Leaving the old me behind

[Spirit of Light]

So for some time been away from everything just to see if it was possible to find the answer to " who am I"
The answer i found was "leave all the past negative behind you" so i did.
I moved, found new place to shop, new places to walk in afternoon. Took time to see who i am.
And as the advice said. I left all negativity in the past. ( its still there in the past somewhere)
But the focus is not on my self as a person anymore. Life is not about me as Amanaki anymore. Life is about what I do to be happy or what to do when I feel sad, angry or frustration. And in my litte search, the answer always come back as " it is not the personal anger, Sadness or frustration. It is the situation that lead up to those emotions arise that is the problem.

Am i free from them now? Nope i just deal with them better.

So i will be a bit online again.

 

[DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan]

Those are the same answers for me, looks like we are talking to the same thing now.

My life is about making my life better, and even investing in a better future, as well as a better now, and later, all of it.

What is irritating? Can it be reduced, solved, eliminated, ignored? Are there consequences for doing such?

What is pleasurable and makes me feel better and best in every regard? Food, sleep time, practices, conversations, interactions, which and when and how? Can it be increased? Improved?

How to make our life as good as it can be, with as little bad as possible?

When things seem to go wrong, it is the fact that their going wrong has caused us problems or difficulties and pains and so its the events to blame, and those things happening are coming also from the same place as the Good, which is "All from Allah", and so we turn repeatedly to Allah, and furthermore, I have seen that in many cases, there may be a thing which seems bad at first or is bad, but then forces us towards some good or leads to good or good things that might never have happened otherwise.

Furthermore, we are not the Choosers really, and so what we eat in the day, though we think it is our choice, is ultimately and even immediately what Allah has decided we will be eating that day, or doing that day, or experiencing now and now and now. So we thank Allah for whatever good, and ask Allah to turn everything into good and benefit for us, here and later.

What Allah brings into our experience, we are possibly being led to things we don't even know, and we are surrendered, all we can do is pray for the best, that everything is turned towards good and better, that even what seems bad at first is turned towards some benefit, some exercise, some strengthening, some improvement, and we work to master our lives, until we die like Sean Connery, whenever Allah takes our lives.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Those are the same answers for me, looks like we are talking to the same thing now.

My life is about making my life better, and even investing in a better future, as well as a better now, and later, all of it.

What is irritating? Can it be reduced, solved, eliminated, ignored? Are there consequences for doing such?

What is pleasurable and makes me feel better and best in every regard? Food, sleep time, practices, conversations, interactions, which and when and how? Can it be increased? Improved?

How to make our life as good as it can be, with as little bad as possible?

When things seem to go wrong, it is the fact that their going wrong has caused us problems or difficulties and pains and so its the events to blame, and those things happening are coming also from the same place as the Good, which is "All from Allah", and so we turn repeatedly to Allah, and furthermore, I have seen that in many cases, there may be a thing which seems bad at first or is bad, but then forces us towards some good or leads to good or good things that might never have happened otherwise.

Furthermore, we are not the Choosers really, and so what we eat in the day, though we think it is our choice, is ultimately and even immediately what Allah has decided we will be eating that day, or doing that day, or experiencing now and now and now. So we thank Allah for whatever good, and ask Allah to turn everything into good and benefit for us, here and later.

What Allah brings into our experience, we are possibly being led to things we don't even know, and we are surrendered, all we can do is pray for the best, that everything is turned towards good and better, that even what seems bad at first is turned towards some benefit, some exercise, some strengthening, some improvement, and we work to master our lives, until we die like Sean Connery, whenever Allah takes our lives.

Yes, we are seeing it very similar now. My search in the past had the wrong viewpoint, i was looking at my self, and not the cause of my suffering or negativity. As soon i realize to look at the situation that lead to my suffering it seased to exist in that negative form.

 

[DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan]

Man:
Their life is made of survival, they need help at first, and care, and then can stand on their own somewhat (or so they think).
Man needs Air (without air they die soonest)
then Water (without water, they die next soonest)
then Earth (Food and Shelter) (without food, they die slower, but still they die)
then Sun (which keeps the food growing and that which eats it which we eat also)
Health and the ability to live
Shelter and a place to be secure
Work and ways to acquire food for health
Mental Stimulation and Entertainment
Prayer and Worship and Philosophy
Charity and Giving and Love
Friendship, Companionship, Affection

Often that may even lead to a repetition of the cycle, and another life beginning.

There are only a few areas in life that one has to master their time and hours daily in.

Their personal beauty, hygiene, appearance, clothing, voice, expression, decency, maneuvering through the world, your vessel which is your body.

Their environment and surroundings, not only what you see the most or reside in and deal with a lot, like the rooms of your home, your office, but also the places you travel to and through most frequently, and improving what can be improved and not worrying too much about what really nothing can be done with, moving around obstacles to deal with what can be dealt with.

Then their mind, and mental health, which includes everything from sleeping well and eating well and the things related to the body, but also how we think, what we think, how we translate and rationalize and interpret our experiences, how we deal with stress or escape from anxieties.

One of my favorite reliefs comes through the prayer Rubbay ughfir Wa arhum Wa untha Khayroor Rahimeen

 

[DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan]

Yes, we are seeing it very similar now. My search in the past had the wrong viewpoint, i was looking at my self, and not the cause of my suffering or negativity. As soon i realize to look at the situation that lead to my suffering it seased to exist in that negative form.

Totally, and it also takes a burden off of us, being so hard on ourselves about everything, its so simple to see, we would not have been angry really if it were not for this or this or this thing seemingly causing us pain or getting in our way and being an irritation, sometimes a compounded irritation, and when those are noticed, and when they are resolved, or otherwise put aside because really nothing can be done in that case, then in its identification we know what the problem is at least and aren't adding to it by whipping ourselves about why we are feeling bad, its obvious!

Excellent!!!

 

[Spirit of Light]

Totally, and it also takes a burden off of us, being so hard on ourselves about everything, its so simple to see, we would not have been angry really if it were not for this or this or this thing seemingly causing us pain or getting in our way and being an irritation, sometimes a compounded irritation, and when those are noticed, and when they are resolved, or otherwise put aside because really nothing can be done in that case, then in its identification we know what the problem is at least and aren't adding to it by whipping ourselves about why we are feeling bad, its obvious!

Excellent!!!

In my search for finding the "me" person, responding to negativity is not always the right way ( to me any way). And I used to always want to respond because i took the negativity personally so actually i caused my own suffering, but i got angry at others for my own lack of understanding i thought i would know those things about my self already....

 

[DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan]

In my search for finding the "me" person, responding to negativity is not always the right way ( to me any way). And I used to always want to respond because i took the negativity personally so actually i caused my own suffering, but i got angry at others for my own lack of understanding i thought i would know those things about my self already....

What is your age currently? I just turned 34 myself, and have to figure out how to do a better job of cleaning, as well as predicting my own tendencies to do things which might result in troubles, or to better control myself also or channel things in better ways.

 

[Spirit of Light]

What is your age currently? I just turned 34 myself, and have to figure out how to do a better job of cleaning, as well as predicting my own tendencies to do things which might result in troubles, or to better control myself also or channel things in better ways.

I am 43 years old but you know, because of my search i realized i just started my life again from zero. Leaving my past is like starting all over again.

 

[DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan]

I am 43 years old but you know, because of my search i realized i just started my life again from zero. Leaving my past is like starting all over again.

Yeah! It is beautiful even to have a fresh beginning, whenever it comes along. I recently even lost so much from my past, my years in Vancouver and any record of them almost were wiped out just a few days ago when an SD card was thrown in the trash accidentally! At around the same time, I changed major habits, cleaned up major things, a lot of the same sort of major shifts are changing at this age (34, 43, both adding to 7), and its like a fresh start, even in a fresh place, which I'm finally getting to use, after also the cleansing or changes which changed the world in 2020 and made things very different and new as well. I really feel invigorated that the way things are opening up and clearing may be making room for a lot of improvements that seemed to be held back or stagnating for years now!

 

[Spirit of Light]

Yeah! It is beautiful even to have a fresh beginning, whenever it comes along. I recently even lost so much from my past, my years in Vancouver and any record of them almost were wiped out just a few days ago when an SD card was thrown in the trash accidentally! At around the same time, I changed major habits, cleaned up major things, a lot of the same sort of major shifts are changing at this age (34, 43, both adding to 7), and its like a fresh start, even in a fresh place, which I'm finally getting to use, after also the cleansing or changes which changed the world in 2020 and made things very different and new as well. I really feel invigorated that the way things are opening up and clearing may be making room for a lot of improvements that seemed to be held back or stagnating for years now!

An other thing i changed within my self was the worry about. What if......
I dont tell my self that any more. To me the " what if" means i worry about something i have not done yet.
If i fail in my life from now, i made that choice to try, so its ok to make mistake as long i understand what went "wrong". I learn by doing, not from not trying.

 

[DagonVarunaMitraApolloZan]

An other thing i changed within my self was the worry about. What if......
I dont tell my self that any more. To me the " what if" means i worry about something i have not done yet.
If i fail in my life from now, i made that choice to try, so its ok to make mistake as long i understand what went "wrong". I learn by doing, not from not trying.

I also had to come to terms with simply trying and continuing to try, rather than what the outcome may be (or however disturbing the imagined outcomes may be or imagined failures to achieve whatever dreams I had or wished to accomplish), and further relief comes from the thought that, whatever I do achieve, however I may achieve it, it is as Allah has willed and made it so, and if I tried and something else occurred which was not intended, this may not really be my fault or any fault at all, but "As Allah Wills", and furthermore, if Allah intended for a thing, it could be brought about instantly, or whenever Allah wills for it to be and how, so in that sense everything I want is right at my fingertips, easy to achieve, and only Allah can make it so or not at any time, whether by a process, or by a rapid miracle, or some shift, or however, and "Allah Knows, You Know Not", and so we are left in a state where we simply ask for what we might want, work for what we want in what ways we think are best and most efficient and useful, and with "Insha'Allah" on our mind and lips, and with wonder, that Allah, for whatever reason, creates processes and "teaches in stages" and makes us grow, step by step by these processes. Where our ambitions are to reach end results rapidly, Allah makes a garden flourish through every stage of the journey towards our desires. Making so much more out of what might just be a conclusive moment of achievement that we rush towards because "Man is made out of Haste".

 

[Spirit of Light]

I also had to come to terms with simply trying and continuing to try, rather than what the outcome may be (or however disturbing the imagined outcomes may be or imagined failures to achieve whatever dreams I had or wished to accomplish), and further relief comes from the thought that, whatever I do achieve, however I may achieve it, it is as Allah has willed and made it so, and if I tried and something else occurred which was not intended, this may not really be my fault or any fault at all, but "As Allah Wills", and furthermore, if Allah intended for a thing, it could be brought about instantly, or whenever Allah wills for it to be and how, so in that sense everything I want is right at my fingertips, easy to achieve, and only Allah can make it so or not at any time, whether by a process, or by a rapid miracle, or some shift, or however, and "Allah Knows, You Know Not", and so we are left in a state where we simply ask for what we might want, work for what we want in what ways we think are best and most efficient and useful, and with "Insha'Allah" on our mind and lips, and with wonder, that Allah, for whatever reason, creates processes and "teaches in stages" and makes us grow, step by step by these processes. Where our ambitions are to reach end results rapidly, Allah makes a garden flourish through every stage of the journey towards our desires. Making so much more out of what might just be a conclusive moment of achievement that we rush towards because "Man is made out of Haste".

In my search i come to the situation that i was reading in the Qur'an and Allah in a way telling me to change how i think, and my first thought was " i dont understand why, but i will do as you tell me to do" so the prosess of finding the change began. Am i finish in my change? No not for a long time. Because i finding aspects of my thinking, my doing and speaking that would benefit my life if and when i change it.
So by not only letting go of my past, but physically moving away, i am in a situation where i think more freely now.

I have not found the "Amanaki " i thought i was looking for

 

[ChristineM]

So for some time been away from everything just to see if it was possible to find the answer to " who am I"
The answer i found was "leave all the past negative behind you" so i did.
I moved, found new place to shop, new places to walk in afternoon. Took time to see who i am.
And as the advice said. I left all negativity in the past. ( its still there in the past somewhere)
But the focus is not on my self as a person anymore. Life is not about me as Amanaki anymore. Life is about what I do to be happy or what to do when I feel sad, angry or frustration. And in my litte search, the answer always come back as " it is not the personal anger, Sadness or frustration. It is the situation that lead up to those emotions arise that is the problem.

Am i free from them now? Nope i just deal with them better.

So i will be a bit online again.

I saw a thread of yours a few minutes ago and thought, the guy just cannot stay away. Anyway glad to see you back and that you have mad e a positive change in your life

 

[Spirit of Light]

I saw a thread of yours a few minutes ago and thought, the guy just cannot stay away. Anyway glad to see you back and that you have mad e a positive change in your life

Hehe yes i am back but not as much as i used to be in the past.
My leave become shorter then i expected, but it felt right to come back to have a bit of a new beginning in RF. I have sorted my life in a new way. A lot more minimalistic way of living. And without the worry from my past.
So i do hope that the writing in will do in RF is less focused on me as a person, but yes i will still use examples from my own life in new OP i make. But hopefully less focused on me as a person.

My new thoughts are more about situations and ways of solving problems that might arise, then telling others what is right for them

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Hi Amanaki.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Hi Amanaki.

Hi again @KAT-KAT i am back in RF dang it i cant stay away
How are you?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Hi again @KAT-KAT i am back in RF dang it i cant stay away
How are you?

Doing well. I'm coming back from a 4 day forum break in which I did a psychology exercise known as Shadow Work where you look at past hurt within yourself and face it to try to get over it.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Doing well. I'm coming back from a 4 day forum break in which I did a psychology exercise known as Shadow Work where you look at past hurt within yourself and face it to try to get over it.

Glad to hear you doing well i am in a much better place my self too, a happy place so to speak