me, you would never consider the culprit(s) anything but an enemy.

That word isn't even in my vocabulary. When I hear it it sounds more christian like or demons or something. One lady at my church called child molester monsters. While I have distaste for a child molester's actions, I'm not sure that word would be one that pops in my head.
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
Do you believe you can love your enemies?

If so, would it make sense to call the person you love an enemy?

Love your enemies means for example loving (and forgiving) Hitler.

Do you love your enemies?

Don't really love my enemies, don't really hate them either. Just want to out smart them. If I can't outsmart them, that's not really their fault, it's mine.

So don't love your enemies, don't hate them either. Just neutralize them. :D
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
loving and forgiving isn't a license to allow someone to continue doing wrong to others.


unconditional love requires everyone to be treated equally within the Law of Reciprocity, or the Golden Rule.

Loving your enemies doesn't mean giving a license to allow people to do wrong things. It doesn't mean compromise one's values and accept others bad actions. I'm not sure how the two relates but it's common.

Can you have unconditional love for you enemies?
 

Audie

Veteran Member
Loving your enemies doesn't mean giving a license to allow people to do wrong things. It doesn't mean compromise one's values and accept others bad actions. I'm not sure how the two relates but it's common.

Can you have unconditional love for you enemies
?

it can be done if it is just framed in legalistic terms, like
trial by jury v slow boil in oil
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
The Dharmic religions tend to let karma do the dirty work. I think if you love your enemies, by default you've forgiven them. It's up to them to reciprocate or not. There's a story of the Buddha and a man who was being highly disrespectful. The Buddha was teaching when a man came up to him and began berating him. The disciples were horrified and were about to chastise the man when the Buddha intervened and stopped them. The man stormed off. The next day he once again came to the Buddha but this time he threw himself down at the Buddha’s feet begging for forgiveness. The Buddha said “No, I cannot forgive you". Now the man was sad. The Buddha said "You didn’t do anything to forgive you for”. The man said “But I was disrespectful to you”. The Buddha said that man was not there. The man in front of him did nothing wrong.



I don't think it's within our abilities or authority to "forgive" such a person for their actions.

I've always loved The Buddha's point of view on things. There's another that The Buddha mentions it is not the other person's actions that proves our compassion but our actions toward others that does. So, if we cannot forgive and treat others of compassion "for our" sake, what is that saying about us apart from the people with whom we disrespect?

I know in the christian religion, having forgiveness to the point of death is ideal. While I'm not sure most people would die for others, the concept of it would make sense, right?
 

Fool

ALL in all
Premium Member
Loving your enemies doesn't mean giving a license to allow people to do wrong things. It doesn't mean compromise one's values and accept others bad actions. I'm not sure how the two relates but it's common.

Can you have unconditional love for you enemies?
yep, but that again doesn't advocate, nor allow, anti-social behavior. a parent sees two children fighting and loves both, you suppose they allow the two to duel it out to the death; simply because one is stronger than another?
 

Audie

Veteran Member
No but I wish I did. The best I can do now is to try to understand their motivation and sometimes a tiny bit try to feel compassion for them.



To me indifference is the opposite of love and hate. Love and hate are strong like two poles of a magnet. Indifference, not caring means the opposite like no magnetism at all.


Hypothetical, if a sadist got hold of you and spent
considerable time taking obvious delight in torturing
you, do you think you could want to achieve unconditional love,
or would actually care about understanding their motivation?

Those who have not experienced such a thing are of course
not fully able to say, but still, what do you think?

I know the bible says something about it, but then, I dont
take a whole lot of my philo from the bible, and I dont
much think its advice is always necessarily sound.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
That word isn't even in my vocabulary. When I hear it it sounds more christian like or demons or something. One lady at my church called child molester monsters. While I have distaste for a child molester's actions, I'm not sure that word would be one that pops in my head.

I think it would if it were one of your own children.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
No but I wish I did. The best I can do now is to try to understand their motivation and sometimes a tiny bit try to feel compassion for them.



To me indifference is the opposite of love and hate. Love and hate are strong like two poles of a magnet. Indifference, not caring means the opposite like no magnetism at all.

Yeah. I don't know what the world would be like if we forgave people who wronged us without feeling we are compromising our morals to accept their actions.
 

Spirit of Light

Be who ever you want
I assume this should be for all people. I have no enemies either. It would be hard to forgive but not for their sake but for my own.
When it comes to people harming me or doing me wrong, i see it more as a karmic repayment for something i may have done in the past, so when i "suffer" from what others do to toward me, it is more as paying my karmic debt. So actually those who try to harm me, is helping me to learn not to do harm toward them
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
yep, but that again doesn't advocate, nor allow, anti-social behavior. a parent sees two children fighting and loves both, you suppose they allow the two to duel it out to the death; simply because one is stronger than another?

Love (or unconditional love) for your enemies does not mean accept their behavior, though.
 

Unveiled Artist

Veteran Member
I think it would if it were one of your own children.

Not the person but the action. I can't hate someone as a human being. Their behavior yes, their person, no. I had an issue with my father. I don't talk to him much. I try to put barriers between him and I. I still love him. When he calls, I still talk to him. Just some things I don't respect and I tell him this. It's hard to forgive him but he is not my enemy. I can stop talking to him for years and I'd still feel the same.

Maybe the majority wants everyone to think alike but some people just don't.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
When it comes to people harming me or doing me wrong, i see it more as a karmic repayment for something i may have done in the past, so when i "suffer" from what others do to toward me, it is more as paying my karmic debt. So actually those who try to harm me, is helping me to learn not to do harm toward them

Remember, some people are just sick
 
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