Living Skillfully: The Most Useful Lesson

[joe1776]

The most useful lesson that I have learned in my 85 years on this planet was not learned in a classroom or from a book. The most useful lesson came from playing Bridge and Poker. The lesson is an attitude: Accept the hand dealt as a given and play it for the best possible result.

Adaptability to changing conditions is the most useful of all human traits because it enables our species to survive and thrive. Those conditions would be very different for a black female living in the American South in the year 1820 than those for a white male living in the American North in 2020. However, both might learn to play the hand dealt skillfully. That skill would begin by adopting the attitude of accepting the hands dealt in life as a given with the objective of playing them for the best possible result.

It is my opinion that skillful players in the Game of Life will waste no time with self-pity, blaming others, or worrying about things they cannot control. Instead, they will strive to minimize their losses and maximize their gains at every opportunity. When people are depressed, it is probably because they are not accepting the hands dealt as a given.

 

[PureX]

: Accept the hand dealt as a given and play it for the best possible result.

That skill would begin by adopting the attitude of accepting the hands dealt in life as a given with the objective of playing them for the best possible result.

The best result for whom? Do we exist solely for ourselves? I'm not sure I buy into this. It sounds rather self-centered to me.

 

[Secret Chief]

The most useful lesson that I have learned in my 85 years on this planet was not learned in a classroom or from a book. The most useful lesson came from playing Bridge and Poker. The lesson is an attitude: Accept the hand dealt as a given and play it for the best possible result.

Adaptability to changing conditions is the most useful of all human traits because it enables our species to survive and thrive. Those conditions would be very different for a black female living in the American South in the year 1820 than those for a white male living in the American North in 2020. However, both might learn to play the hand dealt skillfully. That skill would begin by adopting the attitude of accepting the hands dealt in life as a given with the objective of playing them for the best possible result.

It is my opinion that skillful players in the Game of Life will waste no time with self-pity, blaming others, or worrying about things they cannot control. Instead, they will strive to minimize their losses and maximize their gains at every opportunity. When people are depressed, it is probably because they are not accepting the hands dealt as a given.

Have you read Maria Konnikova's book The Biggest Bluff?

 

[joe1776]

The best result for whom? Do we exist solely for ourselves? I'm not sure I buy into this. It sounds rather self-centered to me.

It sounds that way to you because you are making the assumption that selfishness is in our best interest. It's not.

The Selfishness Paradox applies. Acting with the welfare of others foremost in our minds is rewarded by our brains with pleasure. We feel good about it. When we act purely in our selfish interests while causing harm to others, we are punished with guilt or remorse.

 

[joe1776]

Have you read Maria Konnikova's book The Biggest Bluff?

No. I searched it. I see that she uses Poker as a vehicle for learning.

 

[Augustus]

It sounds that way to you because you are making the assumption that selfishness is in our best interest. It's not.

The Selfishness Paradox applies. Acting with the welfare of others foremost in our minds is rewarded by our brains with pleasure. We feel good about it. When we act purely in our selfish interests while causing harm to others, we are punished with guilt or remorse.

Many other things are rewarded with pleasure though.

Maybe person X steals a load of money. Even (big if) they feel remorse for this, there is a good chance that what they spend it on gives them even more pleasure than 'doing the right thing' does.

Adaptability to changing conditions is the most useful of all human traits because it enables our species to survive and thrive. Those conditions would be very different for a black female living in the American South in the year 1820 than those for a white male living in the American North in 2020. However, both might learn to play the hand dealt skillfully. That skill would begin by adopting the attitude of accepting the hands dealt in life as a given with the objective of playing them for the best possible result.

Playing the best possible hand might require one to act unethically in order to achieve the best possible outcome for themselves in their environment.

The more unfavourable our environment, on average, the greater the incentive for unethical behaviour.

 

[Secret Chief]

No. I searched it. I see that she uses Poker as a vehicle for learning.

Your OP has prompted me to download the Kindle sample. Her day job is psychologist. Whilst researching this book she won $300,000 at poker.

 

[joe1776]

Many other things are rewarded with pleasure though.,,Maybe person X steals a load of money. Even (big if) they feel remorse for this, there is a good chance that what they spend it on gives them even more pleasure than 'doing the right thing' does.

Yes, and sometimes Poker players fill an inside straight. But in Poker, as in Life, we play the hand based on Probability, not on the rare exception.

Playing the best possible hand might require one to act unethically in order to achieve the best possible outcome for themselves in their environment.

Can you give me an example of the kind of act that you're thinking about?

 

[MNoBody]

-necessity is the mother of invention
-ignorance is an evolutionary motor as it drives the more intelligent to get past it.

 

[joe1776]

-necessity is the mother of invention
-ignorance is an evolutionary motor as it drives the more intelligent to get past it.

OK
What point are you making?

 

[Augustus]

Yes, and sometimes Poker players fill an inside straight. But in Poker, as in Life, we play the hand based on Probability, not on the rare exception.

It's not a rare exception, people are constantly faced with ethical choices where they weigh up 'doing the right thing' with doing what is best for themselves, what is easiest, what is most enjoyable, what piques their curiosity, etc.

Can you give me an example of the kind of act that you're thinking about?

If you start working at a perpetually corrupt government agency in a developing country you will almost certainly become corrupt too.

Not only is it basically pointless to be honest as it makes no real difference to the overall level of corruption, anyone who does so will be viewed with suspicion, passed over for opportunities and possibly hounded out (or worse).

For anyone who is not exceptionally virtuous and mentally strong, playing the best hand would be going with the flow.

Anywhere where ethical norms have broken down in some way though. Corrupt organisations, conflict zones, poverty, etc.

 

[osgart]

It's not a rare exception, people are constantly faced with ethical choices where they weigh up 'doing the right thing' with doing what is best for themselves, what is easiest, what is most enjoyable, what piques their curiosity, etc.



If you start working at a perpetually corrupt government agency in a developing country you will almost certainly become corrupt too.

Not only is it basically pointless to be honest as it makes no real difference to the overall level of corruption, anyone who does so will be viewed with suspicion, passed over for opportunities and possibly hounded out (or worse).

For anyone who is not exceptionally virtuous and mentally strong, playing the best hand would be going with the flow.

Anywhere where ethical norms have broken down in some way though. Corrupt organisations, conflict zones, poverty, etc.

Corruption leads to squalor, and bad living conditions, mistrust, and a breakdown in the function of society. Violence increases, paranoia, and danger rises in the land. All gains are short lived!

Killing honesty isn't going to lead to anything worthwhile. It's fool's gold!

 

[MNoBody]

OK
What point are you making?

 

[MNoBody]

The meaning of the Five of Cups
shows that there may be certain issues in letting go of things which are in the past.
What is more, it also shows that there is unwillingness to learn from mistakes already committed.
The card is often going to reflect [a society] which is so caught up in their unresolved past
that they are absolutely incapable of moving on.
This means that they have a high chance of missing out on what new joys that the future can bring.
perhaps there is a third option to the 2 presented by Lovecraft

 

[joe1776]

Maybe person X steals a load of money. Even (big if) they feel remorse for this, there is a good chance that what they spend it on gives them even more pleasure than 'doing the right thing' does.

It's not a rare exception, people are constantly faced with ethical choices where they weigh up 'doing the right thing' with doing what is best for themselves, what is easiest, what is most enjoyable, what piques their curiosity, etc.

How is somebody stealing a load of money (a rare event), the kind of ethical choice people are constantly faced with?

If you start working at a perpetually corrupt government agency in a developing country you will almost certainly become corrupt too.

In my OP, "accepting the hand dealt" would entail recognition that the government is corrupt and there's nothing the average citizen can do about it. This recognition doesn't guarantee that the hand will be played out wisely. In your example, going to work for a corrupt government seems to me like a dumb thing to do -- unless you want to add more facts to your example to justify the choice.

 

[MNoBody]

 

[joe1776]

The meaning of the Five of Cups
shows that there may be certain issues in letting go of things which are in the past.
What is more, it also shows that there is unwillingness to learn from mistakes already committed.
The card is often going to reflect [a society] which is so caught up in their unresolved past
that they are absolutely incapable of moving on.
This means that they have a high chance of missing out on what new joys that the future can bring.
perhaps there is a third option to the 2 presented by Lovecraft

If you can provide examples, I'll be better able to understand. What kind of mistakes in our past are unresolved?

 

[Augustus]

How is somebody stealing a load of money (a rare event), the kind of ethical choice people are constantly faced with?

Are you deliberately trying to miss the point?

People are constantly faced with ethical choices where they weigh up 'doing the right thing' with doing what is best for themselves, what is easiest, what is most enjoyable, what piques their curiosity, etc.

In my OP, "accepting the hand dealt" would entail recognition that the government is corrupt and there's nothing the average citizen can do about it. This recognition doesn't guarantee that the hand will be played out wisely. In your example, going to work for a corrupt government seems to me like a dumb thing to do -- unless you want to add more facts to your example to justify the choice.

Civil service, police, army, legal system, etc. often employ a double digit % of the workforce. This is often the best job available to many people, especially if they have family members doing the same thing .

So playing the best hand dealt often means working for the government, and this often entails engaging in the same kind of systemic corruption that pervades such organisations, especially when one realises there is nothing you can do about the corruption.

You said: "It sounds that way to you because you are making the assumption that selfishness is in our best interest. It's not."

When involved in a corrupt system, selfishness (i.e. engaging in the same corruption as everyone else) is usually in your best interest for many reasons.

 

[Augustus]

Corruption leads to squalor, and bad living conditions, mistrust, and a breakdown in the function of society. Violence increases, paranoia, and danger rises in the land. All gains are short lived!

Killing honesty isn't going to lead to anything worthwhile. It's fool's gold!

Of course it is bad on the whole, the point was that when faced with systemic corruption that you can do nothing about, it is often in your best interests to be corrupt too.

 

[joe1776]

Are you deliberately trying to miss the point?

Which point? You slapped two completely different points together. In one you offered a rare event, stealing a lot of money.

In the other you claimed that people are constantly faced with ethical choices. I'm not sure what that point has to do with my OP because you didn't explain.

Civil service, police, army, legal system, etc. often employ a double digit % of the workforce. This is often the best job available to many people, especially if they have family members doing the same thing .

It's extremely hard to believe that honest people would find that working for a corrupt government in any country was "the best job available." However, let's assume your imagined facts are true. Why do you assume that working for a corrupt government makes good, honest people corrupt?

There are always ways to sabotage corrupt governments just as anti-Nazi German civil servants sabotaged the corrupt practices of that regime however and whenever they could.