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Life's Great Truths Learned From Experience

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Revoltingest, Aug 22, 2019.

  1. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    Bokononism
    With enuf bacon, even vegetables can be endured.
     
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  2. Fool

    Fool ALL in all
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    Light Impressed with Love

    varaha would agree, or maybe not.
     
  3. Rival

    Rival The Unicorn
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    בת נח
    Tomatoes are evil.
     
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  4. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
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    • Fire is hot.
    • Driving while enraged can lead to almost rolling a car.
    • Trying to convince someone by using facts and logic is 99% futile.
    • Dogs like to eat fresh cow poop.
    • If a woman says "nothing's the matter" you are in utterly deep doo-doo.
    • Saying and meaning "I'm sorry" even if it's not your fault and offering a foot massage is often effective.
    • Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD
     
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  5. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    But even with bacon?
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  6. Rival

    Rival The Unicorn
    Staff Member Premium Member

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    בת נח
    Not into bacon, but black pudding is the best.
     
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  7. sealchan

    sealchan Well-Known Member

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    For some sorry means taking responsibility, for others it means offering empathy.
     
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  8. AT-AT

    AT-AT Well-Known Member

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    I finally figured out what direction I should go, when I studied the revelations of the Baha'i faith
    When you say you're going to spend 15 minutes at Walmart, you are right and wrong - yes it takes 15 minutes, no you spend another 30 minutes waiting for a checkout lane or self-checkout to free up.
     
  9. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Greased up & ready for action!
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    MMmmm, mmmmm, mmmMMmmmMMM....nothing like fried coagulated blood to excite the taste buds, eh!
     
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  10. Estro Felino

    Estro Felino Believer in free will
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    :whitecheck:
     
  11. Wu Wei

    Wu Wei ursus senum severiorum and ex-Bisy Backson

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    With enough bacon..... you too can have hypertension and an acute myocardial infarction
     
  12. BSM1

    BSM1 Who's a good boy?

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    Buddhistic Panenthetic Jesusonian

    There is nothing cute about a myocardial infarction....just sayin'.
     
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  13. Wu Wei

    Wu Wei ursus senum severiorum and ex-Bisy Backson

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    Was not meant to be cute, and hypertension is not cute either....it was however truthful
     
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  14. Enoch07

    Enoch07 It's all a sick freaking joke.
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    If you've been taking high dose antibiotics. Don't ever trust a fart.
     
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  15. Stanyon

    Stanyon WWMHD?

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    Living
    don't drink a large Starbucks nitro cold brew with cream after you haven't eaten for a day and a half
    (I sometimes forget to eat)
     
  16. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man Bompu Zen Man with a little bit of Bushido.

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    And to think they get to review movies where you can be pelted with Rotten Tomatoes.
     
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  17. Wu Wei

    Wu Wei ursus senum severiorum and ex-Bisy Backson

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    There are things you really don't want to know.....but sadly you don't know that, until after you already know those things
     
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  18. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    Black tomatoes are pretty damn good
    So are (what i call) ugly tomatoes
    b7c8b38f-f662-406f-ba2c-6d33b3c8e605--2703838509_0eb644de57_z.jpg
     
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  19. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    Black pudding is preferable to haggis
     
  20. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
    Premium Member

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    Talking of time...

    My theory is microprocessors emit a time warp.

    It happens every time. "I am just going on the computer for five minutes"

    Over 4 hours later i shout "five minutes were up 4 hours ago"
     
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