Emily Shipgod
New Member
Do you think that living with your significant other before marriage is a sin? Even if your intentions are to evaluate how compatible you two are together before "tying the knot"?
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Living With Your Significant Other Before Marriage
- Thread starter Emily Shipgod
- Start date
exchemist
Veteran Member
No I don't and I don't think the church is any position at all to give the rest of us lectures on sexual morality. The whole position of the church on sex is incoherent, based as it largely is on inherited ideas from the centuries before contraception uncoupled sex from procreation.
"Sin" is a concept specific to particular religions to which I do not belong. It specifically means a transgression against the one-god of the Abrahamic religions. I do not worship that god, and it has no place in my life. As such, I really don't care if I transgress against that god's laws and would not ask this question.
But if by "sin" we mean "is this a good idea or a bad idea" sans the religious context? Well, let's put it this way. Say you're buying a house. This house is the only house you will be allowed to buy and once you purchase it, there's no going back. Your decision is final, and this is the house you will live in until you die. I would sincerely question the faculties of anyone who would make a decision like that without visiting the house first.
But if by "sin" we mean "is this a good idea or a bad idea" sans the religious context? Well, let's put it this way. Say you're buying a house. This house is the only house you will be allowed to buy and once you purchase it, there's no going back. Your decision is final, and this is the house you will live in until you die. I would sincerely question the faculties of anyone who would make a decision like that without visiting the house first.
It wasn't sinful at all.
It was practical & good.
Having done it both ways, I'd say that - at least for me - living together first was the better option for setting the marriage up for success... so from my perspective, people who value marriage should support cohabitation before marriage.
Audie
Veteran Member
"Sin"? If someone's chosen middle eastern sky god
says it is a sin, then to them, it is. Fine.
This is not worth discussion.
Audie
Veteran Member
That is how I see my life.
GoodbyeDave
Well-Known Member
As Quintessence said, for many of us the concept of "sin" is meaningless. Similarly, in my religion marriage is nothing to do with religion, but a private contract. In view of the consequences of a failed marriage, especially after children have been born, I'd say a trial run would be the best policy.
Sometimes people are afraid to get married and for good reason. If anything goes wrong they get blamed by society. Under such conditions its a good idea not to jump into marriage, however living with someone unmarried still does not tell you what they will do after you are married and can't get away easily. The entire problem is the blame and scorn and the requirement not to divorce ever, and people living together is relatively less sinful than that. Why? It is because it is less harmful.
I will add that a study of the Torah reveals that it is wrong to shame a woman without good cause. How is it that our western society has left behind the principle?
BSM1
What? Me worry?
Doesn't always work that way. Knew two couples that didn't make it. One couple lived together for about 8 years, got married, and divorced 6 months later. The other couple lived together for about 2 years, got married, and didn't even make it through the honeymoon (seriously, the husband went on the cruise by himself). Although I don't disagree with you, I think that if two people love each other, then they should legally marry as a sign of commitment if nothing else.
dianaiad
Well-Known Member
Yep. Dumb idea. Doesn't work, either. According to at least one source (US attorney legal services...who got their info from the US census) while the probability of a first marriage ending up in separation or divorce within five years is 20%, whereas the probability of a marriage preceded by cohabitation is more along the lines of 49%.
Oh, and in case one thinks that it would be better to just stay 'co-habitated' rather than get married, it seems that the probability of a first marriage breaking up in ten years is 33%, whereas a co-habitation breaking up is 69%
Well, I don't accept the idea of 'sin' as a reasonable one. But do I think that living together before marriage is wrong? No, I do not.
In fact, I think it is a very good idea. It should be encouraged, just like people should be encouraged to have sex before the marry. This is way too important of a topic to make decisions based on no experience.
While I think that if two people love each other, there is no reason to tell the government about it. Commitment should be made clear daily via actions between the people involved. Marriage is good for various legal benefits, but that's about it.
BSM1
What? Me worry?
Has nothing to do with telling the government anything. It's telling the world that this is a legitimate lifetime commitment without using something as nebulous as a Unicorn Pinkie Finger Oath. If your not willing to stand for a legally binding contract for your feelings, maybe you're just making sure you're leaving yourself an easily accessible escape hatch.
*shrug* Why tell the world? Tell you friends and family and go from there.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" often makes a lot of sense.
BSM1
What? Me worry?
Go back and read my edited post.
Remté
Active Member
They didn't mention sex.
Hmm...in most countries, there is a 'escape hatch' from marriages anyway. If there aren't kids, it is even pretty easily available. So I'm not sure why that would make a difference.
If you need a legal marriage to show your commitment, it seems that your commitment is pretty fragile. Just My Viewpoint.