You missed some of the influences.
English is a composite, almost Creole language of the following;
Norse, Anglo-Saxon, Saxon, Frisian, Juttish, Flemish, Dutch, Celt-Latin, Norman-French and some Welsh.
There's probably even more, but that's the gist of it. That's why it's so damn hard for others to learn it. There is no "order" to it. German has rules that apply to all their words. In English, we've got light suggestions that we ignore whenever the mood strikes us.
Yeah, English is a mutt. Or more like tofu... it absorbs anything it comes in contact with. People also don't realize how much of English is influence even by Sanskrit and Hindi... candy, punch, bungalow, cummerbund, sugar, shampoo, and the list goes on, a legacy of the British in India. But when languages come in contact with each other, weird things happen.