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Jesus Hasn't Returned Because of a Lack of Donations.

Kooky

Freedom from Sanity
This reminds me of "Yen Buddhism", a joke religion created by the late Terry Pratchett for one of his stories: Yen Buddhists believe that money is the root of all evil; so, they take upon themselves the great burden of accumulating as much money as they can, to contain the world's evil and only use it for good things (i.e. their own religion).
 

John53

I go leaps and bounds
Premium Member
This reminds me of "Yen Buddhism", a joke religion created by the late Terry Pratchett for one of his stories: Yen Buddhists believe that money is the root of all evil; so, they take upon themselves the great burden of accumulating as much money as they can, to contain the world's evil and only use it for good things (i.e. their own religion).

I wasted all those years working and all I had to do was start a religion.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Evangelical pastor claims that the reason Jesus hasn’t returned is because people aren’t donating enough money.

Evangelical pastor says Jesus hasn’t returned due to lack of donations

Reminds me of Oral Roberts: Oral Roberts Dead at 91 (gawker.com)

Oral Roberts has finally been killed by God for not raising enough money.

Oral Roberts was a pioneer of televangelism, and he profited handsomely from it. Born into poverty in Oklahoma, he suffered from tuberculosis as a child, thereby learning early on that desperately sick people are willing to part with their money in exchange for some hope. You can make a good living this way if you travel around and take cash directly. Roberts' innovation was in lying to hundreds of thousands—millions!—of people at a time through the miracle of television, and taking checks in the mail.

His show "Oral Roberts Presents" was a forum for healing the sick and dispossessed through God's power, but God doesn't work for free. Roberts famously told his viewers in 1987 that God was going to "call him home" if he didn't raise $8 million from the poor dupes who believed what he said. The death threat worked: After climbing up into a "prayer tower" and going on a hunger strike—a "fast"—until he got his money, Roberts hit the $8 million mark.

He was worth every penny, though, because he had the rare ability to raise the dead. When someone died in the crowd at one of his revivals, he told an audience once, "I had to stop and go back in the crowd and raise the dead person so I could go ahead with the service." Sadly, he couldn't pull the trick off when his son Ronald committed suicide in 1981 after struggling with drug problems. We'd feel bad writing glibly about the death of the man's son if not for the fact that hundreds of thousands of people who suffered similar tragedies sent Roberts more money than they could afford to based on his toxic and preposterous lies.

Other toxic and preposterous lies: A 900-foot-tall Jesus appeared before him and commanded him to raise $120 million to build a hospital. The devil tried to strangle him in his bedroom, only to be driven away by his wife. Special holy water sprinkled on a billfold will bring prosperity. God told him he would return from the dead to rule over the Earth.
 

John53

I go leaps and bounds
Premium Member
I wouldn't agree with that position, but as I listened to it... I don't think that was the context of what he was saying.

I'm more than happy to listen to the correct context if you can point it out. I'm really unsure how it would not sound greedy in any context but happy to be proved wrong.
 

Kenny

Face to face with my Father
Premium Member
I'm more than happy to listen to the correct context if you can point it out. I'm really unsure how it would not sound greedy in any context but happy to be proved wrong.

I wouldn't have said what he said in the way he said it... but the context (as I see it). Side note... I d0n't necessarily like it when people take one statement... eliminate what it says before and after... and then make a statement.

Apparently it is a TV station that proclaims the Gospel throughout the world (or a portion thereof). The context as it said further in was (paraphrased) - if people gave to every voice that proclaims Jesus, the Holy Spirit would have the opportunity to bring people to the knowledge of Jesus Christ. Apparently he believes that when the world has heart the Gospel, then Jesus would come ergo - give according as God spoke to you to spread the Gospel hastening his return (In this case that TV ministry)
 

John53

I go leaps and bounds
Premium Member
I wouldn't have said what he said in the way he said it... but the context (as I see it). Side note... I d0n't necessarily like it when people take one statement... eliminate what it says before and after... and then make a statement.

Apparently it is a TV station that proclaims the Gospel throughout the world (or a portion thereof). The context as it said further in was (paraphrased) - if people gave to every voice that proclaims Jesus, the Holy Spirit would have the opportunity to bring people to the knowledge of Jesus Christ. Apparently he believes that when the world has heart the Gospel, then Jesus would come ergo - give according as God spoke to you to spread the Gospel hastening his return (In this case that TV ministry)

I just went to govictory.com and it appears to be a Kenneth Copeland. If that's the case then it is all about money. I doubt I could every be convinced that man is not evil.
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
Evangelical pastor claims that the reason Jesus hasn’t returned is because people aren’t donating enough money.

Evangelical pastor says Jesus hasn’t returned due to lack of donations
No, that is not the reason. In all seriousness, Jesus has not returned yet because Jesus never promised to return, not even once in the entire New Testament. In fact, Jesus said that His work was finished here and that he was no longer in the world, so I suggest that pastor read his Bible. :rolleyes: :oops:

What about the word "finished" do Christians NOT understand?
Unless Jesus is coming back to play golf with ex-president Trump, there would be no reason for Jesus to return to earth.

Moreover, Jesus never said that He was coming back to build a Kingdom on earth, so why do Christians believe this?


John 14:19 Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.

John 17:11 And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.

John 17:4 I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.

John 19:30 When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.

Moreover, Jesus never said that He was coming back to build a Kingdom on earth, so why do Christians believe this?

John 18:36 Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.

John 18:37 Pilate therefore said unto him, Art thou a king then? Jesus answered, Thou sayest that I am a king. To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth. Every one that is of the truth heareth my voice.
 

John53

I go leaps and bounds
Premium Member
No, that is not the reason. In all seriousness, Jesus has not returned yet because Jesus never promised to return, not even once in the entire New Testament. In fact, Jesus said that His work was finished here and that he was no longer in the world, so I suggest that pastor read his Bible. :rolleyes: :oops:

I would say it has nothing to do with Jesus at all. It's all about thieves taking money from people under false pretenses.
 
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