Living as a woman

[PoetPhilosopher]

Not everyone here may share the same views of transgender people, some may see us as a part of a nonreligious movement, but even in such cases... let's not have that discussion here and let's focus on a more specific question...

A man has gender dysphoria and they decide to transition. They are entering a world which may have some new social dynamics for them. Whereas say a 20 year old cis woman has lived 20 years as a woman, they haven't lived out as a woman for even 1 year.

What are your tips for any new social dynamics they may encounter as part of living as a woman and identifying as such, and how do you suggest they best tackle the obstacles ahead?

 

[JustGeorge]

I've been living as a woman my whole life, and I still don't understand women's social dynamics. I wish you the best of luck...

If you figure anything out, please let me know...

 

[ChristineM]

Think feminist, not the outmoded 70s stereotype but fairness.
Drop the male body language and speech patterns, women act and speak differently
A dab of the right fragrance for you, this will take some experimentation, dont be afraid to try someone else's perfume if offered and always get the name incase it suits you.

 

[rocala]

I am not qualified to give advice on this subject but I do know one thing.

A man that I knew was introduced to a woman (male to female post op) by a female colleague. He took a liking to her and suggested meeting for dinner in a few days. This was accepted. They both assumed that he knew as his colleague had often talked about her. As usual though he had not been listening. Luckily he found out before the date but he was in a terrible rage which has never truly left him.

So all I know is it must take incredible courage and I have nothing but the greatest respect for that. Good luck to you all.

 

[SomeRandom]

I guess get used to “girl talk.” I fit in well with “the guys” and I’m not particularly feminine. I act like a guy even, one could say. I just don’t fit into conventional norms and I couldn’t care less.
But one thing I have noticed is the type of topics women discuss as opposed to guys.
My girlfriends and I bemoan “women’s problems.” Be they mensuration, boyfriend’s lack of maturity/domestic help, tips on what to buy etc
Can’t help you with anything other than that. Like I said, I just do what I do. But I’m sure there’s like professionals who can help you adopt aspects to help you. Like I know there’s speech therapists and the like for transitioning purposes

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I'll share a personal story how things are different.

I once went to a bigger chatroom which had 600 people identifying as female, 1600 people identifying as male, and 30 people identifying as trans female half of which were probably on hormones. The people identifying as trans female, even the ones not on hormones but to make it clear, they really weren't faking their gender identity I don't think... well they got about 10x the messages and attention as the people identifying as cis male.

 

[Nakosis]

Not everyone here may share the same views of transgender people, some may see us as a part of a nonreligious movement, but even in such cases... let's not have that discussion here and let's focus on a more specific question...

A man has gender dysphoria and they decide to transition. They are entering a world which may have some new social dynamics for them. Whereas say a 20 year old cis woman has lived 20 years as a woman, they haven't lived out as a woman for even 1 year.

What are your tips for any new social dynamics they may encounter as part of living as a woman and identifying as such, and how do you suggest they best tackle the obstacles ahead?

I would hope social pressure or social dynamics would not require you to be anything other than what you are. Maybe that is not realistic though.

I run into expectation as a guy. I'm supposed to do guy things or like guy things, somethings that I don't really.

Perhaps because I am a guy, I feel freer to not have to act like one. I don't have to prove my guyness.

Be nice if we could all be accepted for whoever we are, whatever that happens to be.

 

[JustGeorge]

I would hope social pressure or social dynamics would not require you to be anything other than what you are. Maybe that is not realistic though.

I run into expectation as a guy. I'm supposed to do guy things or like guy things, somethings that I don't really.

Perhaps because I am a guy, I feel freer to not have to act like one. I don't have to prove my guyness.

Be nice if we could all be accepted for whoever we are, whatever that happens to be.

My husband struggles with other men, as he's not 'guyish' enough to pass to please them. Despite having hair that's long enough to hang to the top of his thigh(which he usually keeps up, for convenience), he looks manish enough, which throws guys off even more.

Honestly, the only large group of people I've ever seen him completely be comfortable enough to relax and be himself in was a handicrafts circle, mostly attended by old ladies. They could share stories about antiquing, and compare dessert recipes.

And likewise, I struggle in groups of women. They expect me to have facial expression, use body language, and to be okay with physical contact. I don't do that stuff. It doesn't feel 'right'. However, by me being me, I usually alienate somebody... And interestingly enough, one of the few large groups of people I was able to be myself in was a local Buddhist discussion group, mostly attended by old men.

 

[Quintessence]

Honestly? Be yourself. Society would be better off if we just treated individuals as individuals instead of expected them to behave some certain way because of... whatever. Be yourself.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

What are your tips for any new social dynamics they may encounter as part of living as a woman and identifying as such, and how do you suggest they best tackle the obstacles ahead?

Take them as they come. Women will bring up different topics with you, men will look at you differently and behave differently around you, and you will be held to different standards and expectations.
And as @ChristineM mentioned, it's also using different mannerisms, body language, and even vocabulary and manner of talking than what men would do.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

And as @ChristineM mentioned, it's also using different mannerisms, body language, and even vocabulary and manner of talking than what men would do.

I'm doomed.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I'm doomed.

Probably not that bad. Girls get to say sweet, and cute, and adorable, and other adjectives that would draw weird looks from the guys if a man said them.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

I'm doomed.

Don't worry too much. I'm a cis woman who owns two dresses I wear maybe once a year. I wear 'men's' jeans because they have functional pockets. I have pet snakes. I carve wood. I play video games. All things misappropriated as signifiers of maleness. But I've never been misgendered. Like @Shadow Wolf was saying, it's easier for women to buck gender norms than men in our culture, both fortunately and unfortunately.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Like @Shadow Wolf was saying, it's easier for women to buck gender norms than men in our culture, both fortunately and unfortunately.

Hmm, that does seem to be true.

The change I'm waiting for most right now, out of physical issues or social issues, is just waiting things out for my facial hair growth rate to slow down even more than it has, as more time passes of me on estrogen.

 

[ADigitalArtist]

Hmm, that does seem to be true.

The change I'm waiting for most right now, out of physical issues or social issues, is just waiting things out for my facial hair growth rate to slow down even more than it has, as more time passes of me on estrogen.

Me too, sister. I could grow a magnificent PCOS beard if I were so inclined. Be a great bearded lady.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Hmm, that does seem to be true.

The change I'm waiting for most right now, out of physical issues or social issues, is just waiting things out for my facial hair growth rate to slow down even more than it has, as more time passes of me on estrogen.

Estrogen won't do anything for that. Again: Estrogen will do nothing for that. Such as, if you have a thick, coarse beard before estrogen, after estrogen you will still have a thick, coarse beard. If you have a shadow once you're done shaving, estrogen will not get rid of it.
Waxing will help. Laser can help, but it's not permanent and only certain skin and hair types will benefit. Electrolysis remains the only permanent option.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Estrogen won't do anything for that. Again: Estrogen will do nothing for that. Such as, if you have a thick, coarse beard before estrogen, after estrogen you will still have a thick, coarse beard. If you have a shadow once you're done shaving, estrogen will not get rid of it.
Waxing will help. Laser can help, but it's not permanent and only certain skin and hair types will benefit. Electrolysis remains the only permanent option.

That's weird. Since I got on estrogen my hair not on my head has really not grown as ferociously.

 

[Rival]

There is no right way to be a woman.

Edit: That is, if you asked me I'd just have to tell you according to my religious leanings. There's a no preaching rule here though

 

[Shadow Wolf]

That's weird. Since I got on estrogen my hair not on my head has really not grown as ferociously.

Body hair will change, but facial hair--which is considerably different from body and scalp hair--largely remains unchanged from hormones (think how a FtM will have permanently thicker facial hair and be able to grow a beard from testosterone).
As for me:
Scalp: I've actually regrown a good amount of hair that began receding and balding over a decade ago (amd now I need a very bad hair day for these spots to be noticeable)
Body: much less overall, not as thick, not as hairy, and it's much finer and softer (insects can no longer tunnel through it).
Facial: softened up some but no significant changes until after I started waxing, which made the hair finer and temporarily removed my beard shadow. Other than that, the noticeable changes with facial hair are where my electrolysist has worked on my face.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Body hair will change, but facial hair--which is considerably different from body and scalp hair--largely remains unchanged from hormones (think how a FtM will have permanently thicker facial hair and be able to grow a beard from testosterone).
As for me:
Scalp: I've actually regrown a good amount of hair that began receding and balding over a decade ago (amd now I need a very bad hair day for these spots to be noticeable)
Body: much less overall, not as thick, not as hairy, and it's much finer and softer (insects can no longer tunnel through it).
Facial: softened up some but no significant changes until after I started waxing, which made the hair finer and temporarily removed my beard shadow. Other than that, the noticeable changes with facial hair are where my electrolysist has worked on my face.

I had a question. I don't really understand the science of how hair works. But could taking estrogen for some time slightly change the shade of your pre-existing hair on your head? The natural color of the hair.