Love is not an easy experience when we have different spiritual background :)

[Spirit of Light]

My life just got very good in many ways but very difficult in the same time.
Over the summer my feelings for my female Muslim friend has grown, and so has her feelings for me.
So what to do as the man I am, I decided to speak with her father for advice ( with her blessing first of course) I would not discussed a topic this serious with her family without her knowing it.
So the issue of can or can't she see me or not as more then friends well it turn out that her father do not see it as a problem not do the rest of her family. But.... What do Islam teaching say. Well it is to me a bit fuzzy, but a bit difficult situation can be solved "very easy" as her father so gently put it convert or not convert
So now I know I am allowed to tell her my feelings and she can to me( sort of) and being alone with her at this stage is not very smart, because I do not want to make this bad for her or her family. In public I don't think we can be fully alone yet, fuzzy moment again

So next step is involving the mosque and see what the imam will say ( if he say no, I kick his butt....gently. But honestly inter spiritual relationship is not that easy

I am sure this OP will generate some tension and many questions, that is ok, but I can not answer everything because I honestly do not know how to reply yet.

She and her family are Sunni so I think if you are a Sunni your self it could help to answer some of the more fuzzy things for me.
And if you are not in to Islam or have an answer that help me, no need to reply, except if you have genuine good reason to ask of course

I do think 99% of the Muslims here will tell me to convert if I want to be with her we will see

 

[stvdv]

Well it is to me a bit fuzzy, but a bit difficult situation can be solved "very easy" as her father so gently put it convert or not convert

Love is not an easy experience when we have different spiritual background

Haha, you got yourself into quite a challenge. Can be very educational.

I know a little from personal experience. When I met my master I made a mental decision and decide "I only (as I always had the feeling it's not my path) marry if my Master gives me a wife, and gives me a compelling reason to marry". Once my Master came into my dream and told me "I give you this woman as a wife". In the dream I was amazed, she was beautiful and young, like me, and I remember saying in the dream to my Master "she is too good for me". Then the dream was over, and I forgot about it (I did contemplate it a little ... she Muslim, I am not, so no chance ... but she is gorgeous, so I was tempted ... but my resolve never to marry, already made at age 10, stood firm).

A few month later when I visited the Ashram of my Master, you will not believe this, but the first person I ran into, just walking through the gate, was this woman.

I can tell you, that was kind of a shocker. Since that moment I know that my Master is for real. No messing around. knows my every thought.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I do know that usually the man converts to Islam if she is Muslima.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Love is not an easy experience when we have different spiritual background

Haha, you got yourself into quite a challenge. Can be very educational.

I know a little from personal experience. When I met my master I made a mental decision and decide "I only (as I always had the feeling it's not my path) marry if my Master gives me a wife, and gives me a compelling reason to marry". Once my Master came into my dream and told me "I give you this woman as a wife". In the dream I was amazed, she was beautiful and young, like me, and I remember saying in the dream to my Master "she is too good for me". Then the dream was over, and I forgot about it (I did contemplate it a little ... she Muslim, I am not, so no chance ... but she is gorgeous, so I was tempted ... but my resolve never to marry, already made at age 10, stood firm).

A few month later when I visited the Ashram of my Master, you will not believe this, but the first person I ran into, just walking through the gate, was this woman.

I can tell you, that was kind of a shocker. Since that moment I know that my Master is for real. No messing around. knows my every thought.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I do know that usually the man converts to Islam if she is Muslima.

I like your answer and yes it seems like your master know what he do
I do agree this situation for me is difficult, I do see a good relationship in the future with her, but am I willing to leave my personal belief behind or can I marry without becoming a Muslim my self.... At the moment only time will tell

 

[Estro Felino]

If I may express my personal opinion, real love is about respecting your partner's free will.
Not to impose him anything as a proof of his love.
I would never ask my boyfriend/husband to convert to my religion. Whether he is an atheist, a Hindu...a Protestant...whatever.
I would want him to preserve his own uniqueness, which is what made me fall in love with him.

Of course this is just my perspective.
My advise is: follow thy heart.

 

[stvdv]

I do agree this situation for me is difficult

I totally understand

I do see a good relationship in the future with her

The first step is good, now figure out all the other steps.
Muslim is all about family. I never had the desire for children/marriage, but I met a woman, and she pretended she was fine with that, but after a while it was clear, she did liked at least 5 children and to marry. Those practical things are best made very clear from the start to avoid a bad ending IMO.

but am I willing to leave my personal belief behind or can I marry without becoming a Muslim my self.... At the moment only time will tell

From experience I "know" that the first answer mostly is quite to the point and most honest.
Reading below quote of father carefully, I read "if you convert the difficult situation can be solved" ... "if you convert not then it can't be solved".
IF that is the case then you know exactly what to do. So better find out what the father really wants, because Islam is generally about family (a lot)

but a bit difficult situation can be solved "very easy" as her father so gently put it convert or not convert

 

[Spirit of Light]

If I may express my personal opinion, real love is about respecting your partner's free will.
Not to impose him anything as a proof of his love.
I would never ask my boyfriend/husband to convert to my religion. Whether he is an atheist, a Hindu...a Protestant...whatever.
I would want him to preserve his own uniqueness, which is what made me fall in love with him.

Of course this is just my perspective.
My advise is: follow thy heart.

The good thing is that she has not asked this of me, her family asked my view of it, but no pressure from them. But I do understand your view too

 

[stvdv]

I would never ask my boyfriend/husband to convert to my religion.

Neither would I.

But this is a different situation, Islam is about converting when Muslima marries non-Muslim (A Muslima explained this to me).

 

[Spirit of Light]

I totally understand


The first step is good, now figure out all the other steps.
Muslim is all about family. I never had the desire for children/marriage, but I met a woman, and she pretended she was fine with that, but after a while it was clear, she did liked at least 5 children and to marry. Those practical things are best made very clear from the start to avoid a bad ending IMO.


From experience I "know" that the first answer mostly is quite to the point and most honest.
Reading below quote of father carefully, I read "if you convert the difficult situation can be solved" ... "if you convert not then it can't be solved".
IF that is the case then you know exactly what to do. So better find out what the father really wants, because Islam is generally about family (a lot)

Her father say that it is up to me and he don't say no if she want to marry me even I do not become a Muslim I do think the imam maybe do see it as a must, but we speak with him later this week. I am not going to fear his words

 

[stvdv]

The good thing is that she has not asked this of me, her family asked my view of it, but no pressure from them. But I do understand your view too

Islam has very high values and strict disciplines, so it can be used to live your spiritual path
But, it's also about culture, and it's so much different from what you are used to
Maybe it's a good start to dive into it, and see how you "really feel about it"
I went many times to a Mosque, just to get the feeling/experience
Because you never get it from thinking/reading; just jump in
Visiting a Mosque is a small step as compared to marry

 

[stvdv]

Her father say that it is up to me and he don't say no if she want to marry me even I do not become a Muslim

Wow.

Beautiful.

That takes the heat off

Very happy to hear this

 

[Spirit of Light]

Islam has very high values and strict disciplines, so it can be used to live your spiritual path
But, it's also about culture, and it's so much different from what you are used to
Maybe it's a good start to dive into it, and see how you "really feel about it"
I went many times to a Mosque, just to get the feeling/experience
Because you never get it from thinking/reading; just jump in
Visiting a Mosque is a small step as compared to marry

You are wise. You read my mind, because as you say is what I thinking of doing

 

[Gargovic Malkav]

I think your beliefs and principles need to be in tune with their definition of Islam if you wish to convert officially. Because otherwise your intentions to convert aren't pure imo.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I think your beliefs and principles need to be in tune with their definition of Islam if you wish to convert officially. Because otherwise your intentions to convert aren't pure imo.

That is very true. I am reading up on Sunni belief and how to live correct, to see if it is to far from my current spiritual belief.

 

[ChristineM]

I'm not muslim so can't comment on the religious implications.

What i am going to say is that I've seen this coming for a few months and i wish you both the very best.

One thing is for sure, you do seem to love a challenge. N

 

[Fool]

My life just got very good in many ways but very difficult in the same time.
Over the summer my feelings for my female Muslim friend has grown, and so has her feelings for me.
So what to do as the man I am, I decided to speak with her father for advice ( with her blessing first of course) I would not discussed a topic this serious with her family without her knowing it.
So the issue of can or can't she see me or not as more then friends well it turn out that her father do not see it as a problem not do the rest of her family. But.... What do Islam teaching say. Well it is to me a bit fuzzy, but a bit difficult situation can be solved "very easy" as her father so gently put it convert or not convert
So now I know I am allowed to tell her my feelings and she can to me( sort of) and being alone with her at this stage is not very smart, because I do not want to make this bad for her or her family. In public I don't think we can be fully alone yet, fuzzy moment again

So next step is involving the mosque and see what the imam will say ( if he say no, I kick his butt....gently. But honestly inter spiritual relationship is not that easy

I am sure this OP will generate some tension and many questions, that is ok, but I can not answer everything because I honestly do not know how to reply yet.

She and her family are Sunni so I think if you are a Sunni your self it could help to answer some of the more fuzzy things for me.
And if you are not in to Islam or have an answer that help me, no need to reply, except if you have genuine good reason to ask of course

I do think 99% of the Muslims here will tell me to convert if I want to be with her we will see

if taken literally and to the letter, probably not. figuratively and impersonally with love all things are possible.


what we wear doesn't decide whether we choose to be compassionate, or divisive. the clothes do not make the man. the actions of the heart determine the character of a man.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I'm not muslim so can't comment on the religious implications.

What i am going to say is that I've seen this coming for a few months and i wish you both the very best.

One thing is for sure, you do seem to love a challenge. N

Thank you
You have understood it well @ChristineM yes it has been something that build up this summer.

And yes I love a challenge like this if I can make it to become more then a challenge is still to be seen. But at the moment it looking good.

 

[Spirit of Light]

if taken literally and to the letter, probably not. figuratively and impersonally with love all things are possible.


what we wear doesn't decide whether we choose to be compassionate, or divisive. the clothes do not make the man. the actions of the heart determine the character of a man.

So true

 

[icehorse]

My life just got very good in many ways but very difficult in the same time.
Over the summer my feelings for my female Muslim friend has grown, and so has her feelings for me.

I would start by discussing core values with each other. For example, do you both place a high value on the golden rule? If so, why would either of you ask the other to convert?

My sense is that old cultural norms and sometimes religious norms run counter to our core values.

 

[Estro Felino]

I would start by discussing core values with each other. For example, do you both place a high value on the golden rule? If so, why would either of you ask the other to convert?

My sense is that old cultural norms and sometimes religious norms run counter to our core values.

Indeed. Converting to a religion just to please someone you love is not the best way to choose a faith.
Unless the conversion is something formal and apparent. And not the fruit of a very profound spiritual search.

 

[Spirit of Light]

I would start by discussing core values with each other. For example, do you both place a high value on the golden rule? If so, why would either of you ask the other to convert?

My sense is that old cultural norms and sometimes religious norms run counter to our core values.

I have no wish to ask her to convert if we can both keep our belief that would be the best, but yes we will have to do discuss core values