Learning from those who critique you.

[Unveiled Artist]

I remember watching a Unitarian Universalist (UU) sermon awhile back. The pastor mentioned his recently deceased friend. When people critiqued his friend, she would say "YES! This is something new god has shown me."

In other words, with each criticism and insight from others, she saw it as a lesson(s) god revealed to her rather than ignoring critiques she felt had no substance. She found god in all criticisms. If we saw benefit or insight (to make her statement more NB friendly ) in other people's critiques not ignore them based on who said it, it may teach us something if we are willing to learn from it.

Just a thought, not a sermon.

 

[Fallen Prophet]

The critique often leave me thinking, Did i really miss something from the teaching? Am I the one who was wrong even i believe the way i do? Then i go back to the teaching and study, but what actually happens is that i learn more about myself then about new wisdom

Good observation.

Me being critiqued more than likely helps me solidify my beliefs - but I have been swayed here and there.

It almost always an enriching experience - as long as it is constuctive.

 

[night912]

Humans, with exception of believers, are not sincere to the truth. They accept what they like and reject what they don't like and the sorcery embraces them and doesn't let them see with mental clarity, and proofs don't matter for most people. We inherited culture where we don't want to unite on truth but everyone leave everyone to their false ways. Those who claim to believe in hell, are also people, who don't care how many fall to it and have stopped trying to save others.

The sincere to the truth, who listen for the sake of learning truth and leaving falsehood, are so few. Most people use God and his Messengers as idols to follow their leaders and worship the Dunya and Satanic identity. There is very few who take God and his chosen as reliable guidance and don't mix falsehood with their truth and don't mix unclean sources with pure streams of knowledge.

Because humans are influenced by how "majority" act, and majority are in a state where truth is not that important to them, even Muslims, truth is almost completely hidden. The reality of the word of light and God's guidance is known to so few.

Are you a mind reader? If not, then you should definitely rethink about the way you critique others and how you analyze criticism. From your comment, you place the importance of the person above their critique. So your willingness to accept different and/or new ideas is not based off of the idea itself, instead it's on the person presenting the idea.

The truth is also so easy to see and clear, if people were sincere to the truth.

Yes, the truth is also so easy to see and clear, if people were sincere to the truth. That's a good advice, but how come you don't take your own advice and actually do what you preach? You just shown us that you are exactly what you said about the type of people who you hate. This post just shows that you don't care about the truth. Even "truth" is going too far, just ideas that are different from yours. Apparently you care more about the false information and hate for the people who have different beliefs. You coming in here and talk negatively and spreading false information about those people instead of talking about criticism, is evidence of your hate. Hopefully you are able to open your eyes and see the truth, that your way of reasoning is flawed and that you can change your way of thinking.

 

[Link]

You coming in here and talk negatively and spreading false information about those people instead of talking about criticism, is evidence of your hate.

My point was, criticism and praise, is chaotic in this age, where people accept what they like and reject what they don't like.

This is from Misbahal Shariah:

It is related that Tha'labah al-Asadi asked the Messenger of Allah about this verse:


يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ عَلَيْكُمْ أَنفُسَكُمْ لاَ يَضُرُّكُم مَّن ضَلَّ إِذَا اهْتَدَيْتُمْ


O you who believe! Take care of your souls; he who errs cannot hurt you when you are on the right way. (5:105)

The Messenger of Allah said, 'Enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and be forbearing in whatever afflicts you, until such time when you see meanness obeyed and passions followed, and when everyone will have conceit about their own opinion, then you should concern yourself only with yourself, and ignore the affairs of the common people.'


My (Link) comment: I wonder if humanity is in this state right now, where it doesn't really matter if you command to good and forbid evil and one should just concern themselves with themselves.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Good observation.

Me being critiqued more than likely helps me solidify my beliefs - but I have been swayed here and there.

It almost always an enriching experience - as long as it is constuctive.

You make a good point.

@Conscious thoughts Do you mean learning from constructive criticism or negative criticism?

I think knowing the difference really helps. Also, the challenge to see god's insight in negative criticism may take a bit more work than constructive criticism.

 

[night912]

My point was, criticism and praise, is chaotic in this age, where people accept what they like and reject what they don't like.

No you didn't. What was the first thing you said?

Humans, with exception of believers, are not sincere to the truth. They accept what they like and reject what they don't like and the sorcery embraces them and doesn't let them see with mental clarity, and proofs don't matter for most people.

You showed your hate right away by giving false information. You're not sincere to the truth, so you proved that your first sentence is false information. And eventhough I provided evidence, it didn't matter to you. Instead, you chose to lie about what you said.

Now you're being dishonest. You're the one who showed your true self and how you think, I simply gave a critique of your way of reasoning, which is flawed. You can deny and lie all you want, but the evidence shows the truth, whether you like to accept the truth or not.

 

[Spirit of Light]

You make a good point.

@Conscious thoughts Do you mean learning from constructive criticism or negative criticism?

I think knowing the difference really helps. Also, the challenge to see god's insight in negative criticism may take a bit more work than constructive criticism.

Actually i mean learning from both constructive and negative critique

 

[Fallen Prophet]

You make a good point.

@Conscious thoughts Do you mean learning from constructive criticism or negative criticism?

I think knowing the difference really helps. Also, the challenge to see god's insight in negative criticism may take a bit more work than constructive criticism.

You can be edified by both constructive and negative criticism.

I guess what I meant was - as long as those who are critiquing you are worthy of consideration.

I get a lot of flak about some things I believe. Some of that flak is worthwhile while the vast majority is not.

It's just belligerent hate.

I tend to ignore that - which means I ignore most people. Especially online.

 

[TSTS]

A good critique is a very valuable gift. Students coming out of colleges like Oxford Cambridge, etc. will attest to it. And their professors will swear by it.

 

[PruePhillip]

For the longest time i can remember i disliked being critiqued, and not only when it comes to religious practice, but in daily life too. But in the last few months something changed within me. Not that i love being critiqued for my belief or thoughts But the reaction i gained is to not be frustrated or angry at those who may see the world different than i do. Instead of taking it as critique of me, i try to understad where the other person coming from and why they have their understanding or view of the topic. It has helped me calm down in discussion or debate. and i can actually learn about my own inner being from those who critique what i say or write.

How is that for you? Do you take critique well? or do you have to fight for your views and beliefs to feel whole?
Do you get to fast ticked off by those who critique you?

If yes. why?

If you show a little humility and accept that you don't know everything, that
can be a good thing.
If someone on this and the political forums tells me something I don't know
then I am thankful for that - I have just learned something. And if you want
people to learn from you - learn from them too.
Know-alls are brittle and ignorant people.

 

[Vinayaka]

Another person who can critique you is yourself. Have you ever heard of a person who acted against their own better judgement? Happens a lot, and the consequences aren't usually beneficial.

 

[Spirit of Light]

Another person who can critique you is yourself. Have you ever heard of a person who acted against their own better judgement? Happens a lot, and the consequences aren't usually beneficial.

I think i am making more critique of my self than others And i learn a lot from it

 

[Vinayaka]

I think i am making more critique of my self than others And i learn a lot from it

We've all done foolish things. The key is to learn the lesson, and not repeat it.

 

[Spirit of Light]

We've all done foolish things. The key is to learn the lesson, and not repeat it.

I am not supposed to do the same mistake over and over Oh crap thats why i suck in this

 

[Unveiled Artist]

You can be edified by both constructive and negative criticism.

I guess what I meant was - as long as those who are critiquing you are worthy of consideration.

I get a lot of flak about some things I believe. Some of that flak is worthwhile while the vast majority is not.

It's just belligerent hate.

I tend to ignore that - which means I ignore most people. Especially online.

That would mean not all criticisms and comments you don't find worth in and others you do?

What is your criteria for the worthiness of a critique (even, in my view, despite who says it, their education level, and their intent)?

 

[Jainarayan]

How is that for you? Do you take critique well? or do you have to fight for your views and beliefs to feel whole?
Do you get to fast ticked off by those who critique you?

I can be extremely insecure and self-conscious, though I’m less of both now than I was in the past. Like anything else, however, it depends on the delivery... when, where, how, who is present. If it’s condescending I may not take it as a constructive criticism, but rather as an attack.

Example... at a bodybuilding site I was a long time member of I was ripped into by someone about my progress, physique, training and diet. This was just one of two or three people who did this...

It doesn't matter. You come on this forum year in and year out and never change. You are a huge waste of everyone's time. You have not changed since I have been here and you never will. You are not a bodybuilder. You are not really anything but a whining, crying, excuse making, weak man and you will probably leave the forum for a year after reading this post like the last time I called you out.

This is from 2014. I have a long memory of it because he was right to an extent but not entirely, as were the other two or three who did this to me. It’s the old “the truth hurts”. I did not give up after that, but it was no thanks to them. Others were supportive and gave advice and constructive criticism, which I appreciated. But while this guy did have a great physique, his personality negated whatever “tough love” he intended, and simply made an enemy.

Tl;dr... depending on the delivery I may apply the criticism, or you’ll make an enemy.

 

[Fallen Prophet]

That would mean not all criticisms and comments you don't find worth in and others you do?

What is your criteria for the worthiness of a critique (even, in my view, despite who says it, their education level, and their intent)?

It is all about intent in my opinion.

If their intention is to offend or hurt - then I ignore them.

If their critique is offensive or otherwise hurts me in some way - but I realize that it is well thought out, structured, reasonable or otherwise makes sense - I rule that they weren't intending to do me any harm.

I think it's easy to spot the differences.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

It is all about intent in my opinion.

If their intention is to offend or hurt - then I ignore them.

If their critique is offensive or otherwise hurts me in some way - but I realize that it is well thought out, structured, reasonable or otherwise makes sense - I rule that they weren't intending to do me any harm.

I think it's easy to spot the differences.

True. It is. Though hard and maybe habitual (not saying I'm different) but I'd would think we can even learn critiques from those who intend to hurt us?

Unless they put your life in danger, maybe their intentions are to hurt but, unless offence is life threatening (which is natural), one can still walk away with a lesson. In other words, in a sense: kill them with kindness?

 

[Fallen Prophet]

True. It is. Though hard and maybe habitual (not saying I'm different) but I'd would think we can even learn critiques from those who intend to hurt us?

Unless they put your life in danger, maybe their intentions are to hurt but, unless offence is life threatening (which is natural), one can still walk away with a lesson. In other words, in a sense: kill them with kindness?

I'd smother them all - with kindness.

 

[night912]

True. It is. Though hard and maybe habitual (not saying I'm different) but I'd would think we can even learn critiques from those who intend to hurt us?

I agree that we can learn from those who intend to hurt us. What I've learned is that there's one thing that is shared among all of them, ignorance. It doesn't matter if it's ignorance in the topic, in you or in thinking that they think they can hurt us. Hate is something that we should not turn the other way and ignore it.

This is something I say when it comes to hate.

"Ignorance is not an excuse for hate. Ignorance is the origin of hate."