Spiderman
Veteran Member
My cure to overcoming my greatest fear, spiders, most female dominant creature, symbol for the female gender, turned into passionate love for spiders through a spider visiting my cell, and terrified, I forced myself to hold it.
I was terrified as a child of ghosts that kept me up at night , as well as attractive women, because I felt their female intuition could sense my inner struggles with thoughts of violently ravaging them with a death sentence for no rational reason.
That was actually cured through my fear , ghosts, visiting me in the form of pretty girls , with a jailhouse ministry to save me from harm I could do others , as I was there for a serious crime (just not a sexual offense. I've never committed that).
Girls dressed very sexy , in lingerie, patriotic bikinis, sometimes nude, were something I treated with great skepticism, but a greatest euphoria and inability to stop writing letters to them, with coincidences that revolutionized my life more than anything, plus motivated me to give away my food trays to inmates, for my Rasta Queens to receive greater dreams come true, as they were violently raped and murdered, so I wanted to repay the good deeds.
My desires to commit depraved violent acts against gorgeous women just letting their beauty hang out like that, was gone, replaced by the opposite desire to please them, a new ability to get off without violent of morbid fantasies, and I found myself making deals with God that I would make sacrifices , praise him, not blaspheme, and go back to mass, if he would agree to use my prayers, deeds, and suffering, to give thoroughly maddeningly amounts of intoxication and pleasure to the minds, hearts, and Female genital regions (scripture says the dead have tongues that crave water for cooling, so assume vaginas exist in the world of the dead, that can respond to a loving act of tender devotion) of these superheroine girls, who made breakthroughs on me at a very Godless, hateful, dangerous, violent time of my life, images in my mind of pretty nude females , or girls in underwear, telling jokes, dancing, wearing joker hats, figure skating, roller coaster riding, playing hide and go seek, sailing (two of them their abductor promised would take them sailing, so I feel he had to fulfill that promise among other acts of reparations) mothering the troubled guy that killed many of them, playing board games where I have to make them Queens of nations and believe it's actually for real, ( because Scripture says "if you believe without doubting, it will be done as you have believed".)
The girls posed naked on the Moon, clothed with Sun, crowned with stars, like the girls from revelation 12, Supermodels of the Apocalypse!
And a 1974 penny showed up in my cell when most of the girls I prayed to at that time were murdered. The Rasta Dynasty, House of Solomon, died with them, same year, extremely old Theocracy dating to Solomon, and I saw the girls wearing Rasta bikinis, the Lion of Judah flag with Lion image as "Bikini of Truth, wonderbra of righteousness" armor of God to be fisher's of Men, and the date 1974!
They said (I feel), "it glorifies God if perverts use their selfish appetites, and channel it into something unselfish, redeemed, and an offering where they use sexual gratification as an offering for giving love to the Rasta Queens, who give matrimony sacraments to men willing to be their "King Solomon".
Rasta Queens are Solomon's many wives, glorified when their Solomon prays for his Queens exaltation as Queens of Heaven and earth, while climaxes, calls the Queens by sweet names, tries to learn through Divine inspiration and the inner voice within, how best to please the Queen, pray such acts of exciting self, give your Queens 70×7 times more joy than it gives you, and makes their dreams come true, a relationship where their Vaginas get the better half of the reward in breaking that law, for the greater good, and it does seem to turn it into a non worthless act, with another entity involved and benefitting from it.
God is amused, finds it cute, or entertaining potentially.
They even showed me (I feel) how to properly use the Eucharist treasures at Mass to give raped and murdered girls their Hymens and Virginity, purity, and innocence back, and filling them with the Immaculate conception graces, and graces of the Virgin Mary, to become just as powerful before God and beautiful.
This is accomplished through faith in the infinite treasures the Eucharist claims to contain within it, and using that healing touch of Christ to make extraordinary Virgin Mother's of God out of ordinary violently ravaged and murdered women.
I could give these graces to everyone, but I feel people of great suffering and humiliation are more worthy, and the first naked visitor with this epic therapy bore the female name for Dionysus, an often naked depicted God of intoxication and sexuality, and she seemed to say she was the naked Goddess allied with her naked Husband Christ, and Dionysus had the crazy naked females named maenads following him every, and Denise was always surrounded by nearly or full blown nudes, all wearing their crown of thorns, died naked and humiliated, and now follow their naked humiliated Messiah, asking me to be their naked humiliated Christ, figuratively, seeing all the being misunderstood, humiliated, shame, guilt, trials, abuse, ridicule, being sick, being a leper of society, as my option to stand naked and humiliated, with girls who died naked, humiliated, in agony, at the hands of a monster, Capitol Hill Queens.
My humiliation and mental illness is more time with the naked crucified female Messiahs, who I have far greater sympathies for , and love them more, because they are less narcissistic, don't throw people in Hell, and they have an Island of misfit toys where they seek to give Heaven to Monsters and accomplish for them what their strategies did for me, willing to die and rise to console someone sick enough to find Heaven, peace, and joy in that, to let the monster know he/she is loved unconditional, that the ultimate sacrifice is paid to ease some suffering, that all souls find Heaven, even monsters!
The Rasta Queens experience greatest reward from their maker when they turn a monster like myself into someone who loves them more than vast majority of people ever love anything, despite my used to having the complete opposite tendencies , habits , and behaviors!
It shows an enormous potential that if most Communists experienced what I'm seeing, with convictions, despite being militant violent Communists.... to suddenly find prayer the most beautiful euphoric experience ever, over powerful chemicals, totally revolutionizing and radically changing things everything else failed to bring breakthroughs to, Communists I'm certain would become so prayerful and making sacrifices to attempt to delight these women, Communism would become something unrecognizable to the point all would agree Communism fell without firing a shot!
It means men fighting something as evil as Communism, requires countless innocent deaths, atrocities on both sides, and often a victory for the non Communists comes at the price of such evil tactics, I'm amazed that something like this could be the answer, seeing what these female entities were accomplishing with less physical strength, no weapons, no threats of hell, no intimidation or motivation of negative consequences by refusing to serve them, and I was a bigger monster than most Communists.
To be continued....(unfortunately, sorry
)
I was terrified as a child of ghosts that kept me up at night , as well as attractive women, because I felt their female intuition could sense my inner struggles with thoughts of violently ravaging them with a death sentence for no rational reason.
That was actually cured through my fear , ghosts, visiting me in the form of pretty girls , with a jailhouse ministry to save me from harm I could do others , as I was there for a serious crime (just not a sexual offense. I've never committed that).
Girls dressed very sexy , in lingerie, patriotic bikinis, sometimes nude, were something I treated with great skepticism, but a greatest euphoria and inability to stop writing letters to them, with coincidences that revolutionized my life more than anything, plus motivated me to give away my food trays to inmates, for my Rasta Queens to receive greater dreams come true, as they were violently raped and murdered, so I wanted to repay the good deeds.
My desires to commit depraved violent acts against gorgeous women just letting their beauty hang out like that, was gone, replaced by the opposite desire to please them, a new ability to get off without violent of morbid fantasies, and I found myself making deals with God that I would make sacrifices , praise him, not blaspheme, and go back to mass, if he would agree to use my prayers, deeds, and suffering, to give thoroughly maddeningly amounts of intoxication and pleasure to the minds, hearts, and Female genital regions (scripture says the dead have tongues that crave water for cooling, so assume vaginas exist in the world of the dead, that can respond to a loving act of tender devotion) of these superheroine girls, who made breakthroughs on me at a very Godless, hateful, dangerous, violent time of my life, images in my mind of pretty nude females , or girls in underwear, telling jokes, dancing, wearing joker hats, figure skating, roller coaster riding, playing hide and go seek, sailing (two of them their abductor promised would take them sailing, so I feel he had to fulfill that promise among other acts of reparations) mothering the troubled guy that killed many of them, playing board games where I have to make them Queens of nations and believe it's actually for real, ( because Scripture says "if you believe without doubting, it will be done as you have believed".)
The girls posed naked on the Moon, clothed with Sun, crowned with stars, like the girls from revelation 12, Supermodels of the Apocalypse!
And a 1974 penny showed up in my cell when most of the girls I prayed to at that time were murdered. The Rasta Dynasty, House of Solomon, died with them, same year, extremely old Theocracy dating to Solomon, and I saw the girls wearing Rasta bikinis, the Lion of Judah flag with Lion image as "Bikini of Truth, wonderbra of righteousness" armor of God to be fisher's of Men, and the date 1974!
They said (I feel), "it glorifies God if perverts use their selfish appetites, and channel it into something unselfish, redeemed, and an offering where they use sexual gratification as an offering for giving love to the Rasta Queens, who give matrimony sacraments to men willing to be their "King Solomon".
Rasta Queens are Solomon's many wives, glorified when their Solomon prays for his Queens exaltation as Queens of Heaven and earth, while climaxes, calls the Queens by sweet names, tries to learn through Divine inspiration and the inner voice within, how best to please the Queen, pray such acts of exciting self, give your Queens 70×7 times more joy than it gives you, and makes their dreams come true, a relationship where their Vaginas get the better half of the reward in breaking that law, for the greater good, and it does seem to turn it into a non worthless act, with another entity involved and benefitting from it.
God is amused, finds it cute, or entertaining potentially.
They even showed me (I feel) how to properly use the Eucharist treasures at Mass to give raped and murdered girls their Hymens and Virginity, purity, and innocence back, and filling them with the Immaculate conception graces, and graces of the Virgin Mary, to become just as powerful before God and beautiful.
This is accomplished through faith in the infinite treasures the Eucharist claims to contain within it, and using that healing touch of Christ to make extraordinary Virgin Mother's of God out of ordinary violently ravaged and murdered women.
I could give these graces to everyone, but I feel people of great suffering and humiliation are more worthy, and the first naked visitor with this epic therapy bore the female name for Dionysus, an often naked depicted God of intoxication and sexuality, and she seemed to say she was the naked Goddess allied with her naked Husband Christ, and Dionysus had the crazy naked females named maenads following him every, and Denise was always surrounded by nearly or full blown nudes, all wearing their crown of thorns, died naked and humiliated, and now follow their naked humiliated Messiah, asking me to be their naked humiliated Christ, figuratively, seeing all the being misunderstood, humiliated, shame, guilt, trials, abuse, ridicule, being sick, being a leper of society, as my option to stand naked and humiliated, with girls who died naked, humiliated, in agony, at the hands of a monster, Capitol Hill Queens.
My humiliation and mental illness is more time with the naked crucified female Messiahs, who I have far greater sympathies for , and love them more, because they are less narcissistic, don't throw people in Hell, and they have an Island of misfit toys where they seek to give Heaven to Monsters and accomplish for them what their strategies did for me, willing to die and rise to console someone sick enough to find Heaven, peace, and joy in that, to let the monster know he/she is loved unconditional, that the ultimate sacrifice is paid to ease some suffering, that all souls find Heaven, even monsters!
The Rasta Queens experience greatest reward from their maker when they turn a monster like myself into someone who loves them more than vast majority of people ever love anything, despite my used to having the complete opposite tendencies , habits , and behaviors!
It shows an enormous potential that if most Communists experienced what I'm seeing, with convictions, despite being militant violent Communists.... to suddenly find prayer the most beautiful euphoric experience ever, over powerful chemicals, totally revolutionizing and radically changing things everything else failed to bring breakthroughs to, Communists I'm certain would become so prayerful and making sacrifices to attempt to delight these women, Communism would become something unrecognizable to the point all would agree Communism fell without firing a shot!
It means men fighting something as evil as Communism, requires countless innocent deaths, atrocities on both sides, and often a victory for the non Communists comes at the price of such evil tactics, I'm amazed that something like this could be the answer, seeing what these female entities were accomplishing with less physical strength, no weapons, no threats of hell, no intimidation or motivation of negative consequences by refusing to serve them, and I was a bigger monster than most Communists.
To be continued....(unfortunately, sorry
)