Love advice....

[jewscout]

Yep, that's pretty much how I am a lot of the time. It's because it's a challenge. I LOVE the challenge. If a guy is too easy to snare, it's hardcore boring.

yeah that's been my experience...when i'm single it can't get a girl...when i've got one all the others are all on me like white on rice....i'm like hell where were u 3 months ago when i was single trying to hook up?:sarcastic

 

[Circle_One]

yeah that's been my experience...when i'm single it can't get a girl...when i've got one all the others are all on me like white on rice....i'm like hell where were u 3 months ago when i was single trying to hook up?:sarcastic

Yeah, I can imagine how annoying that can get for guys. In order to have girls fawning all over you, you must first have a girlfriend, but when single the girls don't want to fawn. It's a really bad catch-22.

 

[Sunstone]

Yeah, I can imagine how annoying that can get for guys. In order to have girls fawning all over you, you must first have a girlfriend, but when single the girls don't want to fawn. It's a really bad catch-22.

It certainly encourages cheating.

 

[jewscout]

It certainly encourages cheating.

yeah it does which can be the most frustrating test....
I remember a story my ex once told me that i think is very telling....
She said, and this was a few months before we started dating, that she was at a party with some friends of hers and there was this guy there that they knew. Now he was, apparently, really cute but had a gf...now that didn't stop them from hitting on him...and later that night one of her friends ended up sleeping with him. Now she looks at me and said that she and all her friends were all excited that this guy had cheated on his gf w/ their friend...not because his gf was a b!tch or anything, but just that he was really cute. She thought this was a good thing!
So i looked at her and said, and this was ok with you? She was like, yeah. I said, but what about his girl? She basically said, so what.
then i said...well is it ok if some chick wants to sleep with me cause she thinks i'm cute?

Yeah she got real quiet after that one....

 

[Hope]

Soul, I agree with what someone else said....a lot more than you think is totally mental. Girls in general do like a guy who has this air of confidence about him, or at least is totally comfortable with who he is. And, yes, though it has already been said, just be who you are! Cause the girl who is meant for you will love you for simply being you. No more, no less.

Don't give up, Soul. I'm rooting for you all the way.

 

[Mr Spinkles]

Ok, I am gettin older and I need this advice..cos I have never had the chance to use it. However, maybe ONE day in the future, some girl might come along..

How do you treat a girl on a date? What do you say to her? Where do you take them? ANy advice, from anyone here..go on, help the ol SoulTYPE..I gotta learn sometime

Maybe Ceridwen and Spinkles, seeing as they expertise in this, can help..

Take her out to dinner, or to a movie, or to the art museum. Open doors for her, pull out her chair for her, and pay for her. Ask her about her day, and above all be yourself.

 

[Ceridwen018]

So THAT'S your strategy! Ah, I knew it! I'm onto you now, mister!

Anyhow, the best advice that I can give to you, Soul--and I tell my mom this all the time--is that you can't be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself. Once you can be independent and happy, without feeling like you need or you've got to have someone else, you will be ready to find that someone. From reading your posts, that seems like it might be a problem for you--you seem to want a girl RIGHT NOW. Well, it's a lot like fishing--you'll only catch one when you're not paying attention.

Also, Watcher hit it right on the nose when she talked about 'little things.' For anyone who wants to understand a fundamental characteristic of women: It's not about the big diamond necklaces and vacations in Hawaii...not that those aren't also nice ...it's about the little things.

 

[fromthe heart]

Some have given you the best advice of all...just be yourself but remember that you must have value in yourself...it has something to do with how you seem to girls. If you think you're ok then they will too. and once you do take a girl out the little things mean SOOO much. Like a single rose presented on your first date shows you care and have some class. Open those car doors...and all the doors, don't trip all over yourself trying NOT to say the wrong thing you'll just make her as uncomfortable as you are...if you do something stupid don't get flustered...laugh at yourself and keep things light. You are your worst enemy...you don't have a lot of value in yourself and I imagine you come of with that feeling...knock that off...you are ok...say it out loud..."I'm ok, I have value, any girl would be lucky to be my date to get to know who I am"...ok...Pep talk to yourself...get that positive energy going...now go getem' sweetie...you can do it...I'm rootin' for ya'. :jam:

 

[SoulTYPE]

Damn I gotta move to US, the girls here definitly don't sound as good as you all say they are here.
The "little" things usually get a laugh, not a kindness reward..

Everywhere I have lived (in Victoria) the girls want you to have a fast car, drive around like a mad mofo,smoke weed and act tough..

Hope, like I said to Watcher. If it was all in my head that girls will not date me, why would I go looking for them? I would merely say "meh, they don't want me so why bother looking"..

I should film an AVI of me asking a girl out, and post a link to it here.. we'll see then.

 

[Watcher]

I'm not saying you don't want to date girls. I am just pointing out that your self-image may be a little off, or, more aptly put, low self-esteem.
Remember Soul---You are da man!

 

[Watcher]

Now, girls of RF, do not be scared of this; but I think a few ofyou are very nice to share conversations and stuff with. Thanks.

Well, you must be refering to me!

 

[SoulTYPE]

I'm not saying you don't want to date girls. I am just pointing out that your self-image may be a little off, or, more aptly put, low self-esteem.

as strange as this may sound, it is slight mental condition. I have posted that on the board before, but heh.

 

[Watcher]

as strange as this may sound, it is slight mental condition. I have posted that on the board before, but heh.

Yah yah, I know. Try not to dwell on what you think are your faults to much, you have to learn how to accept yourself for who you are. If a person you want to date can't accept you, then you obviously are talking to all the wrong girls.

 

[SoulTYPE]

Yah yah, I know. Try not to dwell on what you think are your faults to much, .

You implying that I am lying about a matter llike this? If you do not believe me I will have o have all the psychiatrists and doctors become members here..

 

[Watcher]

You implying that I am lying about a matter llike this? If you do not believe me I will have o have all the psychiatrists and doctors become members here..

? ? I wasn't trying to imply you were lying about anything. I was merely stating that I knew you had mentioned that you had low self esteem before, and that is was a mental condition. I also simply said to try not and dwell on what you think are your faults that a girl might not like because you might be surprised. Sorry if I offended you.....

 

[SoulTYPE]

No, no, sorry dear Watcher. I took it the wrong way. Now, return me to my box..

 

[Watcher]

No, no, sorry dear Watcher. I took it the wrong way. Now, return me to my box..

Lol, it's okay Soul.
I think that we need to put SoulTYPE on one of those horridly stupid reality TV shows.
We could call it---"Dating Death's Apprentice" or something corny like that.

 

[SoulTYPE]

LMFAO!!!

But I am better than appearing on some corny game show..unless it is the Aussie Priceis Right..Thankyou for these words Watcher, my day has become much more



The girls here at RF kick arse!

 

[Hope]

I'm not saying you don't want to date girls. I am just pointing out that your self-image may be a little off, or, more aptly put, low self-esteem.
Remember Soul---You are da man!

What she said, Soul!!

Seriously, though, I like how fromthe heart put it. Value yourself....don't be so hard on yourself. It really does make a difference! And I also totally agree with Ceridwen---sometimes being too eager to find someone can send out the wrong 'vibes', so to speak. If you feel you can't be happy till you find someone, then you are basing your happiness on something that it shouldn't be based on. People will always let other people down, whether intentional or not---it's just human nature. So unless your happiness is complete in yourself, and not dependent on some other person, you are only asking for heartache. The more content you are just being you, the greater the chances are for you to be truly happy and content in a relationship with a girl.

 

[Bastet]

Anyhow, the best advice that I can give to you, Soul--and I tell my mom this all the time--is that you can't be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself. Once you can be independent and happy, without feeling like you need or you've got to have someone else, you will be ready to find that someone. From reading your posts, that seems like it might be a problem for you--you seem to want a girl RIGHT NOW. Well, it's a lot like fishing--you'll only catch one when you're not paying attention

Seriously, though, I like how fromthe heart put it. Value yourself....don't be so hard on yourself. It really does make a difference! And I also totally agree with Ceridwen---sometimes being too eager to find someone can send out the wrong 'vibes', so to speak. If you feel you can't be happy till you find someone, then you are basing your happiness on something that it shouldn't be based on. People will always let other people down, whether intentional or not---it's just human nature. So unless your happiness is complete in yourself, and not dependent on some other person, you are only asking for heartache. The more content you are just being you, the greater the chances are for you to be truly happy and content in a relationship with a girl.

I think both the above posts are right. I said it to you once before (and got a rather...ah...heated response from you in return, if I remember correctly ) -- you can't expect someone to love you, if you don't love yourself. I know you've been making some progress in this direction, but you're not there yet. Work on that, and the rest will come.

My advice on the whole dating arena (from what very little experience I've had myself in that department), is this: for a first date, avoid going to a movie. Choosing the 'right' movie a tricky thing; some chicks might not be into action flicks, and any hint of romance - or a sex scene - could be embarrassing rather than inspiring. You like horror, and you might score there (scariness might make her jump into your lap for protection ). But, apart from that, you can't talk in a movie...unless you're having dinner or drinks before or after, you have wasted potential 'get to know you' time, and may lose your chance. That's my opinion anyway...feel free to disagree lol.