Living as a woman

[Shadow Wolf]

I had a question. I don't really understand the science of how hair works. But could taking estrogen for some time slightly change the shade of your pre-existing hair on your head? The natural color of the hair.

Not that Ive ever heard of (and how its strongly tied to genetics im not sure if it can), but hair can be weird and do things for odd reasons (mine is still the same color, but it's become more curly to the point of becoming a curly mess with high humidity or lots of sweat).

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Not that Ive ever heard of (and how its strongly tied to genetics im not sure if it can), but hair can be weird and do things for odd reasons (mine is still the same color, but it's become more curly to the point of becoming a curly mess with high humidity or lots of sweat).

Yeah sometimes I think my hair is getting a bit darker, like how healthy it did look when I was 16. But I'm only 45% sure this is happening as I have really no objective measure. I don't even know if it can happen.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Just be yourself. I never asked for advice on how to be a man. I'm just me.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Just be yourself. I never asked for advice on how to be a man. I'm just me.

That's good. Though there are a lot of elephant in the room questions too like...

Suppose a male to female dates a straight man and marries him. Then later on, they have some medical issue which causes so they can't be on hormones any more, and they have to transition back.... what then?

Of course, this is one of the more intense questions. There are a lot of issues involving dating cis men as a transgender woman that come up that may be hard to just say "be yourself and do things the way you want to" to.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

That's good. Though there are a lot of elephant in the room questions too like...

Suppose a male to female dates a straight man and marries him. Then later on, they have some medical issue which causes so they can't be on hormones any more, and they have to transition back.... what then?

Of course, this is one of the more intense questions. There are a lot of issues involving dating cis men as a transgender woman that come up that may be hard to just say "be yourself and do things the way you want to" to.

What medical issue is going to cause you to stop taking estrogen? If you don't have one now, why are you worrying about it?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

What medical issue is going to cause you to stop taking estrogen? If you don't have one now, why are you worrying about it?

I have heard multiple stories within the transgender community stating that they got questionable doctors who upon hearing about a completely different issue, often one which required some kind of surgery, that they tried to force the patient to give up HRT saying that it will help them - even if it's probably wrong and shows the bias of the doctor.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I have heard multiple stories within the transgender community stating that they got questionable doctors who upon hearing about a completely different issue, often one which required some kind of surgery, that they tried to force the patient to give up HRT saying that it will help them - even if it's probably wrong and shows the bias of the doctor.

In general, for any surgery you'll probably have to stop taking meds for awhile (it is absolutely crucial to discuss this with the surgeon so they know what you are on and so they can tell you when to safely quit and resume taking them). Even for SRS we have to stop taking our hormones for a short time so we are in better condition for surgery.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Yeah sometimes I think my hair is getting a bit darker, like how healthy it did look when I was 16. But I'm only 45% sure this is happening as I have really no objective measure. I don't even know if it can happen.

View attachment 44028

That could just be a normal part of aging. In our 30s we aren't old, but we aren't young anymore and we do start showing signs of aging.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

In general, for any surgery you'll probably have to stop taking meds for awhile (it is absolutely crucial to discuss this with the surgeon so they know what you are on and so they can tell you when to safely quit and resume taking them). Even for SRS we have to stop taking our hormones for a short time so we are in better condition for surgery.

Thanks for that clarification.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Thanks for that clarification.

This point must be reinforced.
Any surgery will likely require you to quit taking various medications. Even relatively innocuous medications like OTC NSAIDs can cause dire and severe consequences in an operating room (as they will thin your blood and make you bleed more easily, bleed more in general, and have a harder time clotting). That one can be so problematic you need to avoid taking them for awhile even just to donate blood or get a piercing because the chances of excessive bleeding are much greater.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

This point must be reinforced.
Any surgery will likely require you to quit taking various medications. Even relatively innocuous medications like OTC NSAIDs can cause dire and severe consequences in an operating room (as they will thin your blood and make you bleed more easily, bleed more in general, and have a harder time clotting). That one can be so problematic you need to avoid taking them for awhile even just to donate blood or get a piercing because the chances of excessive bleeding are much greater.

Yeah, I got a bad picture because though I think the intention was harmless, a few transgender people online were talking about how they wouldn't be able to take HRT because of surgery and how upset they feeled about it and how 'unfair it was', not leading to a full picture because I've never had much surgery and I'm not a doctor.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Yeah, I got a bad picture because though I think the intention was harmless, a few transgender people online were talking about how they wouldn't be able to take HRT because of surgery and how upset they feeled about it and how 'unfair it was', not leading to a full picture because I've never had much surgery and I'm not a doctor.

In real life and online, I've encountered several transpeople who seem eager to be offended and misrepresent things. Not many, but they are definitely there, and basically the reason I don't go to trans support groups. Because their skin is thinner than Trump's, they often have a very high level of a defeatist attitude, poor critical thinking abilities, and they often expect no resistance and everyone to just go along (even if they start going on about some whacky stuff isn't gender dysphoria but more along the lines of a personality disorder).

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

In real life and online, I've encountered several transpeople who seem eager to be offended and misrepresent things. Not many, but they are definitely there, and basically the reason I don't go to trans support groups. Because their skin is thinner than Trump's, they often have a very high level of a defeatist attitude, poor critical thinking abilities, and they often expect no resistance and everyone to just go along (even if they start going on about some whacky stuff isn't gender dysphoria but more along the lines of a personality disorder).

For me, there were a couple of ways of describing my gender dysphoria:

1. Like my body got a Blue Screen of Death

or

2. Like I had some 40 pound foreign object inside of me so my body as a defense mechanism was rejecting itself, body and all. Getting on estrogen was like removing that metaphorical 40 pound foreign object.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

1. Like my body got a Blue Screen of Death

I actually like that one, because I get it. I never felt like a foreign object was in me, but definitely something very deep that askew and not right. Before hormones had any effect on my face, I largely avoided looking at myself in a mirror because what I would see was painful to see. Such a mismatch of hardware, software, and OS that I really wasn't functioning, but just surviving and going through the motions, like a blue screened PC doing exactly what it must at that point to carry on because things are very so messed up and wrong there is no other way to proceed.
Things still aren't perfect, but having a face that now isn't unmistakably male, people second guessing themselves and not being able to immediately tell what I am, that alone is way better. Or being referred to as a female name and pronouns, it's great, and a weird feeling to not hate your name and feel an attachment to it instead, and feel like "you" are there in the pronouns.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I actually like that one, because I get it. I never felt like a foreign object was in me, but definitely something very deep that askew and not right. Before hormones had any effect on my face, I largely avoided looking at myself in a mirror because what I would see was painful to see. Such a mismatch of hardware, software, and OS that I really wasn't functioning, but just surviving and going through the motions, like a blue screened PC doing exactly what it must at that point to carry on because things are very so messed up and wrong there is no other way to proceed.
Things still aren't perfect, but having a face that now isn't unmistakably male, people second guessing themselves and not being able to immediately tell what I am, that alone is way better. Or being referred to as a female name and pronouns, it's great, and a weird feeling to not hate your name and feel an attachment to it instead, and feel like "you" are there in the pronouns.

I'm feeling great too. Sometimes it feels for lack of better words like I'm on an estrogen high, usually at night for some reason. But the estrogen is working well on my mood. And if my hair was twice as long, which it isn't, I mean I could almost pass but that's debatable. At least my skin looks more feminine.

 

[JustGeorge]

Or being referred to as a female name and pronouns, it's great, and a weird feeling to not hate your name and feel an attachment to it instead, and feel like "you" are there in the pronouns.

My comfortability with being female was once...well, more uncomfortable than comforting. I struggled with gender identity for awhile, but as I got older I found I cared less and less, as I related with my physical body being me less and less. I now relate to my personal gender as being impermanent and unimportant to me... but no matter what, I cannot put up with my given name. Pronouns fit a bit weird and strange on me, but my name... It feels wrong, almost insulting when someone calls me by it... Like something strange bubbles up in me when I hear it.

I met a Krista once. She was feminine, flirty, bubbly, confidant. She was nice enough, but the name seemed to fit her, not me.

I am George, and I can burp my ABCs! Some people will call me this...but others get really weirded out when I say "please, call me George".

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Sometimes it feels for lack of better words like I'm on an estrogen high,

You probably are. It happens to people with new stuff. It's why people who generally start anything often report feeling very well. But legitimate mood changes are long lasting, and the normal people thing usually passes entirely within a few weeks.

My comfortability with being female was once...well, more uncomfortable than comforting. I struggled with gender identity for awhile, but as I got older I found I cared less and less, as I related with my physical body being me less and less. I now relate to my personal gender as being impermanent and unimportant to me... but no matter what, I cannot put up with my given name. Pronouns fit a bit weird and strange on me, but my name... It feels wrong, almost insulting when someone calls me by it... Like something strange bubbles up in me when I hear it.

I met a Krista once. She was feminine, flirty, bubbly, confidant. She was nice enough, but the name seemed to fit her, not me.

I am George, and I can burp my ABCs! Some people will call me this...but others get really weirded out when I say "please, call me George".

After moving to California, and finding myself so much happier in life than I've ever been, I did start to consider again do I need to transition? But then I was called a guy a few times, had some people confused, and was called a girl while I was under my car working on it. Being called a guy there's just nothing. It's someone else and just not me. I have fun with people getting confused, but I doubt I can find it amusing forever. But being called a girl (and a reminder of how different things are for guys and girls because she thought I may have been attacked and was left there and she ran up to me to see if I needed help), that seems right enough to seem like nothing at all.

 

[Estro Felino]

Yeah, I got a bad picture because though I think the intention was harmless, a few transgender people online were talking about how they wouldn't be able to take HRT because of surgery and how upset they feeled about it and how 'unfair it was', not leading to a full picture because I've never had much surgery and I'm not a doctor.

What surgery do you have in mind?

 

[Estro Felino]

Be you @KAT-KAT
Be self-confident.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

What surgery do you have in mind?

I don't remember what ones they specified, but it wasn't gender related surgery.

And I should probably make it clear I'm not having surgery done. But if anything ever goes wrong with my body like say I slipped and fell down the stairs, I guess that might count as one form of surgery just as an example.