kicking against the pricks

[idea]

If you have not read it in a bit -

Act 26:4 My manner of life from my youth, [was]... after the most straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee....serving "God" day and night...many of the saints did I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I gave my voice against them.... I persecuted them even unto strange cities...Whereupon as I went to Damascus with authority and commission from the chief priests, At midday, O king, I saw in the way a light from heaven, above the brightness of the sun, shining round about me and them which journeyed with me...And when we were all fallen to the earth, I heard a voice speaking unto me, and saying in the Hebrew tongue, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.

For those, who like Saul, who have changed faiths from what they were born into:
What changed you? What made you walk away, what was the light from heaven for you?

For those, who unlike Saul, have stayed in the same faith they were born into: How do you distinguish between "trials that test faith" and ... how should I say it... walls where God is telling you to turn a different direction - trying to tell you to stop kicking against the pricks and change your beliefs? A rose by any other name - some call it "steadfast" and others call it "stiff-necked". I mean... Saul could have held on to previous beliefs, believed it was a fallen angel, remained true and loyal to his parents...kept kicking the pricks his entire life. Everyone from his religious group would have patted him on the back and told him what strong faith he had for staying, and agreed that he had encountered a fallen angel etc. When do you find it noble to change? Do you see those who have left your faith as evil apostates - or can you see them as Saul→Paul, entering a different sphere of spirituality?

 

[The Hammer]

What changed you? What made you walk away, what was the light from heaven for you?

Nothing changed me, that was kind oft he point in the shift. What I was didn't fit and what I became does.

 

[sun rise]

I've written about it in part a number of times on RF so this time just a couple of notes. First your use of "light" is important. When the light reached me, I started feeling there had to be something more than the atheism of my youth and my parents.

Intellectually I had to find something which satisfied my questions about suffering, injustice and all the rest. Intuitively I needed something with felt right. And I needed to find a personage whose life reflected the Divine. After a search I found Meher Baba.

This is one notable incident that was part of my coming to accept him, A reaction to a serious accident like this is not something an ordinary person would ever have:

Vishnu later described it:

The whole thing happened in the flash of an eye. When I came to, I found I was the only one in the back of the car. I stepped out and went to the front to see how Baba was and saw him reclining in the front seat, with blood on his clothes and face. [Even though Baba was bleeding], never in my life have I seen such utter radiance and luster as was on Baba's face then! He was like a king, a victorious king who had won a great battle. Lord Krishna must have looked like that in his chariot on the victorious battlefield. The radiance was blinding! I could see nothing else, not the car, nor the surroundings, only Baba's face in glorious triumph!

After a few moments, Vishnu asked Baba if he was hurt much. Baba nodded, pointing to his mouth and leg, but gestured for Vishnu first to see how the others were.

 

[idea]

... What I was didn't fit and what I became does.

.... I needed something that felt right. ...

I was listening to NPR this morning, really good podcast from the hidden brain on being outwardly honest with one's inner conscience. Do you remain silent, or voice concerns with the group you find yourself born into:

A Conspiracy of Silence | Hidden Brain Media

"What I was" - "What felt right" - some would claim following our own mind, our own feelings, our own desires and personality is .... prideful and selfish (rather than conforming to the group, and submitting to the ideas and beliefs of groups.) - leaning unto your own understanding - good or bad? unavoidable? The choice - follow the group or follow yourself... but then to follow a group you must first decide what group to follow so it is still leaning to your own understanding for what group to follow.

In the hidden brain podcast, examples of how dictators came into power and forced submission were discussed -

Upon leaving the group of your parents, was there backlash? disapproval? and how did you deal with it?

From the podcast:

Timur Kuran: Preference falsification is the act of misrepresenting one's wants because of perceived social pressures. And it aimed specifically to manipulate the perceptions of others about one's motivations or dispositions. Preference falsification is a form of lying, but one aimed at disguising your true preference and also the information that underlies that preference.

In China, the people who had supported the Cultural Revolution wholeheartedly denied that they did that after the regime fell. In Iraq, people serving Saddam were doing so for the same reason that many Czechs and many East Germans and many Poles served their Communist regimes without believing in the regime. There was preference falsification in Iraq too. Of course, it's difficult after a regime change occurs to separate the sincere believers from the preference falsifiers.

I want to talk about how authoritarian regimes create the conditions for preference falsification. And I want to jump forward from the twentieth century to the twenty-first century. In 2013, the world woke up one day to news from North Korea.

News clip: This morning, North Korea is reeling. Its Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-un, completed a stunning power play Thursday against his uncle. North Korea's news agency announced the regime's number two man was executed for trying to overthrow the government, as Seth Doane reports, this high profile purge is unprecedented.

the strategic use of violence in order to enforce preference falsification?

Timur Kuran: I do remember that episode. One of its effects was to make North Korea's dictator signal that absolutely anyone could be punished and punished severely for disloyalty. If Kim can execute a relative and do so without any due process, they could do this to anyone.

For those who never left the religious group they were born into - for those who wholeheartedly agree and believe what their group believes - if your group... changed regimes as it were - if your group changed beliefs, would you follow the group? or would you continue believing what you currently do? Let's say... your religious group changes what they believe about creation, or about homosexuality, or about male/female roles, or about abortion, or about... the nature of God, or about anything you consider important. If this has happened - I think most groups change - think back to a time when your group changed, did you follow your group?

 

[sun rise]

Upon leaving the group of your parents, was there backlash? disapproval? and how did you deal with it?

When I developed a belief in reincarnation, my mother expressed the opinion that death was the end so I told her I bet that it wasn't and it was bet I could not lose. If I was wrong, there'd be no one to collect. But I could win. It was one item among many that caused them (and later my mother when my father passed) to refer to me as meshuggeneh aka someone with crazy ideas.

 

[idea]

I am feeling regret, and feel I need to apologize to those who are happily in a religious community with firm faith for their group.

I think many stay within their religious group in a similar mindset as staying in a marriage - it might not be a perfectly "true love" or perfectly "true belief", and the marriage/group has faults and problems - but through staying you show you are able to forgive, you form lasting friendships, it is a personal development kind of thing.... and hopefully you do not see your marriage/religion as better than others, and leave room for new beliefs and changed ways of thinking. Is that how many handle their religious group? or might be compared to patriotism - that you are sentimental about whatever country you happened to grow up in - the country is not perfect, but it is your home, so there is some spot in your heart for it (even if other countries might be better at many things, and your country has many problems, is not organized perfectly etc.) So healthier to not see your group as "true" or "better" (nationalism vs. patriotism?) but you are still loyal and love your group despite shortcomings and have found a home of sorts within it?